If kid isn't quirky will she fit in at a liberal arts college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other.

This will definitely vary by place. SLACs are similar in size and general approach to education, but that doesn't mean they are all going to be equally friendly and welcoming.

I personally like the Fiske Guide for getting a sense of various schools. Also check out student reviews for specific colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you both!! She goes to a DC private but not conservative. She tends to be more conservative then most at her school. I was so mad when the counselor said that to her. Like, let her decide!!! She isn't going to like a big party/Greek life SEC school. I'm thinking the counselor assumes certain things because my DD is AA. Odd....

Report that counselor! This is MORE than a microaggression. It is overtly racist.

What a IDIOT I am. I never even thought that and assumed it was because she is very outgoing and into sports. She made it sound like these schools are full of weird kids who only like to study with no skills. I am not a college grad so I have no clue about liberal arts colleges other than my daughter telling me she likes the size and they are good if you want to study econ.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, OP. Is diversity important to your daughter? Many SLACs aren't very diverse Yes, all colleges are on their soapbox right now promoting diversity, but not quite there yet. She can find a small liberal arts school with diversity.

Just clarify with her:

1. Just how small does she envision? Maybe she means a mid sized campus 5,000-9,000
2. Urban, suburban, rural?
3. Assuming she's not into big, Greek dominated private or publics
4. She's outgoing and into sports, so she wants some kind of social outlet that includes things other than campus only, which can become really boring after a while. That being said, many SLACs can be isolating, not close to a city or much of a college town.
6. What part of the country appeals to her?
7. Narrow down a list that not only offers her major, but concentrations under the econ umbrella. What does she think she wants to do with an econ degree?

Most importantly, use Niche (scroll down to reviews, choose overall experience from the drop down menu) to get the most current student reviews. Reddit is amazing, and also real time. She can sign up and post questions or just read everything. DS lived and breathed Reddit during the college process. Students are honest, forthcoming and will answer anything. Diversity, quirkiness, academic rigor, sports, and social life are top discussions. I'd recommend this as the first point of discovery about any school. As far as quirky goes, kids will define their school. Brandeis, Skidmore seem to get a lot of quirky chatter. This is just an example and nothing more. Both good schools for the right person. Same with BC, not very diverse, and many sports/finance bros. Great school for the right person. Lehigh, social life is Greek dominated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

You should have her reach out to the econ professors of some schools she is interested in to see if she finds a connection that way. They will welcome questions from an enthusiastic prospective student and can provide helpful background and resources.

When my senior was applying we told him that he could weigh what his counselor, teachers, we said to him about fit, but that ultimately it was up to him and that none of us should stop him from applying anywhere. GL!

[Anonymous]

Yes. All those liberal arts colleges are filled with thousands of quirky kids. Your "normal" child will never fit in.

[Anonymous]

Get a new college counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure, rule out every single liberal arts school for this reason. SMH.

Good grief, rude PP.

The one ruling out schools here is the guidance counselor, NOT the OP or her kid.

The counselor is wrong and is making gross generalizations. But the OP is asking for some advice about what all this stuff means (who even thinks about "quirky" anyway except when you hear things like "That college is for quirky kids!" and other nonsense designed to shove people into defined boxes?). If you don't have any real-world advice, but just came here to snark, that's...sad. Lots of us above have posted ideas and advice for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

My impression, just based on people I've met, is that Amherst has a lot of amazing AA alumni. So, maybe consider Amherst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

Hmmm . . . OP, I went to a SLAC, as did my husband, as did five of our sibs and their spouses, and as did/do two of my kids and four of my nephews and nieces (in all, we have attended five of the NESCAC schools). The observation regarding students not speaking to each other sounds very off. Honestly, when I have visited my kids and their cousins on campus, you can hardly have a conversation because they kids are constantly saying hi to each other. Also, can you be more specific about what you mean by "quirky"? I'd ask the same of other posters here. The quoted poster above who talks about "quirkies" and "normal" kids sounds mean and narrow-minded. That's definitely not cool at SLACs, BTW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

Hmmm . . . OP, I went to a SLAC, as did my husband, as did five of our sibs and their spouses, and as did/do two of my kids and four of my nephews and nieces (in all, we have attended five of the NESCAC schools). The observation regarding students not speaking to each other sounds very off. Honestly, when I have visited my kids and their cousins on campus, you can hardly have a conversation because they kids are constantly saying hi to each other. Also, can you be more specific about what you mean by "quirky"? I'd ask the same of other posters here. The quoted poster above who talks about "quirkies" and "normal" kids sounds mean and narrow-minded. That's definitely not cool at SLACs, BTW.

Honestly, I don't even know what quirky means and can only assume. The counselor used that word. My own DD may be quirky because most kids her age love parties and she hates them. I feel like the counselor doesn't really know her. Maybe she assumes she isn't quirky because all she knows for sure is that my DD is friendly, well liked, and plays multiple sports (no interest in playing in college - she could certainly do D3 in all her sports), not into the arts and that she is AA. When I think quirky I think the artsy type that are always on the picket line protesting, raising there voices, etc. So in that regard - My DD is NOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

Hmmm . . . OP, I went to a SLAC, as did my husband, as did five of our sibs and their spouses, and as did/do two of my kids and four of my nephews and nieces (in all, we have attended five of the NESCAC schools). The observation regarding students not speaking to each other sounds very off. Honestly, when I have visited my kids and their cousins on campus, you can hardly have a conversation because they kids are constantly saying hi to each other. Also, can you be more specific about what you mean by "quirky"? I'd ask the same of other posters here. The quoted poster above who talks about "quirkies" and "normal" kids sounds mean and narrow-minded. That's definitely not cool at SLACs, BTW.

Honestly, I don't even know what quirky means and can only assume. The counselor used that word. My own DD may be quirky because most kids her age love parties and she hates them. I feel like the counselor doesn't really know her. Maybe she assumes she isn't quirky because all she knows for sure is that my DD is friendly, well liked, and plays multiple sports (no interest in playing in college - she could certainly do D3 in all her sports), not into the arts and that she is AA. When I think quirky I think the artsy type that are always on the picket line protesting, raising there voices, etc. So in that regard - My DD is NOT.

Maybe it would be helpful to start by describing these students as kids who are into arts and political activism; rather than "quirky" kids, which is kind of generic and mean. At most SLACs you'll find students who fit that description, as well as students who, like your DD, are into sports -- whether or not they're varsity athletes or play on a club team or just enjoy watching sports. You'll also find kids who like parties as well as others, like your DD, who don't. So, the question is whether your DD, whom you describe as friendly and well-liked, enjoys being around people who aren't like her or whether she wants to hang with people who are more like her.

[Anonymous]

Interesting. Your view of quirky is very different from mine, which kind of shows how useless the counselor's comment was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

Hmmm . . . OP, I went to a SLAC, as did my husband, as did five of our sibs and their spouses, and as did/do two of my kids and four of my nephews and nieces (in all, we have attended five of the NESCAC schools). The observation regarding students not speaking to each other sounds very off. Honestly, when I have visited my kids and their cousins on campus, you can hardly have a conversation because they kids are constantly saying hi to each other. Also, can you be more specific about what you mean by "quirky"? I'd ask the same of other posters here. The quoted poster above who talks about "quirkies" and "normal" kids sounds mean and narrow-minded. That's definitely not cool at SLACs, BTW.

Honestly, I don't even know what quirky means and can only assume. The counselor used that word. My own DD may be quirky because most kids her age love parties and she hates them. I feel like the counselor doesn't really know her. Maybe she assumes she isn't quirky because all she knows for sure is that my DD is friendly, well liked, and plays multiple sports (no interest in playing in college - she could certainly do D3 in all her sports), not into the arts and that she is AA. When I think quirky I think the artsy type that are always on the picket line protesting, raising there voices, etc. So in that regard - My DD is NOT.

Maybe it would be helpful to start by describing these students as kids who are into arts and political activism; rather than "quirky" kids, which is kind of generic and mean. At most SLACs you'll find students who fit that description, as well as students who, like your DD, are into sports -- whether or not they're varsity athletes or play on a club team or just enjoy watching sports. You'll also find kids who like parties as well as others, like your DD, who don't. So, the question is whether your DD, whom you describe as friendly and well-liked, enjoys being around people who aren't like her or whether she wants to hang with people who are more like her.

Excellent point. I would consider her slightly conservative and I HATE IT so much, but she does like to have discussions with total opposites. Like I said, I do not know what quirky means and the counselor said it and it made my DD feel like there must be something between the lines. She seems to think the counselor is great and has her best interest in mind. Maybe she means it will be too much work and she wouldn't be able to handle it? Although, she is a great hard working student, so who knows. I am getting mad she said quirky. At her HS quirky are the book worms, kids into coding who barely have social skills. I think it is just a way to get my DD to not look at certain schools. But, why? Every other school DD mentioned she gave her a reason why it would be great or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

I honestly cannot imagine why anyone would consider that weird. It sounds dime-a-dozen, and I don't mean that in a derogatory way -- just one of the average kids you see around the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of quirky are you guys talking about here?