How to win her back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she'd been telling you about the problem many times, yet you denied her feeling every single time. She fed up and broke up with you.
Leave her alone. There's nothing you can do to win her back.
She saw the real you.

This. You showed her who you are and she believed you. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are good in bed and take care of your partner's needs, she will never leave you.

Unfortunately a lot of men suck at getting a woman to orgasm and it becomes easy for women to leave them.

OP here. Sex was never an issue. We had lots of it and she was very happy. I made her orgasm multiple times every time we had sex. She has always said I was the best sex she has ever had.

Cool story, bro!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying she broke up with you out of the blue, without ever telling you how she was feeling? Did you have any idea that she was unhappy? If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be together anyway.

OP here. We talked once about it and I told her that I told her I thought it was fair since I paid for everything. I was still cleaning and cooking but she did it most of the time.

Why wasn’t she paying for anything? Did she work?

Honestly you sound very controlling. You like having someone wait on you. She asked for help and you told her to suck it up since you paid for everything. Now you’re trying to “win her back“, as if she were an object someone took from you.

She’s a human being. Not a thing that exists solely for your convenience.

Respect her wishes for once and leave her alone. This is one of those “if you love something let it go” times.

The best thing for you to do is get therapy and figure out why you can’t be an equal partner. Take what you learn into your next relationship.

[Anonymous]

If she left (despite the great sex, living together, etc.), then things must’ve been really bad for her - and you didn’t recognize it. Time to look inward, and let her go.

[Anonymous]

Move on... Don’t be a punk azz lap dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she left (despite the great sex, living together, etc.), then things must’ve been really bad for her - and you didn’t recognize it. Time to look inward, and let her go.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying she broke up with you out of the blue, without ever telling you how she was feeling? Did you have any idea that she was unhappy? If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be together anyway.

OP here. We talked once about it and I told her that I told her I thought it was fair since I paid for everything. I was still cleaning and cooking but she did it most of the time.

Oooh. Smart woman. She dodged a bullet. I am sure there were many other things about you that she did not like.

+1

[Anonymous]

You didn't have a girlfriend. You had a live-in housekeeper you "paid for" and had sex with - by your own admission. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

^ Totally this. And the matter of fact way you relate this is evidence that you still don’t get how wrong your thought process was/is. The problem
Isn’t that you liked to be taken care of by her, it’s your attitude that it was her job because you paid for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Totally this. And the matter of fact way you relate this is evidence that you still don’t get how wrong your thought process was/is. The problem
Isn’t that you liked to be taken care of by her, it’s your attitude that it was her job because you paid for everything.

DING DING DING!

And OP, you absolutely did not give her multiple orgasms every time you had sex. What are you, 13?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Totally this. And the matter of fact way you relate this is evidence that you still don’t get how wrong your thought process was/is. The problem
Isn’t that you liked to be taken care of by her, it’s your attitude that it was her job because you paid for everything.

DING DING DING!

And OP, you absolutely did not give her multiple orgasms every time you had sex. What are you, 13?

Yes, he did. In his mind.

OP is delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op tell us what you did that she felt you took her for granted?

OP here. I’ve always been self-sufficient. I’ve always dated women I took care of and I never got in return. My ex-girlfriend was the opposite. She is very generous and wanted to take care of me. We moved in together before the pandemic and it was amazing. She was cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc. When I got sick with a bad cold, she was there to take care of me. I had surgery recently for an old injury that never properly healed. She took care of me the entire time. I did say thank you and told her how much I appreciated it. She said it was getting to the point that she wanted a 50/50 partner and she did not want to take care of everything. She felt I depended on her too much.

Dude. You dodged a bullet. My ex wife was like that. She did everything. Wouldn’t let me do anything. She would complain and I would even insist on doing things. But she had this low self esteem thing where she basically loved to be the martyr. Then when she started cheating on me and wanted a divorce it’s because she said I didn’t do enough! She created a totally false history of us Because I objectively did pretty much more stuff including dinners, taking kids to school, grocery shopping. She later repeated the pattern. It’s not about you. It’s about her. Get moving on.

Oh, yeah. HE dodged a bullet. Thanks for the laugh! I needed that this cold, rainy morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are good in bed and take care of your partner's needs, she will never leave you.

Unfortunately a lot of men suck at getting a woman to orgasm and it becomes easy for women to leave them.

OP here. Sex was never an issue. We had lots of it and she was very happy. I made her orgasm multiple times every time we had sex. She has always said I was the best sex she has ever had.

If you're so perfectly splendid, why did she leave you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like she'd been telling you about the problem many times, yet you denied her feeling every single time. She fed up and broke up with you.
Leave her alone. There's nothing you can do to win her back.
She saw the real you.

This. You showed her who you are and she believed you. Leave her alone.

+1

She told you how she felt, and you told her she was wrong and that you had no intention of changing. She believed you, and she decided that she was not happy with the way things were. So she left. That seems totally reasonable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying she broke up with you out of the blue, without ever telling you how she was feeling? Did you have any idea that she was unhappy? If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be together anyway.

OP here. We talked once about it and I told her that I told her I thought it was fair since I paid for everything. I was still cleaning and cooking but she did it most of the time.

Oooh. Smart woman. She dodged a bullet. I am sure there were many other things about you that she did not like.

+1

Not sure when men *and* women are going to figure out that the "he pays for everything/she does everything" arrangement never works out. It's a breeding ground for resentment and bean counting. SAHP's can't related to the stresses of the work world and income pressure, WOHP's can't related to the endless deluge of domestic tasks. You gotta split it up, and no that doesn't mean both people need 70 hr/week jobs. But you have to divide and conquer as a team. Life is too long to not help each other.