Older moms, tell me raising kids in DC will be fun/exciting for them?

Anonymous
OP- Kids grow up here just like anywhere else. Some are goody goody, some are rebels, and most are just average kids. Academics is competitive throughout the area in both private and public schools. Some kids play sports, some kids don’t but do other activities. There are school rivals and families support their school and community. Sheltering of kids is totally parent dependent l. If you don’t want you kid to be sheltered, then raise them to be independent and let them experience all the great things the area has to offer.

If you’re looking for this to be SEC/Friday Night Lights country then no its not that. But, kids grow up liking sports and being normal, and hopefully with a bit of diversity.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you're anything like me, you will be sorry you raised kids here. It is nothing like that dreamy, suburban upbringing you (and I) had. Especially at the NWDC privates. I have two high schoolers there now and they HATE it. My DD especially wishes she had grown up the way I did, and not the way her crazy, miserable faither, who grew up in DC and also went to one of the elitist privates did. If you can go back to Miami, you should. I would in a heartbeat, but my husband got us trapped here.

oH my god. This is my fear. I too grew up in a very different area on the west coast. My husband went to a private school outside NYC and thinks DC is the norm. It is not. I really wanted to move when my kids were younger. Now it seems we are stuck here too. I'm feeling very depressed about it as my kids are entering HS and it seems that they will go to school here until they go to college. OP, Move now if you can.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you're anything like me, you will be sorry you raised kids here. It is nothing like that dreamy, suburban upbringing you (and I) had. Especially at the NWDC privates. I have two high schoolers there now and they HATE it. My DD especially wishes she had grown up the way I did, and not the way her crazy, miserable faither, who grew up in DC and also went to one of the elitist privates did. If you can go back to Miami, you should. I would in a heartbeat, but my husband got us trapped here.

oH my god. This is my fear. I too grew up in a very different area on the west coast. My husband went to a private school outside NYC and thinks DC is the norm. It is not. I really wanted to move when my kids were younger. Now it seems we are stuck here too. I'm feeling very depressed about it as my kids are entering HS and it seems that they will go to school here until they go to college. OP, Move now if you can.


Speaking generally, adults in DC are pretty boring and uptight as compared to other cities. It lends to a vibe that is not that much fun. I've been a parent at 3 different DC independent schools. My friends in SF and LA have a much more fun and laid back group of school parent friends than the parents at any of those schools.
Anonymous
These responses seem pretty crazy (but par for the course here).

My kids were born in DC. One is now close to graduating from a private NW DC high school and one graduated from Wilson and is at a great college (by pretty much anyone's measure). They have loved growing up here--not that they know anything else. They have a wonderful and diverse network of friends from school, sports, other activities and family friends. They roamed our neighborhood pretty freely as older kids and preteens, and as teenagers (pre-pandemic) used the bus and metro and bikes/walking to get anywhere they needed to go, all around the city.

That said, the things you're looking for don't really happen in the city. Most schools have football teams, but because there are many things to do here and, in general, people's interests are both more diverse and more scattered than you're describing, you won't see the entire school community (let alone the surrounding community) at a HS football game. There's decent attendance and school spirit for soccer and football at many schools, but no, it's not what you're describing. If that's really what you're looking for, you'd probably be happier in a small town or a close-knit suburb.
Anonymous
Well, the flip side is this: My kids' same-age cousins grew up in a place where sports and parties were the priorities--high school was a blast. Of the four, one spent time in juvvie, didn't go to college and works in construction, one just got his associate's degree four years out of high school and works a low-level office job, one has a drug problem, dropped out of college after one semester and works at a pizza joint, and one is in college and doing well. These are all kids with a good intellect and a stable home, but a crappy peer group at schools where it's not cool to be smart. Environment matters a lot.
Anonymous
The large public high schools surrounding DC in NoVa and Montgomery County probably aren't all that different than those in suburban Miami.

With some Virginia exceptions, the football isn't going to be anywhere as near as good or well-supported as you are used to in South Florida. We live in Montgomery County and the support of the local public high school teams is pretty anemic.

If you are committed to a private school, then you should probably be looking at the IAC. Sports are a relatively big deal there. There are rivalries, big games with largish crowds and and an alumni following. (St Albans, Landon, Bullis, St Stevens, Georgetown Prep, etc.)

The best athletic conference in the area by far is the Catholic League. (Gonzaga, St. Johns, DeMatha, Good Counsel MD), O'Connell (VA), Pul VI (VA),etc)

Go to a St. John's v. Gonzaga football or basketball game or a Landon v. Prep lacrosse game and see if that's the atmosphere you are looking for.

You aren't going to replicate Miami here.

Anonymous
What do you mean by “dreamy, suburban upbringing”? Football games,prom and school spirit doesn’t seem “dreamy” just regular suburbia.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What is it like to raise kids here long term? Do kids get a fun high school experience?

I grew up in suburban Miami. I had such a fun childhood. High school football games were epic. School spirit was off the charts. Artists/rappers repped Miami in songs. People went crazy for our sports teams. There was just so much culture, and people were so friendly and cool and chill and funny.

My husband and I both moved here straight from college. We've lived here 10-12 years. Have one kid. Just bought our first house. I love DC weather and we have great friends here, good jobs, etc., but I'm worried that raising kids here will be so dull and so unlike our childhoods (husband is from TX, same story I describe -- loved HS). Our kid is very little but we will probably go to public elementary school and then look at the NWDC private schools for middle and high school (which, again, is so different from my husband's and my big, public high school experiences, and we're coming to terms with that, too, but that's a different topic).

So tell me, how is it with kids here over the long term? Is high school a fun and exciting time? Like, is it fun and cool to "come of age" in DC? Is it fun to go to football games and school events?


Schools in Virginia and St John’s high school are the closest to the Quissential US HS experience. Sense of community too.
Everywhere else is too transient, too serious, too over scheduled, too unathletic, low school spirit.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The large public high schools surrounding DC in NoVa and Montgomery County probably aren't all that different than those in suburban Miami.

With some Virginia exceptions, the football isn't going to be anywhere as near as good or well-supported as you are used to in South Florida. We live in Montgomery County and the support of the local public high school teams is pretty anemic.

If you are committed to a private school, then you should probably be looking at the IAC. Sports are a relatively big deal there. There are rivalries, big games with largish crowds and and an alumni following. (St Albans, Landon, Bullis, St Stevens, Georgetown Prep, etc.)

The best athletic conference in the area by far is the Catholic League. (Gonzaga, St. Johns, DeMatha, Good Counsel MD), O'Connell (VA), Pul VI (VA),etc)

Go to a St. John's v. Gonzaga football or basketball game or a Landon v. Prep lacrosse game and see if that's the atmosphere you are looking for.

You aren't going to replicate Miami here.


Agree w the above. This directly Anders your question.

We found the community and close local friends of parish schools, plus they all love playing on sports teams each year, was much easier and closer to make good friends than the private school we started at with kids driving in from 1-20 miles in every direction.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You sound very immature. Basically you’re saying high school is not fun if it’s not like “Friday Night Lights?”


Yeah, I sort of am wondering that. Basically, what is the culture of high school here? And growing up here in general?


Extremely competitive. My kids go to a well- regraded private school. They also play travel sports. Everything feels ultra competitive and I worry about them. I’m happy to give them opportunities that I never had ( grew up in a small town and loved my upbringing) but I worry about the pressure they face every day. They seem happy but it’s a constant reality check that they don’t need to be perfect like all of their peers seem to be.
Anonymous
Not everyone from the Tri State is as one poster described. But you will find most on DCUM to be.....interesting.

So, OP, we just moved to the area before the pandemic from North Jersey where your community type environment you describe was over the top. I have also lived for several years in Fort Lauderdale and Dallas and know EXACTLY what you are referring to.

My kids are still young (11/10), we live in CC MD, and to be honest, I have buyers remorse. I’m sure some of it is pandemic induced, but I don’t get the hype of living here. It’s not so community / small town focused, but it doesn’t have (IMO) the great allure of “city” living either.

My kids continue to say all kids here do is bike and hike, and they would gladly move back to the 954 and/or 201 in a heartbeat. I suppose it is what it is, but having lived in 9 different states over the last 15 years, DC ranks lowest. Not cause it’s bad, just because there are many places that are better.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:But you must realize your young child won’t necessarily want the big extrovert focus you and husband seemed to enjoy. So wait and see over time what you think is best for them.


Agree. I came from the kind of place that had parades for the high school football team, which was always in the running for a national championship rank. I was all in. DH is sports obsessed and played sports though college.

My children absolutely despise ball sports and couldn't be paid to go to a high school football game. That just isn't who they are. They are having an amazing teen experience living in a city like DC, and they love their tiny high school for its intellectual and international atmosphere. Their lives are completely different from our childhoods in pretty much every way, and I couldn't imagine a better childhood for who they are and what they want to become. If we moved back to either of our hometowns and sent them to our high schools, they would be begging to go to boarding school.

However, if they were looking for the rah rah sports life in a high school around here, I would send them to one of the bigger Catholic high schools, like Gonzaga or St. John's College High School.
Anonymous
There’s a lot of people who are trapped in DC. This place is not warm and friendly and happy to many people. And the private schools for the most part are intense and focused. Parent groups are not like many places and not as good. Lots of uptight and just strangely judgmental people. Can you move back to Miami soon?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you're anything like me, you will be sorry you raised kids here. It is nothing like that dreamy, suburban upbringing you (and I) had. Especially at the NWDC privates. I have two high schoolers there now and they HATE it. My DD especially wishes she had grown up the way I did, and not the way her crazy, miserable faither, who grew up in DC and also went to one of the elitist privates did. If you can go back to Miami, you should. I would in a heartbeat, but my husband got us trapped here.



Ok, now the agenda comes out
Anonymous
My experience here is that there are two groups of people who like it here.

The first are those in the realm of politics, non-profits, government-associated big law and consulting. This is their professional world and they swim in it. Their kids may stay here after college to join the family business.

The second group are the DC natives. Those whose families live here, they went to high school here, know tons of people, etc. They actually operate in their own little worlds. Their kids are very likely to return after college.

Then there's the rest of us who have to deal with much of the downside. High cost of living, murderous traffic and a huge group of the entitled and self-important. The behaviors you see at our village shopping area are border-line ridiculous.

I don't think you could get away with acting like these people do. It's the size and anonymity that allow it.



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