Bridal party conundrum- please help!
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Anonymous
Yup! |
Anonymous
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Just curious what it would cost you to include the SIL you don’t like? She’s your brother’s wife - the brother you are including and are close to. You don’t have to love her but he does. She’s in your family, for better or for worse.
I’m not saying this isn’t your “big day” and that it shouldn’t reflect what’s special to you and your fiancé; I understand that you don’t want stress or negativity up there with you. That being said, people want to curate perfection on their wedding day but this is really just such a small part of your life together. Think of it as a kindness to your brother (did you really not think he’s be impacted?). I agree with PPs - both or neither. It really shouldn’t even be a question. |
Anonymous
+1 you’re too old for the twenty something “look at all my friends!!” parade. Your brothers and bff are enough. |
Anonymous
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Include both. Or ask SIL to do a reading. What does your brother (SIL's husband) think? He might tell you don't ask her, she doesn't want to do it, or tell you that she would like to be included.
You will never regret being inclusive. |
Anonymous
| It is really not worth the drama to exclude one SIL. That is a terrible idea. |
Anonymous
| You need to include both SIL. I had two bridesmaids DH had 6. Doesn’t have it be even. |
Anonymous
| Don't bother getting married at all. With your selfish attitude you'll be divorced soon enough anyway. |
Anonymous
| OP, I actually lived this. I included both )p(I half expected the one SIL would decline, but she accepted because that way she was with my brother the whole day doing bridal party stuff.). In hindsight, I wish I’d opted to leave them both out to keep the overall party size smaller, but it would have been bad to take one and leave out one. I’d suggest just doing your brothers, and barring that, including both. Do it for your relationship with your brother, not her. |
Anonymous
| I don't even know how this is a question. |
Anonymous
Do you think a man would care about being excluded? It's immature to harbor grudges over being not included when it's the person's own event. The concerns about SIL and her brother breaking away from the family are just overblown. |
Anonymous
| What about making the twins, groomsmen, so you'll have Best Man-2 Groomsmen, then MOH-2 bridesmaids. |
Anonymous
It’s not so much about holding grudges, but if I were the only family member excluded from a wedding party where all the other siblings/in-laws were included it would definitely make me feel like somewhat of an outcast and probably less inclined to prioritize spending future vacation time with them compared with people with whom I feel more welcomed and included. Since women tend to drive the social calendar for families it realistically is likely to result in brother also spending less time with the family. |
Anonymous
And it's a very public thing. It's humiliating to be excluded like that. |
Anonymous
| It’s disingenuous to invite someone to be in your bridal party when you don’t care for them and yet say you want them by your side. It’s not Called a command performance for nothing. |
Anonymous
| I would simplify and just have a Maid of Honor & Best Man. Maybe have the twins be ushers. |