S/O--Should the married men apologize to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would love to see guys get outed by name for their predatory dishonest bs!!!! Sounds like an ap that would make a tone of money!

Will they out the cheating women too?????

There is a website that women can out the other woman.

Shesahomewrecker.com

It’s legal too.

[Anonymous]

You want an apology from a guy with not much going on in the morality department.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want an apology from a guy with not much going on in the morality department.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was single, and when I was married, I knew the line of what was I appropriate. I would intentionally shut it down and usually redirect to a conversation about their wife or children.

That said there are some very manipulative snakes out there - I don’t think it is wrong to want a snake to apologize for every person s/he poisoned. I also don’t think it is something to truly expect from a snake.

And yes, women cheat as often as men, but that is so irrelevant I’m tired of people nitpicking over it. Cheating is an issue of morality; what that looks like and whether it is a forgivable sin varies person to person.

I’ve thought a lot about this. My ex husband cheated on me often. It didn’t really bother me. Another LTR I am 97% confident that he was faithful, because he was brutally honest, I knew him well, and I knew how to keep him satisfied. If that person would have cheated, I would have forgiven them. They were so clear about their sexual needs that it was like I was brainwashed to think desiring variety didn’t interfere with our love and friendship. The partner I have now, if he were cheating I would never, ever, ever forgive him. Ever. He and I have been through too much and deceiving me in any way would bring the most painful of all curses upon his life if he dogged me out, I wouldn’t even risk being near him for the universal wrath that would be trickled over his life.

I think my correlation around tolerance for disloyalty was closely associated with my level of insecurity. As I became more secure in myself as a person and grew from unhealthy mindsets, I raised expectations for those around me too. I attracted people that were on my level and they became attractive to me. While I am firmly against infidelity, I’ve seen a lot of sides of it so tend to be far less harsh and condemning in my judgment in circumstances where people are struggling (or exploiting it).

That's a whole lot of crazy, trauma and dysfunction packed in that paragraph.

I am glad to see you have grown to expect more for yourself and not tolerate people disrespecting you. A lot of us were lucky enough to grow up in a home that fostered that so NEVER had a time (even with boyfriends in teen years) where we tolerated lying and cheating from a guy.

You’re right. It was crazy. In hindsight is is very sad. But hopefully I’ve broken the mold of dysfunction. I’m thankful that I was able to address these issues in my youth so they didn’t cement themselves into carryover to my children or through mid life and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

When I was married I didn't cheat on work trips. And I was flirted with a number of times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was single, and when I was married, I knew the line of what was I appropriate. I would intentionally shut it down and usually redirect to a conversation about their wife or children.

That said there are some very manipulative snakes out there - I don’t think it is wrong to want a snake to apologize for every person s/he poisoned. I also don’t think it is something to truly expect from a snake.

And yes, women cheat as often as men, but that is so irrelevant I’m tired of people nitpicking over it. Cheating is an issue of morality; what that looks like and whether it is a forgivable sin varies person to person.

I’ve thought a lot about this. My ex husband cheated on me often. It didn’t really bother me. Another LTR I am 97% confident that he was faithful, because he was brutally honest, I knew him well, and I knew how to keep him satisfied. If that person would have cheated, I would have forgiven them. They were so clear about their sexual needs that it was like I was brainwashed to think desiring variety didn’t interfere with our love and friendship. The partner I have now, if he were cheating I would never, ever, ever forgive him. Ever. He and I have been through too much and deceiving me in any way would bring the most painful of all curses upon his life if he dogged me out, I wouldn’t even risk being near him for the universal wrath that would be trickled over his life.

I think my correlation around tolerance for disloyalty was closely associated with my level of insecurity. As I became more secure in myself as a person and grew from unhealthy mindsets, I raised expectations for those around me too. I attracted people that were on my level and they became attractive to me. While I am firmly against infidelity, I’ve seen a lot of sides of it so tend to be far less harsh and condemning in my judgment in circumstances where people are struggling (or exploiting it).

That's a whole lot of crazy, trauma and dysfunction packed in that paragraph.

I am glad to see you have grown to expect more for yourself and not tolerate people disrespecting you. A lot of us were lucky enough to grow up in a home that fostered that so NEVER had a time (even with boyfriends in teen years) where we tolerated lying and cheating from a guy.

You’re right. It was crazy. In hindsight is is very sad. But hopefully I’ve broken the mold of dysfunction. I’m thankful that I was able to address these issues in my youth so they didn’t cement themselves into carryover to my children or through mid life and beyond.

A lot of women with your issues cheat on their spouses. It’s part of the trauma. I hope you got help for the issues that caused your disordered thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

married men remove their rings and log on to the dating sites a few days before they arrive.

[Anonymous]

This is dumb. Next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

married men remove their rings and log on to the dating sites a few days before they arrive. [/quote
... inversely proportional to how much sex they get at home.

[Anonymous]

Nope... In my 20’s, I was pursed by married women all the time. Sure, I slept with them and they tossed me aside. Do I want an apology? No, they had to face their husband knowing they just had their world rocked by a single and younger man. 😈

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

married men remove their rings and log on to the dating sites a few days before they arrive.

Shows how little you know about how things work. I never removed my ring or said I wasn't married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

married men remove their rings and log on to the dating sites a few days before they arrive.

Shows how little you know about how things work. I never removed my ring or said I wasn't married.

+1

Also, I have had so many men--BILs, friends, etc....tell me they got hit on more once they started wearing a ring. I think many women with very low self-esteem raise it by having sex with married men. Like it must mean they are some true prize or jewel to get him to stray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was single, and when I was married, I knew the line of what was I appropriate. I would intentionally shut it down and usually redirect to a conversation about their wife or children.

That said there are some very manipulative snakes out there - I don’t think it is wrong to want a snake to apologize for every person s/he poisoned. I also don’t think it is something to truly expect from a snake.

And yes, women cheat as often as men, but that is so irrelevant I’m tired of people nitpicking over it. Cheating is an issue of morality; what that looks like and whether it is a forgivable sin varies person to person.

I’ve thought a lot about this. My ex husband cheated on me often. It didn’t really bother me. Another LTR I am 97% confident that he was faithful, because he was brutally honest, I knew him well, and I knew how to keep him satisfied. If that person would have cheated, I would have forgiven them. They were so clear about their sexual needs that it was like I was brainwashed to think desiring variety didn’t interfere with our love and friendship. The partner I have now, if he were cheating I would never, ever, ever forgive him. Ever. He and I have been through too much and deceiving me in any way would bring the most painful of all curses upon his life if he dogged me out, I wouldn’t even risk being near him for the universal wrath that would be trickled over his life.

I think my correlation around tolerance for disloyalty was closely associated with my level of insecurity. As I became more secure in myself as a person and grew from unhealthy mindsets, I raised expectations for those around me too. I attracted people that were on my level and they became attractive to me. While I am firmly against infidelity, I’ve seen a lot of sides of it so tend to be far less harsh and condemning in my judgment in circumstances where people are struggling (or exploiting it).

That's a whole lot of crazy, trauma and dysfunction packed in that paragraph.

I am glad to see you have grown to expect more for yourself and not tolerate people disrespecting you. A lot of us were lucky enough to grow up in a home that fostered that so NEVER had a time (even with boyfriends in teen years) where we tolerated lying and cheating from a guy.

You’re right. It was crazy. In hindsight is is very sad. But hopefully I’ve broken the mold of dysfunction. I’m thankful that I was able to address these issues in my youth so they didn’t cement themselves into carryover to my children or through mid life and beyond.

A lot of women with your issues cheat on their spouses. It’s part of the trauma. I hope you got help for the issues that caused your disordered thinking.

Mkay. I’m not a cheater. I was a co-dependent to cheaters. But thanks for your solvent conclusion that certainly could have saved me $20K in therapy with expert practitioners familiar with true trauma. My therapy must be working because I wasn’t too triggered by your casual toss away. You missed a lot of my message.

Or maybe the music I’m listening to is just putting me in a good mood so I don’t care much to correct you
Happy 2021!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is dumb. Next!

This is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ you haven’t been on here long. The vast majority of posters think that screwing married guys is ok. They didn’t take a vow is what they say.

Society. Ugh. It’s bad judgement and poor character to do so.

Anyone that has a husband that travels or works in an office is forewarned...they don’t care he has a ring on. In fact, it’s a challenge.

married men remove their rings and log on to the dating sites a few days before they arrive.

I had a lot more women go after me when I was married + wearing a ring than now that I am divorced, even though I'm in great shape now. There is something called "preselection". Men who already have women are pre-selected by other women for sex. It's why men who bring a wing-girl with them to a bar do better than men who don't have a wing-girl.