Older moms, tell me raising kids in DC will be fun/exciting for them?

[Anonymous]

PP here. Just to clarify, staying in Dc proper doesn’t mean sleepovers are off limits. I just meant that the overall experiences you are searching for are likely less to occur there. And agree with other posters that the public school experience is more aligned to what you are looking for, vice private schools. Best of luck to you and your family and I hope you find the right fit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Northwest DC and went to a big three. I did not have fun in high school. It was exhausting and stressful and not fun. I worked so hard I averaged 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Sorry.

i think it's terrible that kids in the DMV work harder in HS than college. Awful.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So far these responses are telling me everything I need to know. Cool.

Exactly. Some people here are so unhappy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Northwest DC and went to a big three. I did not have fun in high school. It was exhausting and stressful and not fun. I worked so hard I averaged 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Sorry.

Parents. Are you listening?? The only one with real perspective!

Agree. I too went to private high school in NW DC and grew up in Bethesda. By middle school evening and weekend hours were predominantly for school work. In high school it was expected to receive 45 minutes homework for each class session, but this usually ran more like 1 hr for each class/day. There were usually 5 academic classes per day. The academic school day let out at 3. Sports from 3:30/5:30 or so, maybe longer if there was a game. Home by 6/6:30, quick dinner, then homework until midnight or so. If there was a test, project, or presentation (which there would inevitably be every week) then even later. Up at 6:30am, repeat. During school hours we used free period and any flex time between classes to put a dent in that evenings homework. Everyone worked hard, not just the top of the class. If you didn’t you just couldn’t keep up and the work would swamp you. Still found moments for fun, and second semester senior year things eased up.

My experience was a stark contrast to my neighbors who went to MOCO public school. I would hear from them about trips to the mall, driving around after school, hanging out at each other’s houses on weekdays and weekends. Just overall a lot more “hanging out” time. Yes, there was socializing in my private school too but so much less and no flexibility for this regular hang out time.

This. Except I was sucky at sports but into acting, choir, orchestra, gov club, etc. Sports were required after school, so in addition to the schedule above (Slightly shorter sports huors but still several afternoons a week), I also had play practice, orchestra, gov club, etc, at night.

[Anonymous]

I won’t lie — DC is easy for parents but kind of boring and devoid of top level opportunities for older and talented kids. From acting to sports to nightlife. LA or London it ain’t

[Anonymous]

The suburbs are blah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Northwest DC and went to a big three. I did not have fun in high school. It was exhausting and stressful and not fun. I worked so hard I averaged 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Sorry.

i think it's terrible that kids in the DMV work harder in HS than college. Awful.

Totally agree, but it’s not “all” kids in the dmv - it’s just at these especially competitive private schools in NW DC, like the “big 3” or 5. The fact that people on this board, and occasionally in real life, actually think outsiders at other private schools envy those kids and families is so sad. Yes admissions are competitive but that’s because this area has a lot of strivers, not because those schools are inherently more valuable than other good private schools.

Btw OP if you are committed to staying in the area I think the answer is to look outside DC. We’ve personally found Alexandria to have more of a small community feel, and certainly more laid back and lower pressure, than places like Chevy Chase. There are still great private schools there, several for elementary school in particular. I’m sure there are other pockets outside the district like Alexandria as well (though, definitely not Arlington or McLean, which are quite intense but more public schools focused. Falls Church seems lovely and chill, if you go the public school route, but no good private schools nearby).

Why would anyone ever think striving is an insult. You work your butt off no matter what.

[Anonymous]

What an interesting thread. What really struck me is that a lot of the things people love about these “fun” high school experiences is how much they are about cheering on other people doing things rather than doing things yourself (unless you’re a football or other big sport player or cheerleader, etc.) For my part, I’d rather play the sport, make the music, etc. Give me niche sports and geeky people any day!

[Anonymous]

Interesting that you see it that way. I heard people saying they were into their own sports and activities but liked supporting their classmates in the activities they were not themselves into and enjoying the school spirit at school-wide events. Even geeks and fencers can have fun at a football game or school concert. Did you only do your own thing and never participated in the larger life of your school?

[Anonymous]

It's not that fun OP. Older moms are cougar power brokers...or invisible.. DC is full of angry people. Schools are grinds for kids. We are leaving, and we are from here. - zero allegiance to the "rat race" or "being in the center of it all"

[Anonymous]

This is how I feel. I don't know if I want to be tied to the rat race. I don't know if I want my kid to view the rat race of DC as normal. I think DC is a great place for people who really enjoy an intellectual challenge. I think the DC upperclass, elite and educated offer a great contrast to what so many of us are used to. However, there does seem to be something deeper and soulful missing. I actually live east of the Anacostia river. So I primarily interact with working class black DC natives. There is a vastly different approach to life. Neither is better or worse. But for me, I would prefer to have a little more community and homegrown feel to family and daily interactions. Northwest DC is the only part of the city where one can get a competitive education. It is a sad reality and changes the unity within the city.

Great thread and thanks for everyone's honesty. There is much to think about in defining the kind of life we want for our families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Northwest DC and went to a big three. I did not have fun in high school. It was exhausting and stressful and not fun. I worked so hard I averaged 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Sorry.

Parents. Are you listening?? The only one with real perspective!

Agree. I too went to private high school in NW DC and grew up in Bethesda. By middle school evening and weekend hours were predominantly for school work. In high school it was expected to receive 45 minutes homework for each class session, but this usually ran more like 1 hr for each class/day. There were usually 5 academic classes per day. The academic school day let out at 3. Sports from 3:30/5:30 or so, maybe longer if there was a game. Home by 6/6:30, quick dinner, then homework until midnight or so. If there was a test, project, or presentation (which there would inevitably be every week) then even later. Up at 6:30am, repeat. During school hours we used free period and any flex time between classes to put a dent in that evenings homework. Everyone worked hard, not just the top of the class. If you didn’t you just couldn’t keep up and the work would swamp you. Still found moments for fun, and second semester senior year things eased up.

My experience was a stark contrast to my neighbors who went to MOCO public school. I would hear from them about trips to the mall, driving around after school, hanging out at each other’s houses on weekdays and weekends. Just overall a lot more “hanging out” time. Yes, there was socializing in my private school too but so much less and no flexibility for this regular hang out time.

That sounds terrible. Not what I would want for my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in Northwest DC and went to a big three. I did not have fun in high school. It was exhausting and stressful and not fun. I worked so hard I averaged 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night. Sorry.

i think it's terrible that kids in the DMV work harder in HS than college. Awful.

Totally agree, but it’s not “all” kids in the dmv - it’s just at these especially competitive private schools in NW DC, like the “big 3” or 5. The fact that people on this board, and occasionally in real life, actually think outsiders at other private schools envy those kids and families is so sad. Yes admissions are competitive but that’s because this area has a lot of strivers, not because those schools are inherently more valuable than other good private schools.

Btw OP if you are committed to staying in the area I think the answer is to look outside DC. We’ve personally found Alexandria to have more of a small community feel, and certainly more laid back and lower pressure, than places like Chevy Chase. There are still great private schools there, several for elementary school in particular. I’m sure there are other pockets outside the district like Alexandria as well (though, definitely not Arlington or McLean, which are quite intense but more public schools focused. Falls Church seems lovely and chill, if you go the public school route, but no good private schools nearby).

Why would anyone ever think striving is an insult. You work your butt off no matter what.

Maybe you should read a little about what “striver” means.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3Fterm%3DStriver%26amp%3Dtrue

[Anonymous]

^ link didnt work and I’m on my phone, but a striver is, according to urban dictionary:

The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure.

[Anonymous]

^ so, yeah, if you’re any your kid to have a social life and know that it’s okay to be less than perfect, there are certain “elite” schools in the district you should avoid.

I say this as a graduate of several elite schools btw. I would never put my kids through what I went through.