Advice please. 4 year old DS won't participate in group activities.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel for you and am very moved by your posts. I am going through something very similar with my 4-year-old.

Despite husband's and other family members' protests, I started the whole evaluation, OT, therapy process a couple of months ago. There are a few reasons why I think the "wait and see" approach is a very bad idea. First, if your child is already shying away from certain social interactions and kinds of activities (fine motor/art), he is not going to exercise these skills and will likely get worse at them as his peers get older and better at them. Of course, he will become more self-conscious and aware with age, and the avoidance could lead to a vicious cycle of more avoidance to avoid embarrassment. OT will identify and work on activities he avoids. Second, a diagnosis of SPD or ADD can bring not only help and a path to follow, but also compassion and understanding from those around your son. People often think SPD kids are misbehaving without understanding the extra challenges they face.

I already urged you in an earlier post to consider private OT in addition to childfind. I know childfind is the obvious place to start, but I am afraid the experience may not be all that helpful and it may reinforce your husband's desire to just wait and see.

Since I am going through something very similar with my son, I have many specific ideas and book recs, which may be useful to you. I would be happy to email you if you are interested in trading some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who pursued OT...did your insurance cover it? I have a three year old DD with sensory processing issues but unfortunately Blue Choice doesn't seem to have any participating providers. How much did OT cost? DD is getting OT through the county but it focuses primarily on fine motor skills rather than sensory issues. But we can't really afford much private OT. Would a few months treatment over the summer help (I'm hoping the OT can train me to follow up at home)?

My insurance (BCBS) didn't cover any OT so I paid for it out of pocket. It was $125 per 45 min session and I committed to one session a week all last summer. It made a big difference for my son and his confidence. He had just turned 4 yrs old and I think he was really getting anxious about loud, crowded situations like preschool. Let the OT know your situation and about how many sessions you can afford. Ask them to give you ideas to do at home and strategies for your child.

[Anonymous]

Whether insurance pays for it or not depends on what the diagnosis is. I have BCBS - FEP and it pays for OT.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm the PP who posted about my DD who was helped by OT. The preschool story sounds so familiar. In DD's case she would be overwhelmed by the whole experience, worried about remembering what to do and feeling insecure in her body and in space, it's that kind of confidence that he is lacking and it needs to come before you can feel psychologically or socially confident. I'd really urge you to get a private OT eval as well, Childfind at that age is going to be looking more at fine motor type skills, but won't give him the secure broad foundation he needs. We had BCBS and it covered 50% of $115 sessions. Our provider recommended a private session and a group session a week in addition to a gymnastics class through the county. More park time too. The chiange was dramatic and rapid in our case. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether insurance pays for it or not depends on what the diagnosis is. I have BCBS - FEP and it pays for OT.

The only way my BCBS would pay for it was if my son had a birth defect or a few other conditions like Lou Gehrig's. Nothing even came close to SPD so my OT couldn't code it in a creative way in order for it to be covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm the PP who posted about my DD who was helped by OT. The preschool story sounds so familiar. In DD's case she would be overwhelmed by the whole experience, worried about remembering what to do and feeling insecure in her body and in space, it's that kind of confidence that he is lacking and it needs to come before you can feel psychologically or socially confident. I'd really urge you to get a private OT eval as well, Childfind at that age is going to be looking more at fine motor type skills, but won't give him the secure broad foundation he needs. We had BCBS and it covered 50% of $115 sessions. Our provider recommended a private session and a group session a week in addition to a gymnastics class through the county. More park time too. The chiange was dramatic and rapid in our case. Best of luck!

I'm PP who asked about cost of OT...are you in MoCo by any chance? I'm looking for a good provider. Sorry to hijack your thread, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whether insurance pays for it or not depends on what the diagnosis is. I have BCBS - FEP and it pays for OT.

The only way my BCBS would pay for it was if my son had a birth defect or a few other conditions like Lou Gehrig's. Nothing even came close to SPD so my OT couldn't code it in a creative way in order for it to be covered.

Another BCBS-FEP mom here. OT for my DS was covered and he doesn't have any of the conditions you mention except SPD and some muscle tone issues. Many kids with SPD have some muscle tone or core muscle issues and it might be worth talking to the OT/Office manager about the lack of reimbursment and if there's anything they may have overlooked. BCBS-FEP also paid for speech therapy for the same kid.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad that you made the decision to get an evaluation. All too often parents, like myself and hubby in the past, think that kids will outgrow things or that they are just being kids and they aren't old enough to listen or any other excuse to avoid facing something that we don't want to face. I hated the idea at first of my daughter being "labeled". I didn't know enough about her diagnosis and I'm ashamed to admit it but I was embarrassed by her diagnosis. Now, I don't care who knows and more importantly, she doesn't care if anyone knows either. It's nothiing to be embarrassed about. Getting help for her led to me getting myself diagnosed as well, because there are so many similarities between us. OP, sometimes places say they will get back to you within 2 weeks and if it has been longer than 2 weeks, sometimes reminder calls need to be made. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

HI, no time to read all the previous posts, just wanted to say this:

Don't, don't, don't pathologize normal variation!!!!

Your teachers input is worth 27 million times the worth of us anoymous posters. Kids are different. He's participating in his own way. Watch it, track it, but for now it's deep breath time, and schedule a long chat with his teacher.

This sounds totally and completely within the normal variation. Your use of the expressions "Picassos" when describing the other kids pictures hints that you are maybe glorifying other kids actions a bit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HI, no time to read all the previous posts, just wanted to say this:

Don't, don't, don't pathologize normal variation!!!!

Your teachers input is worth 27 million times the worth of us anoymous posters. Kids are different. He's participating in his own way. Watch it, track it, but for now it's deep breath time, and schedule a long chat with his teacher.

This sounds totally and completely within the normal variation. Your use of the expressions "Picassos" when describing the other kids pictures hints that you are maybe glorifying other kids actions a bit?

While I totally agree with PP's that early intervention is key (I have a DD with SPD), I also have to agree with this poster. My oldest is very shy and definitely prefers small groups, but doesn't meet the criteria for SPD. I remember watching him at school parades, etc and feeling like he was the only kid who was anxious--but that just couldn't have been the case. It's so easy to compare your child to other children and fuel your anxiety...I've done it so many times. It's unlikely that the other children in your son's class are making "Picasso's" (and I don't mean that in a snarky way--I just can relate to your rose-colored view of other kids because I've been there). Definitely get your son evaluated by a good OT, but in the meantime take some deep breaths. Kids develop at such different rates and there is a tremendous range of "normal" in these preschoolers. It might be SPD, but it might also be a sensitive temperament that will evolve over time. My DS is still shy but has come such a long way. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

What is FEP? I have BCBS PPO but it is an individual plan so it covers nothing at all for OT unless it was for rehab if my son had a stroke, accident or birth defect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is FEP? I have BCBS PPO but it is an individual plan so it covers nothing at all for OT unless it was for rehab if my son had a stroke, accident or birth defect.

FEP = Federal Employee Plan. I have family coverage, standard option.