Inheritance/gift to child and spouse or just child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

This is true.

Inheritance and asset distribution are NOT gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

This is true.

Inheritance and asset distribution are NOT gifts.

the IRS disagrees

[Anonymous]

My FIL's best friend is a horrible person that specifically wrote out all three of his children's spouses out of the will. And he claims to have done it without ill will. He just wants to be sure his wealth goes only to his children.

My FIL was so enamored with this idea actually pulled me aside to tell me that I'll never see a penny of his, no hard feelings. We are what I would say good friends too.

I was like WTF?

Guess I'm free to not help him with anything from here on out.

Maybe early dementia? He's 74.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My FIL's best friend is a horrible person that specifically wrote out all three of his children's spouses out of the will. And he claims to have done it without ill will. He just wants to be sure his wealth goes only to his children.

My FIL was so enamored with this idea actually pulled me aside to tell me that I'll never see a penny of his, no hard feelings. We are what I would say good friends too.

I was like WTF?

Guess I'm free to not help him with anything from here on out.

Maybe early dementia? He's 74.

What's wrong with that? You get inheritance via your spouse. That's a pretty normal thing to do. I wouldn't leave a DIL money, I'd leave it all to my son and grandkids. I wouldn't expect anything from my inlaws either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I’m not understanding, but a gift to my spouse is a gift to me and vice versa. A large windfall would either pay off our mortgage, funds kids school, or get put into a joint brokerage account.

OP here. I'm not talking about how you spend the $, but who it legally belongs to.

Thanks to those that answered and reinforced my gut reaction on this.

My husband (I would never call him DH) got a trust fund and has barely spent one penny on me or the kids. The resentment has ruined our marriage and our children's childhood. If you know you don't want to share, you should not have gotten narried,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

+1. Ice cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws have been gifting my husband and sister-in-law the max allowed each year for a few years now and I never thought about how they could be gifting it to me as well (especially considering I come from a low income family/background that won’t be leaving my spouse and I anything at all) but now DCUM has gotten me all mad about it. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

If the trust fund is big enough- quit. He can either pay the bills or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

+1

My father died when I was young (16) and my mother died when I was 28. My inheritance paid for my DH's grad school and allowed me (ie us) to not pay child care for the 3 years I was home with our twins. It didn't make sense to work as day care would eat the earnings I made and then some.

Well, DH became ex DH at 48 when his alcoholism became out of control and he started to hit. I'll never see a dime of his very large inheritance and that's not fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

If the trust fund is big enough- quit. He can either pay the bills or not

Divorce. You don't need him for anything. Stop complaining about it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

+1

My father died when I was young (16) and my mother died when I was 28. My inheritance paid for my DH's grad school and allowed me (ie us) to not pay child care for the 3 years I was home with our twins. It didn't make sense to work as day care would eat the earnings I made and then some.

Well, DH became ex DH at 48 when his alcoholism became out of control and he started to hit. I'll never see a dime of his very large inheritance and that's not fair.

All these stories just confirm for me that even in the best of marriages men use money to control or punish their wives/ex-wives.

[Anonymous]

Child only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals in the field will tell you child only.

So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall.

This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.

If the trust fund is big enough- quit. He can either pay the bills or not

It's many millions of dollars. But he won't pay the bills. Then what do the kids and I do? I make just enough to cover our bills and I can't afford a new house in this area, so would have to move elsewhere. My only hope is that I can leave in a few years and he will see fit to atleast not make my buy out his half of the house. To OP: is this what you want? A spouse who hates you? Especially because you're the one inisting he not be included? You sound awful. You and all your kinds are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my grandmother has been giving myself, my wife and my daughter the max allowed by the IRS every year for quite some time. and she set up a 529 for my daughter.

Her rationale, "I'd rather be able to see you enjoy it and not be taxed on it"

And its possible when she dies, she could will money to all three of us, plus my parents plus others. Or she could see fit to only will money to her children.

I guess all you folks must have shitty marriages to even consider hoping that an inheritance or gift is only "for you" and not to be shared with your spouse..

it's not a matter of shitty marriages. marriages can last but sometimes they do not. whoever makes the gift should know that if the gift is given to the spouse it belongs to the spouse only, even if the spouse six months later decides to divorce and move on. if this is ok, then go for it. otherwise make the gift to the child only. child will share with his/her own family but it will be his or hers. the parents of a friend, wealthy, donated an apartment to their son in law and he left the daughter a few months later, entering into a relationship with a divorced woman with kids. the daughter was totally blindsided by the split. parents of the friend were not happy, they certainly would not have given an apartment as a gift to him unless he was married to their daughter.