Coach Texting Players

[Anonymous]

I coach girls and we text. Then again, they’re in HS so they’re mature.

[Anonymous]

Weighing in as a parent of non-sporty kids, but whose kids were involved in an organization that collapsed after inappropriate adult texting of kids.

It is NEVER who you think it is. I would never, in a million years, have guessed that the predator in my kids' organization was grooming kids.

Parents should be on the text chain. Full stop. If you don't think you need it, take it from me that your "spidey sense" is not as good as you think it is.

[Anonymous]

During the training that coaches receive, they always say that 99% of cases the abuser is someone the kid or family knows, not a random stranger

[Anonymous]

How about be honest with your kids. Tell them trust nobody fully!! Not your coach, teacher, priest , uncle, cousin, neighbor, scout leader. Tell them there are people who have bad intentions and anything outside The parameter you set is wrong and needs to be addressed. As parents we cannot stop the intentions of "predators". However we can prepare our kids by teaching them whats out there and how to avoid and take action if these situations ever occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about be honest with your kids. Tell them trust nobody fully!! Not your coach, teacher, priest , uncle, cousin, neighbor, scout leader. Tell them there are people who have bad intentions and anything outside The parameter you set is wrong and needs to be addressed. As parents we cannot stop the intentions of "predators". However we can prepare our kids by teaching them whats out there and how to avoid and take action if these situations ever occur.

Right. Because kids will speak up against a well liked coach that controls your playing time and risk not playing in college. It’s even harder if a parent likes the Coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about be honest with your kids. Tell them trust nobody fully!! Not your coach, teacher, priest , uncle, cousin, neighbor, scout leader. Tell them there are people who have bad intentions and anything outside The parameter you set is wrong and needs to be addressed. As parents we cannot stop the intentions of "predators". However we can prepare our kids by teaching them whats out there and how to avoid and take action if these situations ever occur.

Right. Because kids will speak up against a well liked coach that controls your playing time and risk not playing in college. It’s even harder if a parent likes the Coach.

Be a better parent bro. Teach your kids right from wrong teach them when they are young they need to speak up against things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about be honest with your kids. Tell them trust nobody fully!! Not your coach, teacher, priest , uncle, cousin, neighbor, scout leader. Tell them there are people who have bad intentions and anything outside The parameter you set is wrong and needs to be addressed. As parents we cannot stop the intentions of "predators". However we can prepare our kids by teaching them whats out there and how to avoid and take action if these situations ever occur.

Right. Because kids will speak up against a well liked coach that controls your playing time and risk not playing in college. It’s even harder if a parent likes the Coach.

Be a better parent bro. Teach your kids right from wrong teach them when they are young they need to speak up against things.

AND have safeguards in place.

We should all expect this of our sport systems (and music, theater, scouts and on and on).

[Anonymous]

I had not considered this (my kid is 9 and does not have a phone), but having read the rule and the explanation, believe coaches should just follow the rule and CC parents on any communications.

The coach should know better.

This coach may be a good guy/gal with great intentions, but normalizing excluding the parent [u]may make it easier for others to abuse/manipulate the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coach girls and we text. Then again, they’re in HS so they’re mature.

If you are for real, you have a bad judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coach girls and we text. Then again, they’re in HS so they’re mature.

If you are for real, you have a bad judgment.

Sure. That’s why they adore me and their parents are switching clubs to join mine.

But go ahead and wear the moral correctness gown, Chad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coach girls and we text. Then again, they’re in HS so they’re mature.

If you are for real, you have a bad judgment.

Sure. That’s why they adore me and their parents are switching clubs to join mine.

But go ahead and wear the moral correctness gown, Chad.

None of that makes it ok, so say US Soccer and you should respect that no matter how innocent it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I coach girls and we text. Then again, they’re in HS so they’re mature.

If you are for real, you have a bad judgment.

Sure. That’s why they adore me and their parents are switching clubs to join mine.

But go ahead and wear the moral correctness gown, Chad.

None of that makes it ok, so say US Soccer and you should respect that no matter how innocent it is.

You want some clapping with that?

[Anonymous]

Parent here. I didn’t have strong opinions on these kinds of things until I was a chaperone on a ODP trip and had to do the child protection training. The way they framed the issue really made sense to me, and I became a believer:

I have to paraphrase, because it was a couple of years ago, but these were the main points:

1) No one can tell who is or could become a perpetrator. It’s not a “type” and conversely, just about any and every type of person is represented among the ranks of offenders.
2) an illicit relationship can only grow in secrecy. Private conversations, meetings, texts, etc.
3) therefore, although a private text, conversation, or meeting might not (and is probably not) connected to the growth of an illicit relationship, the fact that an adult is choosing NOT to insulate themselves against that situation *in spite of being explicitly directed to do so,* is enough of a reason to for an organization to sever the relationship with that adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about be honest with your kids. Tell them trust nobody fully!! Not your coach, teacher, priest , uncle, cousin, neighbor, scout leader. Tell them there are people who have bad intentions and anything outside The parameter you set is wrong and needs to be addressed. As parents we cannot stop the intentions of "predators". However we can prepare our kids by teaching them whats out there and how to avoid and take action if these situations ever occur.

Right. Because kids will speak up against a well liked coach that controls your playing time and risk not playing in college. It’s even harder if a parent likes the Coach.

Be a better parent bro. Teach your kids right from wrong teach them when they are young they need to speak up against things.

Wish we were perfect like you and your children. Reality is that damage is done by the time it’s reported to you. Monitoring was the point . Predators first build a trusting relationship before any offense happens. But go ahead and trust your child.

[Anonymous]

What is the content of the texts? My DD (HS age) texts coaches for training reasons. Nothing personal from what I’ve gleamed.

However, at younger ages, there is not a need for a coach to text players.

I’d put the threshold at HS and recruiting age kids.