How much praise and affection did you receive as a child?

[Anonymous]

Zero. My mother seemed pretty annoyed by her children's existence. She had one golden child. The emotional neglect along with being hit with hands and belts, and some sexual molestation by an uncle resulted in me having depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

As an adult, seeing parents who are engaged, attentive, and affectionate with their kids really helps me. So thanks and my undying appreciation to all of you engaged parents.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely none. I was very angry as a young adult and didn't undetstand why until I read a book, "The Art of Learning to Love Yourself" and I took a Reiki course. Both changed my life and slowly I became the person I should have been. Love is powerful.

[Anonymous]

Not much. I actually think the rare praise was a good thing. More hugs and physical affection would have been good.

[Anonymous]

None. As my mom has gotten older she’s felt guilt for how she’s treated me and tries to give hugs and Compliments. So much damage has been done that I tense up when she gives hugs and the compliments just feel insincere or backhanded.

[Anonymous]

A good amount of support, attention and encouragement from my mom. My dad was very stingy with praise. My mom said he thought it would go to our heads.

That left itsmark.

But of course, when I think about it, he had a very difficult childhood.

(People do the best they can, given what they were taught.)

[Anonymous]

Praise but not lots of physical affection. I always knew how much I was loved.

Sometimes when I was growing up, I would catch my mom just stealthily STARING at me. And when I called her out on it, she would say something like, “ I just think you’re so amazing. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.”

My dad would send me little notes in college with a $20 that said, “I’m so proud of the woman you’re becoming. Go have a beer to celebrate you.”

[Anonymous]

None from my mother, little from my father. But I turned the tables by telling them as an adult how much I loved them, and I have told my children every day.

[Anonymous]

None. Never once heard I love you or that they are proud of me. I have learned through therapy and many failed relationships the significant impact it had on me. Tell your kids you love them and you support them.

[Anonymous]

None from my father, what felt like fake or insincere proclamations from my mother. I also felt like she was jealous of me and my view of the world because I was outgoing and independent from a very young age and she was scared of the world.

I have not talked to my mother for 13+ years. My father is thankfully dead.

I have learned from their parenting how not to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Some physical affection when I was younger. I don't remember either parent saying they loved me until I was in my 40s. I don't think either grew up with much love.

My emotions are pretty much shut down, and I am in therapy for anxiety and depression.

[Anonymous]

Enormous amounts of affection, love, attention, interest. I don’t think a day went by without both my parents telling me they loved me.

But never praise. Excellence was expected.

[Anonymous]

I was one of seven and I don’t remember a ton of hugs or praise but I always knew I was loved.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t get a ton of praise because I was a screw up but I received a ton of affection. Even into HS my Dad would tuck me at night in and say “love you”. Even now at 33 he says the same thing every time we part and he often just texts me heart emojis. He’s 70 and I know that someday I won’t get those texts.

[Anonymous]

Tons. My mum would 'om nom' our heads, just huff our hair and make chomping/kissing noises while we were playing or studying. She would place her hands on our heads when we were working on something and sometimes just say nothing, or just say 'smart brain. you are amazing'. I do the same for my kids as it feels 'normal' to me. Dad always hugged/kissed us all. We got praised. They are warm/funny. BUT they also teased the heck out of us and called us on our crap, and we do that too with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Both from my mom, neither from my dad.

My mom was really good about praising our strengths and never comparing us to one another. She was a primary school teacher, so she'd seen things. We weren't coddled, and we were expected to be responsible for our actions, but she made sure we knew we were important to her and that she cared.

I think a lot of it was to counteract our dad, who was verbally and emotionally abusive to all of us, including her especially. We were never good enough. I still remember being called a rockpile when I was struggling with math in 6th grade and useless and hopeless because I wasn't a star athlete like my brother. We were straight-A students, went to elite colleges, have good careers and professional recognition, own our homes, are good parents and financially stable, and have started businesses... none of it was good enough. I've never figured out what "good enough" was for him, and I no longer care.