Asian-American boys, basketball and coaches

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I showed BIL this thread and he wanted to say thanks to everyone. This is all new for him. He's a very good dad but just not experienced in this realm so if he is messing up he is sorry. He has a question I did not think about. Would your answers change if the coach were also a minority (not Asian)?

Does not matter one bit, racism affects all races.

Good for your brother for wanting to learn and improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are they playing travel basketball outdoors?

They aren’t. OP is just trying to avoid judgment.

AAU teams played outdoors in this area all summer and fall.

I agree it is not okay, but I’d switch teams. Still bring it up but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t change behavior. Some coaches are jerks. We left a team here because one coach was constantly fat shaming kids in a really mean way. Parents brought it up and it didn’t stop. It wasn’t good for DS to be around that. He was saying terrible comments to any kids he perceived to be a little overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever brought it up? Do you get taken seriously because many Asians I know don't get taken seriously if they raise things like this.

PP here. Yes, I have brought it up for myself at times, but more so for my children now that I am an adult and know what this looks like. As a child, I usually went along with the mocking to try to show that I was a good sport and didn’t take things too seriously. Well, I take this s**t seriously now.

Typically when kids are mocked, such as OP’s nephew, the person doing the insulting does it in a way so they can pass it off as “just joking” if they’re called on it. OP brought up the coach’s ethnicity indicating that he/she might not be white. In my experience, when Black people mock Asians, they are better able to get away with it because White people think Blacks should not be called out for racist behavior. (I assume it must be fairly awkward for a White person to tell a Black or other POC person that their behavior is racist.)

Whatever the situation, BIL should bring it up in a calm manner and let the coach know that this will not be tolerated. If it continues, BIL should report the coach and submit the complaint with film, to the organizing body to have this person banned from coaching youth sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are they playing travel basketball outdoors?

um, they're playing indoors at St. James right now?

um, how does that answer her question?

NP here, but your questions are hijacking the thread so move on.

As for the DMV CYA basketball is getting ready to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever brought it up? Do you get taken seriously because many Asians I know don't get taken seriously if they raise things like this.

PP here. Yes, I have brought it up for myself at times, but more so for my children now that I am an adult and know what this looks like. As a child, I usually went along with the mocking to try to show that I was a good sport and didn’t take things too seriously. Well, I take this s**t seriously now.

Typically when kids are mocked, such as OP’s nephew, the person doing the insulting does it in a way so they can pass it off as “just joking” if they’re called on it. OP brought up the coach’s ethnicity indicating that he/she might not be white. In my experience, when Black people mock Asians, they are better able to get away with it because White people think Blacks should not be called out for racist behavior. (I assume it must be fairly awkward for a White person to tell a Black or other POC person that their behavior is racist.)

Whatever the situation, BIL should bring it up in a calm manner and let the coach know that this will not be tolerated. If it continues, BIL should report the coach and submit the complaint with film, to the organizing body to have this person banned from coaching youth sports.

How does the instigator react?
We haven't been bringing it up to coaches, because I mentioned it once to a white parent and just got the incredulous you are overreacting and Asians are so whiny look and some words to that effect evening bringing up the Harvard lawsuit because WTF does that have to do with sports and discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anytime I’ve raised issues, it’s always been taken seriously. FWIW, the people I’ve spoken to are white and we have been in cities where this has occurred. You mention BIL is a few hours outside of D.C. Maybe I’d get a different reaction if I were complaining in a rural area and to POC or Blacks.