If kid isn't quirky will she fit in at a liberal arts college?

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness you’re getting bad advice. Bates is definitely preppy, Williams probably too. Spend some time on Niche reading reviews of what people like and dislike and that should help you. There are tons of small LACs out there, plenty of good choices for a middle of the road kid.

[Anonymous]

Try Barnard. -Barnard alumna.

[Anonymous]

Would someone please explain to me what a quirky kid is? I have come to loath that word and I don't even know for certain what it means - probably because many who use it don't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would someone please explain to me what a quirky kid is? I have come to loath that word and I don't even know for certain what it means - probably because many who use it don't either.

I'm pretty sure it's some kind of code word/dogwhistle insult. Which, if you need to insult other kids to feel good about your own, fair enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would someone please explain to me what a quirky kid is? I have come to loath that word and I don't even know for certain what it means - probably because many who use it don't either.

Totally agree. Ditto "preppy", which can mean so many different things. And which can also mean "quirky" depending on how the speaker/writer defines that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The quirkies need normal friends who can sustain a conversation with eye contact and don't have blue hair. She'll be fine.

LOL. Original poster here. Honestly, that is my impression. A family member lives near one of the campuses and often (pre-covid) did her running/exercising on the campus. She said she found it odd that students didn't speak to one another or a nod/smile when walking by each other. My DD is outgoing and has been around many different types since Kindergarten. Always friendly with everyone but I feel like she doesn't have any BFF's. She gets invited to the nerd parties and the popular kids parties but doesn't go to any! It doesn't seem to phase her.
She does like interacting with teachers and it seems you really get that at the LAC's. I just don't want her to have NO friends. They may think she is weird because she is black, urban, middle class and outgoing. It is ultimately her choice and hopefully, she can spend time on campuses in the Fall.

Hmmm . . . OP, I went to a SLAC, as did my husband, as did five of our sibs and their spouses, and as did/do two of my kids and four of my nephews and nieces (in all, we have attended five of the NESCAC schools). The observation regarding students not speaking to each other sounds very off. Honestly, when I have visited my kids and their cousins on campus, you can hardly have a conversation because they kids are constantly saying hi to each other. Also, can you be more specific about what you mean by "quirky"? I'd ask the same of other posters here. The quoted poster above who talks about "quirkies" and "normal" kids sounds mean and narrow-minded. That's definitely not cool at SLACs, BTW.

Honestly, I don't even know what quirky means and can only assume. The counselor used that word. My own DD may be quirky because most kids her age love parties and she hates them. I feel like the counselor doesn't really know her. Maybe she assumes she isn't quirky because all she knows for sure is that my DD is friendly, well liked, and plays multiple sports (no interest in playing in college - she could certainly do D3 in all her sports), not into the arts and that she is AA. When I think quirky I think the artsy type that are always on the picket line protesting, raising there voices, etc. So in that regard - My DD is NOT.

Maybe it would be helpful to start by describing these students as kids who are into arts and political activism; rather than "quirky" kids, which is kind of generic and mean. At most SLACs you'll find students who fit that description, as well as students who, like your DD, are into sports -- whether or not they're varsity athletes or play on a club team or just enjoy watching sports. You'll also find kids who like parties as well as others, like your DD, who don't. So, the question is whether your DD, whom you describe as friendly and well-liked, enjoys being around people who aren't like her or whether she wants to hang with people who are more like her.

Excellent point. I would consider her slightly conservative and I HATE IT so much, but she does like to have discussions with total opposites. Like I said, I do not know what quirky means and the counselor said it and it made my DD feel like there must be something between the lines. She seems to think the counselor is great and has her best interest in mind. Maybe she means it will be too much work and she wouldn't be able to handle it? Although, she is a great hard working student, so who knows. I am getting mad she said quirky. At her HS quirky are the book worms, kids into coding who barely have socia

I think it is just a way to get my DD to not look at certain schools. But, why? Every other school DD mentioned she gave her a reason why it would be great or not.

How about not using the word quirky to describe your DD's classmates? So, for example, you could just say that some kids in your DD's class really love to read, rather than describing them as "book worms," which sounds kind of unappealing and mean, don't you think? After all, you don't want your DD to be labeled, so try to refrain from labeling other kids too. As for your DD's "slight" conservatism, that's pretty familiar to me since my DS was also the kid who was unafraid to raise an alternative perspective. (Of course, some people would argue that makes him "quirky".) As for your DD's counselor, if s/he throws around the word "quirky", I'd ask what s/he means by that and why your DD wouldn't fit at a school with many "quirky" kids. All the kids think the counselors have their best interests in mind and that's a lovely, optimistic way of looking at the relationship. But it doesn't mean that you don't ask questions or clarify who your DD is to the counselor who barely knows her. I speak from experience here.

[Anonymous]

Quirky according to Urban Dictionary:

Unconventional, surprising, odd

Having a peculiar character. Standing out from the crowd for the sake of it.

Always eating burgers upside down.

Different...in a good way.

A quirky person is kind of like Phoebe on Friends.

Someone who thinks they’re doing something special and DiFfErEnT but in reality they are just annoying.

Something that is strange/not normal, but cool!

Something that is cool, but is not said to be cool because that would be uncool, and to call yourself uncool would also be uncool, but being uncool in a cool way would be quirky.

[Anonymous]

Quirky on these threads either means non-conformist or on the autism spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quirky on these threads either means non-conformist or on the autism spectrum.

Yes - that’s how these threads define “quirky”. It’s not about liberal/conservative or activism. If anything, deep interest in politics isn’t stereotypically quirky at all - that’s considered a “normal” socially acceptable passion. I hate painting with a broad brush, but quirky in the context here would be the kids on, say, Stranger Things - smart but socially awkward, into Dungeons and Dragons and anime as opposed to sports, little interest in parties, etc.

I actually understand the OP’s overarching concern in the sense that a SLAC with a defined quirky personality might be more difficult for a “normal” (whatever that means) person in a place that has fewer students than a typical large metro suburban high school. That being said, a place like Williams doesn’t fit the quirky archetype - I’m not sure where anyone got that idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quirky on these threads either means non-conformist or on the autism spectrum.

+1. And I have an Aspie. I went to a SLAC. I’m not quirky and I don’t recall many who were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter likes the small liberal arts colleges, mostly because of the smaller size and she wants to study economics. When she told the college counselor of a few (Williams, Bates, Haverford) the counselor said, "Oh no, you won't fit in at any of them". My impression is that liberal art colleges tend to have quirky kids. My DD is outgoing, sporty and smart. Will she be a total outcast? Unfortunately, she hasn't been on any of the campuses yet because of Covid. We will take a look, hopefully in the fall.

She should apply to Wellesley. For one, Wellesley has one of the best undergraduate econ departments in the U.S., and women who major in Econ at Wellesley are amongst the most successful women in the field. For another, Wellesley recruits true scholar-athletes. Some will also be quirky, but many others will not be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you both!! She goes to a DC private but not conservative. She tends to be more conservative then most at her school. I was so mad when the counselor said that to her. Like, let her decide!!! She isn't going to like a big party/Greek life SEC school. I'm thinking the counselor assumes certain things because my DD is AA. Odd....

What about an HBCU? Quirky woman here who found a small group of friends at an HBCU. Check out Spelman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter likes the small liberal arts colleges, mostly because of the smaller size and she wants to study economics. When she told the college counselor of a few (Williams, Bates, Haverford) the counselor said, "Oh no, you won't fit in at any of them". My impression is that liberal art colleges tend to have quirky kids. My DD is outgoing, sporty and smart. Will she be a total outcast? Unfortunately, she hasn't been on any of the campuses yet because of Covid. We will take a look, hopefully in the fall.

If your daughter is all that than she will fit in. Quirky doesn't mean MEAN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quirky on these threads either means non-conformist or on the autism spectrum.

Yes - that’s how these threads define “quirky”. It’s not about liberal/conservative or activism. If anything, deep interest in politics isn’t stereotypically quirky at all - that’s considered a “normal” socially acceptable passion. I hate painting with a broad brush, but[/b] quirky in the context here would be the kids on, say, Stranger Things - smart but socially awkward, into Dungeons and Dragons and anime as opposed to sports, little interest in parties, etc.[b]

I actually understand the OP’s overarching concern in the sense that a SLAC with a defined quirky personality might be more difficult for a “normal” (whatever that means) person in a place that has fewer students than a typical large metro suburban high school. That being said, a place like Williams doesn’t fit the quirky archetype - I’m not sure where anyone got that idea.

The thing is most actual human beings -- as opposed to characters on Stranger Things -- aren't necessarily one or the other. For example, OP describes her DD as sporty (though not interested in playing sports in college) and having little interest in parties. I went to Williams and played a varsity sport there. Yes, there were many "sporty" people, but there were also people who didn't play sports (either varsity or club). And some of the people who didn't play sports were really keen observers and enthusiastic fans. And, while almost everyone was friendly, some people liked parties and others did not. One of the best things about going to a SLAC is that the small size makes it possible to get to know people as individuals, rather than prejudging them and fixating on ill-defined and limiting stereotypes.

[Anonymous]

Quirky = interesting
Preppy = dull