Men - what’s something you’d like your partner to do?

[Anonymous]

Before I start, let me say that her drive, what she’s accomplished in life and the amount of things she gets done on a regular basis are all impressive and I have a ton of respect for her.

With that said, I would like her to maybe say one positive thing to me and our son per day. Every interaction doesn’t need to be “constructive feedback”. I’d ask that she approaches daily situations with an appropriate level of intensity - not every daily event needs to be turned up to 11. Its stressful and not good for our marriage or our son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress up! Sexcretary!

Seriously?!?! I’d feel like an idiot doing this. I thought this was only something in porn. Do real couples do this?

Yes.

Why would someone select this emoji to describe a feeling? Confused.

[Anonymous]

for my DW to wear lingerie more than 1x per year, and leave the lights on so I can actually enjoy the visual of her how unbelievably hot and sexy she looks (and is). and yes, I've told her this (the compliment) repeatedly over the years and after 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:for my DW to wear lingerie more than 1x per year, and leave the lights on so I can actually enjoy the visual of her how unbelievably hot and sexy she looks (and is). and yes, I've told her this (the compliment) repeatedly over the years and after 3 kids.

Lingerie feels so silly. Does your wife even feel sexy in it? It’s not going to have the effect that you’d like. I imagine you’d like her to wear it and feel good in it. If she doesn’t like it and doesn’t think she looks good in it (lights off), even if she puts it on isn’t not like she will strut around the room in it. My DH asks for this sometimes too - but with more of a dance/-act with it. I don’t do it, because I feel ridiculous. I’m not a stripper for a reason. It feels so humiliating to me.

[Anonymous]

It’s different for all men, but what my husband would say (and has said) is make his life easier in some way. He really appreciates it when I anticipate when he is going to want tea and I make it for him when he is in a work crunch, or when I offer to do a home task that has been in his list but he hasn’t been able to get around to, just little thoughtful things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for my DW to wear lingerie more than 1x per year, and leave the lights on so I can actually enjoy the visual of her how unbelievably hot and sexy she looks (and is). and yes, I've told her this (the compliment) repeatedly over the years and after 3 kids.

Lingerie feels so silly. Does your wife even feel sexy in it? It’s not going to have the effect that you’d like. I imagine you’d like her to wear it and feel good in it. If she doesn’t like it and doesn’t think she looks good in it (lights off), even if she puts it on isn’t not like she will strut around the room in it. My DH asks for this sometimes too - but with more of a dance/-act with it. I don’t do it, because I feel ridiculous. I’m not a stripper for a reason. It feels so humiliating to me.

It doesn’t feel humiliating to be but I can see why it would make you feel that way, and it definitely does feel silly! I haven’t danced in a club for years and wearing lingerie feels both awkward and more vulnerable that I’m comfortable with. Luckily my DH doesn’t want me to do something I’m not into. There are so many ways to have fun and enjoy each other that don’t involve making myself feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I start, let me say that her drive, what she’s accomplished in life and the amount of things she gets done on a regular basis are all impressive and I have a ton of respect for her.

With that said, I would like her to maybe say one positive thing to me and our son per day. Every interaction doesn’t need to be “constructive feedback”. I’d ask that she approaches daily situations with an appropriate level of intensity - not every daily event needs to be turned up to 11. Its stressful and not good for our marriage or our son.

Wife here. I don’t do this often but I think it’s a totally reasonable ask and a good reminder for me! I get like this when I don’t take the time to de-stress and that’s no good for anybody.

[Anonymous]

Want to have sex more than a few times a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I start, let me say that her drive, what she’s accomplished in life and the amount of things she gets done on a regular basis are all impressive and I have a ton of respect for her.

With that said, I would like her to maybe say one positive thing to me and our son per day. Every interaction doesn’t need to be “constructive feedback”. I’d ask that she approaches daily situations with an appropriate level of intensity - not every daily event needs to be turned up to 11. Its stressful and not good for our marriage or our son.

Actually, this is achievable if approached in the right way. Don't just complain away on a board until your frustration level reaches boiling point. Find a way to communicate to her (may take more than 1 discussion).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress up! Sexcretary!

Seriously?!?! I’d feel like an idiot doing this. I thought this was only something in porn. Do real couples do this?

My ex wife used to dress up as a school girl with the skirt and glasses etc. also prostate massages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for my DW to wear lingerie more than 1x per year, and leave the lights on so I can actually enjoy the visual of her how unbelievably hot and sexy she looks (and is). and yes, I've told her this (the compliment) repeatedly over the years and after 3 kids.

Lingerie feels so silly. Does your wife even feel sexy in it? It’s not going to have the effect that you’d like. I imagine you’d like her to wear it and feel good in it. If she doesn’t like it and doesn’t think she looks good in it (lights off), even if she puts it on isn’t not like she will strut around the room in it. My DH asks for this sometimes too - but with more of a dance/-act with it. I don’t do it, because I feel ridiculous. I’m not a stripper for a reason. It feels so humiliating to me.

she has 2 drawers full of different lingerie that mostly she has bought herself over 23+ years together. she packs it when we go on vacation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for my DW to wear lingerie more than 1x per year, and leave the lights on so I can actually enjoy the visual of her how unbelievably hot and sexy she looks (and is). and yes, I've told her this (the compliment) repeatedly over the years and after 3 kids.

Lingerie feels so silly. Does your wife even feel sexy in it? It’s not going to have the effect that you’d like. I imagine you’d like her to wear it and feel good in it. If she doesn’t like it and doesn’t think she looks good in it (lights off), even if she puts it on isn’t not like she will strut around the room in it. My DH asks for this sometimes too - but with more of a dance/-act with it. I don’t do it, because I feel ridiculous. I’m not a stripper for a reason. It feels so humiliating to me.

she has 2 drawers full of different lingerie that mostly she has bought herself over 23+ years together. she packs it when we go on vacation too.

If she has it in the drawers, but isn’t wearing it, then she doesn’t like wearing it any more. Women’s bodies change after childbirth. It can be hard to feel confident. If she wears it, but not for you, then she doesn’t want to have sex with you when she’s wearing it. Wearing sexy under clothes and intentionally undressing in another room is her trying to hide so you don’t initiate and paw at her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I start, let me say that her drive, what she’s accomplished in life and the amount of things she gets done on a regular basis are all impressive and I have a ton of respect for her.

With that said, I would like her to maybe say one positive thing to me and our son per day. Every interaction doesn’t need to be “constructive feedback”. I’d ask that she approaches daily situations with an appropriate level of intensity - not every daily event needs to be turned up to 11. Its stressful and not good for our marriage or our son.

Actually, this is achievable if approached in the right way. Don't just complain away on a board until your frustration level reaches boiling point. Find a way to communicate to her (may take more than 1 discussion).

Lol. Like I hadn’t considered that first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Before I start, let me say that her drive, what she’s accomplished in life and the amount of things she gets done on a regular basis are all impressive and I have a ton of respect for her.

With that said, I would like her to maybe say one positive thing to me and our son per day. Every interaction doesn’t need to be “constructive feedback”. I’d ask that she approaches daily situations with an appropriate level of intensity - not every daily event needs to be turned up to 11. Its stressful and not good for our marriage or our son.

Actually, this is achievable if approached in the right way. Don't just complain away on a board until your frustration level reaches boiling point. Find a way to communicate to her (may take more than 1 discussion).

Lol. Like I hadn’t considered that first.

PP here. I apologize - I didn’t mean to make this sound snarky. I’ve definitely tried approaching this different ways over the years. Its tough and I haven’t gotten her to make any changes. She’s just always on 11 and disagreeing with her on anything turns into a massive argument where my son and I get completely runover and don’t even get to have our concerns heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress up! Sexcretary!

Seriously?!?! I’d feel like an idiot doing this. I thought this was only something in porn. Do real couples do this?

My ex wife used to dress up as a school girl with the skirt and glasses etc. also prostate massages.

My husband likes a derivitative of this but in adult form, e.g. sexy librarian.