What is the age for a woman or man, that if you are not already married, you likely may never marry?

[Anonymous]

People coming with stories like “I got married at 42” or “My friend was 50” should realize that’s the exception, not the rule.

[Anonymous]

For men, I'd say 40 or so. I am acquainted with only 1 or 2 men who got married for the first time after 40. One was 50. I think that in most cases if a man isn't married by 40, he doesn't want to get married at all.

For women, I don't know. I have single friends in their mid- to late 30s who would probably get married if they met the right person. I know two women who got married (to men, not each other!) around 40, maybe a little earlier.

[Anonymous]

This is also regional. I agree with many of these numbers for the DMV but it's different elsewhere.

One of the Duggar girls is 30 and still living at home and single. Something is going on there that she doesn't want to marry. But 30 is still young in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why start a thread like this? To torture people?

OP is a low vibrational idiot. This is what they do.

[Anonymous]

I think it is regional, cultural and social. There are statistics (probably low after 40) and then there are individual cases.

I also think there are exceptions. I have a female friend who married for the first time at 51--she had everything going for her all along (looks, brains, job, etc) and it was a mystery why she didn't get married earlier (she also didn't want kids). She married someone divorced. I have another female friend who married for the first time at 44, also to a man who had never been married before (he is maybe a year younger).

the biggest predictor is, I think, why someone hasn't been married by X age. In both these womens' cases, it was always strange--they had a lot going for them, and just had bad luck with men, high expectations or both. One thing that I think is kind of nice about getting married in late 40s or 50s is that it is not driven by biology (presumably) to have kids--its a choice. A lot of people who settle down at 35, 36, 37 are doing so because of the biological clock. I count myself in that latter category, btw. I'm happy, but I picked DH because he was the right enough guy at the right time and I needed to stop wasting my time with relationships that went nowhere.

[Anonymous]

For a man, my best guess would be between 49-59.

For a woman.....no deadline.

[Anonymous]

Late 30's. Maybe a tad higher for men. I know a few women who married in the 37/38 and immediately had a baby (or sought fertility treatments.) One friend had 4 kids - the last one at 45!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kamala Harris married for the first time at almost 50.

She doesn't have kids. 50 is too old for anyone who wants kids. Most politicians have issues, and I wouldn't use any of them as a model for healthy behavior.

This doesn’t count. She was busy sleeping her way to the top, married men and all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think 40 is sort of a milestone year where, married or not, you inevitably start contemplating the shape of your life. It's when a lot of people feel like they need to either pull the trigger or move on, in terms of marriage, kids, career change, where you live. There are exceptions, but when you turn 40, I can't tell you how much 50 feels right around the corner. In a way that 40 didn't feel so close when you turn 30 or even 35. 40 is like "Ok, I'm middle aged, this is what my life is -- I can make changes, but I'm not going to stumble into some big shift the way I might have before."

And that's what it is. You can get married past 40 (you can have kids past 40, a variety of ways), but it's not happening unless you make a conscious choice to make it happen. In a way this is much better than the way people often kind of land on marriage partners (or careers, or having kids) by accident if it happens younger. It's why people who marry later tend to stay married. You have to want it. I know a LOT of people who got married with misgivings at 30. Some stayed married, some didn't.

I don't know anyone who got married after 40 who didn't know exactly what they were doing and feel pretty damn certain that this was what they wanted for their future. Because... why? I'm sure it happens, especially with second or third marriages and certain people who just don't know how to be alone. But if you've been single your entire life, you aren't getting married after 40 unless it feels exactly right.

Your anecdotes do not disprove the data, which is that people who get married after age 32 have a higher divorce rate than people who marry between ages 25-32. Each year after 32, the likelihood of divorce increases by 5%.

As it turns out, it’s quite hard for people who are set in their ways to integrate lives.

I think this is untrue. I’m not sure where you got your data from. Most who marry before 30 end up divorced. Most who marry in their thirties have less of a chance getting a divorce. I know of many people who married young and were divorced by 30 or early 30’s, and then went on to have successful marriages. I also know many thirty-something’s who waited until their 30’s and they have successful marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do think 40 is sort of a milestone year where, married or not, you inevitably start contemplating the shape of your life. It's when a lot of people feel like they need to either pull the trigger or move on, in terms of marriage, kids, career change, where you live. There are exceptions, but when you turn 40, I can't tell you how much 50 feels right around the corner. In a way that 40 didn't feel so close when you turn 30 or even 35. 40 is like "Ok, I'm middle aged, this is what my life is -- I can make changes, but I'm not going to stumble into some big shift the way I might have before."

And that's what it is. You can get married past 40 (you can have kids past 40, a variety of ways), but it's not happening unless you make a conscious choice to make it happen. In a way this is much better than the way people often kind of land on marriage partners (or careers, or having kids) by accident if it happens younger. It's why people who marry later tend to stay married. You have to want it. I know a LOT of people who got married with misgivings at 30. Some stayed married, some didn't.

I don't know anyone who got married after 40 who didn't know exactly what they were doing and feel pretty damn certain that this was what they wanted for their future. Because... why? I'm sure it happens, especially with second or third marriages and certain people who just don't know how to be alone. But if you've been single your entire life, you aren't getting married after 40 unless it feels exactly right.

Your anecdotes do not disprove the data, which is that people who get married after age 32 have a higher divorce rate than people who marry between ages 25-32. Each year after 32, the likelihood of divorce increases by 5%.

As it turns out, it’s quite hard for people who are set in their ways to integrate lives.

I think this is untrue. I’m not sure where you got your data from. Most who marry before 30 end up divorced. Most who marry in their thirties have less of a chance getting a divorce. I know of many people who married young and were divorced by 30 or early 30’s, and then went on to have successful marriages. I also know many thirty-something’s who waited until their 30’s and they have successful marriages.

I am not that poster but the data about marrying at 32 or later increasing the chance of divorce is true. Early 20s high divorce rate as well. There is a sweet spot. But after 32, the chances of divorce are higher than a few years earlier. Here is one study:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3165920/Don-t-wait-walk-aisle-Couples-marry-age-32-likely-DIVORCE-odds-willl-worse-year.html

[Anonymous]

I would say 45, especially for women. Men, 50.

[Anonymous]

It seems well off guys have more and more options as they age until about 60. I'm not sure why you would settle down early unless you expect to get poor and obese.

[Anonymous]

Friend's brother got married at 52. I know this is s highly unusual and I have no idea why it didn't happen earlier. Nice guy, sociable, usually had a girlfriend, far from being a player.

[Anonymous]

I worked with a woman who married at 50 for the first time. Also, a distant cousin married his partner of 30 years when he was 66 and she was 49. They had raised four or five kids together. But he died shortly afterwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think 40 is sort of a milestone year where, married or not, you inevitably start contemplating the shape of your life. It's when a lot of people feel like they need to either pull the trigger or move on, in terms of marriage, kids, career change, where you live. There are exceptions, but when you turn 40, I can't tell you how much 50 feels right around the corner. In a way that 40 didn't feel so close when you turn 30 or even 35. 40 is like "Ok, I'm middle aged, this is what my life is -- I can make changes, but I'm not going to stumble into some big shift the way I might have before."

And that's what it is. You can get married past 40 (you can have kids past 40, a variety of ways), but it's not happening unless you make a conscious choice to make it happen. In a way this is much better than the way people often kind of land on marriage partners (or careers, or having kids) by accident if it happens younger. It's why people who marry later tend to stay married. You have to want it. I know a LOT of people who got married with misgivings at 30. Some stayed married, some didn't.

I don't know anyone who got married after 40 who didn't know exactly what they were doing and feel pretty damn certain that this was what they wanted for their future. Because... why? I'm sure it happens, especially with second or third marriages and certain people who just don't know how to be alone. But if you've been single your entire life, you aren't getting married after 40 unless it feels exactly right.

I didn’t find this to be true at all. I still don’t, at 43.