H and I aren’t on the same page for parenting....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to admit that you feel your parenting decisions are good and right and you’re angry at your husband that he won’t just cave to you as alpha mom and parent. Once you’ve done that, you can figure out how to compromise together. But you have to admit your feelings first. Just because he has different ideas doesn’t make him wrong.

Giving candy all the time is wrong. His ideas are not good.

I’m going to assert that it’s not all the time and that Op is exaggerating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, she is 4. Your husband isn’t going to change at this point. Call a good attorney and get as much custody as you can. It may go 50/50 but at least for 50% of her life she can learn how to survive in this world. Usually parents who are like that don’t really care about their kids - just picks the easiest way out to get the kid to shut up - candy, toy, etc. So it’s possible he won’t want 50/50 and then your child has a chance of turning out ok. It’s time to step up.

I totally agree. Never had been on the same page as DH. He has undone all that I try to do by doing the opposite of what we’ve even agreed upon. It’s been exhausting and futile. I am kind and also believe in the need for structure and expectations. DC is now 14 and is a disrespectful handful bc her dad wants to be her friend. A lot of it feels passive aggressive. Tried therapy. That didn’t work. I just reached out to a divorce attorney finally. Should have Don’t it long ago. I have allowed myself to be physically and emotionally sick. Can’t anymore.

[Anonymous]

Pick your battles.

I have 3 kids so I gave up. I try not to be so controlling. Many things still bother me.

DH also lets my 3yo have candy whenever she wants. If
DH never gives the kids fruit, even when it is cut up in the fridge. They snack on junk.
DH gives kids screens whenever he watches them.
DH doesn’t dress kids warm when they go outside.
DH never packs kids snacks or drinks.
DH takes our daughter out in pajamas and doesn’t brush her hair.
DH puts daughter to bed in same clothes she rolled around in outside.
I can go on and on forever.

DH has a lot of good character traits. He is a good involved parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles.

I have 3 kids so I gave up. I try not to be so controlling. Many things still bother me.

DH also lets my 3yo have candy whenever she wants. If
DH never gives the kids fruit, even when it is cut up in the fridge. They snack on junk.
DH gives kids screens whenever he watches them.
DH doesn’t dress kids warm when they go outside.
DH never packs kids snacks or drinks.
DH takes our daughter out in pajamas and doesn’t brush her hair.
DH puts daughter to bed in same clothes she rolled around in outside.
I can go on and on forever.

DH has a lot of good character traits. He is a good involved parent.

Quite possibly. He just sounds incredibly lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles.

I have 3 kids so I gave up. I try not to be so controlling. Many things still bother me.

DH also lets my 3yo have candy whenever she wants. If
DH never gives the kids fruit, even when it is cut up in the fridge. They snack on junk.
DH gives kids screens whenever he watches them.
DH doesn’t dress kids warm when they go outside.
DH never packs kids snacks or drinks.
DH takes our daughter out in pajamas and doesn’t brush her hair.
DH puts daughter to bed in same clothes she rolled around in outside.
I can go on and on forever.

DH has a lot of good character traits. He is a good involved parent.

Quite possibly. He just sounds incredibly lazy.

He is a very busy surgeon. He is a lot of things but not lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pick your battles.

I have 3 kids so I gave up. I try not to be so controlling. Many things still bother me.

DH also lets my 3yo have candy whenever she wants. If
DH never gives the kids fruit, even when it is cut up in the fridge. They snack on junk.
DH gives kids screens whenever he watches them.
DH doesn’t dress kids warm when they go outside.
DH never packs kids snacks or drinks.
DH takes our daughter out in pajamas and doesn’t brush her hair.
DH puts daughter to bed in same clothes she rolled around in outside.
I can go on and on forever.

DH has a lot of good character traits. He is a good involved parent.

Quite possibly. He just sounds incredibly lazy.

He is a very busy surgeon. He is a lot of things but not lazy.

Okay, maybe he’s not a lazy person but what you described is a very lazy parent.

[Anonymous]

Take online PEP class together.

Take him to a strip club—tell him “Those women had parents that didn’t set boundaries. They never were told No and never learned to delay gratification.”

I don’t mean to shame women in the sex industry. I know there are many reasons women go into it. But most men’s greatest fear for their daughters is to have them enter the sex industry. Use this to your advantage.

[Anonymous]

Op you want to blame him for things you don’t like about your daughter, and your life. It’s a convenient scapegoat but not reality. YOU can stop sleeping with your daughter right now. You can start packing up toys in the playroom and sending them away. Find a place to donate and talk to your daughter about the other little kids who will play with her toys and which ones she wants to give away. Every new toy in the house is another in the donation box. She will model herself after you. Stop worrying about him.