Badly Behaved Coaches

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much of ire on here is, rightly, focused on *some* parents of kids in travel soccer. We just played Great Fall Reston 2011 B team and watched their coach scream at and demean a bunch of 9 year old kids for a full hour. Some raw talent on that team but the coach is clearly “going through some things”. Referee had a few eye-rolls and choice comments to parents on the side-line but effectively no oversight on professionalism of coaches - other than parents. Screamed at every kid on his team, some of our team, and the ref, not a single positive or constructive comment all game. We tied them due to two dumb mistakes on their part, but no wonder given the pressure. We’d bail on a coach like that - and feel fortunate with our set-up - but makes you reflect how much latitude we are giving these adults to exhibit behavior with children that would be totally unacceptable in any other context.

Frist, there is no "raw" talent in a nine year old. OMG just stop.

Second, no you would not bail LOL

Third, 9 year old's do not make dumb mistakes in soccer

Fourth you are ridiculous and I feel bad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

Youre the type of parent that would confront the parents when their child beats up your kid in a fistfight . but would be highly offended if a parent confronted you because your kids poor play lost the game for the team. Your kid isn't the special darling prodigy you believe he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

Then stop putting them in competitive environments and not expecting the to compete. Keep them in recreational environments simple concept..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much of ire on here is, rightly, focused on *some* parents of kids in travel soccer. We just played Great Fall Reston 2011 B team and watched their coach scream at and demean a bunch of 9 year old kids for a full hour. Some raw talent on that team but the coach is clearly “going through some things”. Referee had a few eye-rolls and choice comments to parents on the side-line but effectively no oversight on professionalism of coaches - other than parents. Screamed at every kid on his team, some of our team, and the ref, not a single positive or constructive comment all game. We tied them due to two dumb mistakes on their part, but no wonder given the pressure. We’d bail on a coach like that - and feel fortunate with our set-up - but makes you reflect how much latitude we are giving these adults to exhibit behavior with children that would be totally unacceptable in any other context.

Frist, there is no "raw" talent in a nine year old. OMG just stop.

Second, no you would not bail LOL

Third, 9 year old's do not make dumb mistakes in soccer

Fourth you are ridiculous and I feel bad for your kids.

Many kids are placed in the wrong sports setting because the parents get it wrong not because the expectations of the sports are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

Exactly!! +1000.

Yelling & screaming at 9/10 year olds is child abuse. There’s can be NO reason why coaches need to yell/scream at kids especially at this age. Winning a U10 soccer game is not important enough to abuse kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

Exactly!! +1000.

Yelling & screaming at 9/10 year olds is child abuse. There’s can be NO reason why coaches need to yell/scream at kids especially at this age. Winning a U10 soccer game is not important enough to abuse kids.

And that right there my friends is why the current and future generations are doomed. Please go take your less talented kid who is too soft to be told he did anything wrong and kick rocks. If raising your voice to yell is abuse you have lived the most sheltered life ever. Dont be a part of a competitive athletic environment and expect to change it make your little sissy feel they are always right even when they fail.

[Anonymous]

And then you wonder why a Ronaldo will never come from a US soccer system.

The 'little bee' who always cried - the story of young Ronaldo’s path to greatness

It's literally hilarious. Keep making those robots!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

Exactly!! +1000.

Yelling & screaming at 9/10 year olds is child abuse. There’s can be NO reason why coaches need to yell/scream at kids especially at this age. Winning a U10 soccer game is not important enough to abuse kids.

And that right there my friends is why the current and future generations are doomed. Please go take your less talented kid who is too soft to be told he did anything wrong and kick rocks. If raising your voice to yell is abuse you have lived the most sheltered life ever. Dont be a part of a competitive athletic environment and expect to change it make your little sissy feel they are always right even when they fail.

It seems to work out great for that club, just look at all of the competitive teams that they field accords age groups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much of ire on here is, rightly, focused on *some* parents of kids in travel soccer. We just played Great Fall Reston 2011 B team and watched their coach scream at and demean a bunch of 9 year old kids for a full hour. Some raw talent on that team but the coach is clearly “going through some things”. Referee had a few eye-rolls and choice comments to parents on the side-line but effectively no oversight on professionalism of coaches - other than parents. Screamed at every kid on his team, some of our team, and the ref, not a single positive or constructive comment all game. We tied them due to two dumb mistakes on their part, but no wonder given the pressure. We’d bail on a coach like that - and feel fortunate with our set-up - but makes you reflect how much latitude we are giving these adults to exhibit behavior with children that would be totally unacceptable in any other context.

Frist, there is no "raw" talent in a nine year old. OMG just stop.

Second, no you would not bail LOL

Third, 9 year old's do not make dumb mistakes in soccer

Fourth you are ridiculous and I feel bad for your kids.

Many kids are placed in the wrong sports setting because the parents get it wrong not because the expectations of the sports are wrong.

+1 million The most true statement ever said on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree he's a wack job but at the same time we baby and protect our kids way to much. To say your kid would have been yanked after the first game doesn't say too much about you either. Not defending the coach all. Just making the statement that parents are wrong for always creating a safe bubble around they're kids not allowing them to experience the real world either. Again not to this extreme explained here but Please parents let the coach yell at your kids sometimes with emotion. Its a life skill they need to be coachable in many different life situations To tell them they are only doing a good job or always quietly explaining the things they didn't correct isn't always a correct way to deal with it either. I see too many parents feeling its not OK for a coach to yelll at their kid in front of other parents and players because they and their kid will be embarrassed. News flash for everyone whether your kid is the worst player on the field or the best on the field when they screw up its OK for the coach to show a variety of emotional with them. Anger and disappointment is just as good for the kid as positivity and praise are. Please stop the over protecting bubble like world you're keeping your kid in. Youre only screwing them up for later in life when they see the real world doesn't work like that.

Common now. Coaches shouldn’t need to yell whether it’s in front of anyone or not. There are much better and more effective ways to communicate than yelling. It’s not parents over-protecting their kids if a full grown adult man is yelling/screaming at their DC 10 year old DC.

Again stop being so over protective with the kids. Yelling at and telling them they are wrong in front of other is a teaching point to get through to everyone. Everyone can learn from Johnnys mistake including Johnny. Travel soccer is becoming an over priced rec environment. Travel is supposed to be a competitive thing not just to play and have fun. Its a different set of goals. True competitive sports are being watered down because of business. More and more you can buy your way into the environment. It used to be the only kids playing in these environment were the kids who were more talented and more competitive. They would have tryouts and select the few that deserved to make it. Now we have so many opportunities and so many clubs anyone who wants to play can. Its really watered down the the competitive aspect. Its sad when a player or coach who are actually wired like true athletes are (most won't understand that) are being out numbered by families who just want their DC to be included rather than earn their spot.

Stop thinking that they are little adults and at this age it is a game, meant to be fun and enjoyed. Coaching is to guide and teach without a primary focus being on the competition per say.

It is inappropriate at such young ages, and yes, they are young at 9 friggin years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid were on such a team, I’d complain to the director of the club. If it weren’t corrected, we’d find another club.

How about your kid gives 100% and if its not good enough so be it. Dont lower the standard to make it appear your kid is actually successful if they are truly not.

Are you a child? Or one of these coaches? Or THAT coach??? The OP was commenting on a coach displaying unprofessional behavior with ALL his team, the other team and the referee. Why do you keep trying to make this about one persons kid who isn’t trying or good enough? That’s deflection. This is a thread about coaches who are making the grade, not kids.

The fact is the new normal is to lower the expectation of athletes. Make it seem that its just a game that everyone can play together and the worst kid belongs on the field with the best kid. That everyone did a good job. We all know thats living a lie. We need a thread about parents who raise snowflakes and are are given an award for failure in the particular activity they chose to compete in.

this thread was started about a U10 coach from a middling club. How about we recognize that 9 year olds aren't athletes, they are 9 year olds

Exactly!! +1000.

Yelling & screaming at 9/10 year olds is child abuse. There’s can be NO reason why coaches need to yell/scream at kids especially at this age. Winning a U10 soccer game is not important enough to abuse kids.

And that right there my friends is why the current and future generations are doomed. Please go take your less talented kid who is too soft to be told he did anything wrong and kick rocks. If raising your voice to yell is abuse you have lived the most sheltered life ever. Dont be a part of a competitive athletic environment and expect to change it make your little sissy feel they are always right even when they fail.

LOL, I don't think you realize this, but your insecurity is showing. A lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree he's a wack job but at the same time we baby and protect our kids way to much. To say your kid would have been yanked after the first game doesn't say too much about you either. Not defending the coach all. Just making the statement that parents are wrong for always creating a safe bubble around they're kids not allowing them to experience the real world either. Again not to this extreme explained here but Please parents let the coach yell at your kids sometimes with emotion. Its a life skill they need to be coachable in many different life situations To tell them they are only doing a good job or always quietly explaining the things they didn't correct isn't always a correct way to deal with it either. I see too many parents feeling its not OK for a coach to yelll at their kid in front of other parents and players because they and their kid will be embarrassed. News flash for everyone whether your kid is the worst player on the field or the best on the field when they screw up its OK for the coach to show a variety of emotional with them. Anger and disappointment is just as good for the kid as positivity and praise are. Please stop the over protecting bubble like world you're keeping your kid in. Youre only screwing them up for later in life when they see the real world doesn't work like that.

Common now. Coaches shouldn’t need to yell whether it’s in front of anyone or not. There are much better and more effective ways to communicate than yelling. It’s not parents over-protecting their kids if a full grown adult man is yelling/screaming at their DC 10 year old DC.

Again stop being so over protective with the kids. Yelling at and telling them they are wrong in front of other is a teaching point to get through to everyone. Everyone can learn from Johnnys mistake including Johnny. Travel soccer is becoming an over priced rec environment. Travel is supposed to be a competitive thing not just to play and have fun. Its a different set of goals. True competitive sports are being watered down because of business. More and more you can buy your way into the environment. It used to be the only kids playing in these environment were the kids who were more talented and more competitive. They would have tryouts and select the few that deserved to make it. Now we have so many opportunities and so many clubs anyone who wants to play can. Its really watered down the the competitive aspect. Its sad when a player or coach who are actually wired like true athletes are (most won't understand that) are being out numbered by families who just want their DC to be included rather than earn their spot.

Stop thinking that they are little adults and at this age it is a game, meant to be fun and enjoyed. Coaching is to guide and teach without a primary focus being on the competition per say.

It is inappropriate at such young ages, and yes, they are young at 9 friggin years old.

Then if as a parent you feel that way put your kid in a recreational environment. Its your choice. You cant expect the sport to adapt to your expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like a wider problem in society (no shame or self-reflection/regulation of “bad behavior”) - maybe just enriched in certain kids sports. Like everything else - vote with your wallet. Let the club know you are switching because of a toxic coach/culture that is not healthy for child role modeling and development.

Indeed. But many families cannot afford to pay twice in the same year, so this often has to wait until the end of the year when, in many cases, the coach changes so the kid stays at the club. And parents are reluctant to complain before that in case their kid suffers as a result. I do think in the end these coaches get washed out as kids and parents do leave - but it usually takes a few years and they end up just bouncing to another club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny thread. 9 out 10 College Soccer coaches are verbally abusive. My advise to you is if you have an elite player, desensitize them early. Kids needs to learn to take criticism otherwise it's going to be that much harder to be succesful.

If your child is playing for fun and does not have aspirations of playing at the college level or higher, move clubs and keep it fun.

Taking a fun game at 9 years old and reducing it to an adult yelling at them on top of parents on the sideline doing the same thing is sure way to take a fun activity, even for kids with promise and turning it into a job.

Who would look forward to that ever? The kids will care about winning soon enough. Yelling at them over their mistakes will not make them more competitive but it will make many tentative and many more quite by 13.

The numbers are overwhelming in regards to the number of kids who walk away from the sport at a very young age. Kids who quit before they even hit puberty and the overall reason is a resounding because "it isn't fun anymore". Now you can say they are weak willed or soft or whatever but they are 9 years old. They are told to play soccer because it is fun and when they get there the adults they trust mostly yell at them either over a mistake or yell at them to do something that the adult wants them to do. And for what? To win a game at 9 years old?