Unsure about having children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, since this is an anonymous forum, I can be honest. I didn't really want kids. I wasn't entirely set against it, but I wasn't for it either. We had trouble conceiving, and were getting close to giving up. Then we had twins.

I love them. I really do. But it's hard. And the last few years have been miserable. And the usual thing I hear is that it doesn't really get better so much as it gets different.

My spouse did want kids. But they don't really have the energy or time for them either. It doesn't help that one is special needs, but we're almost certainly bad parents on top of that.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have had kids. You can never say that to anyone, though. I actually did say it to some friends when the kids were born. They treated it more as a cry for help, and now sort of laugh about it as a sign of how far things have come. But I just hide it better now. I meant it when I said it, and I still think it.

I say it to people. I think the world needs to be much more honest than parenting. I love my kids but I would have been happier otherwise. I did not want them; my spouse pressured me relentlessly until I gave in. It happened once in a blue moon sex twice. We are now divorced.
My kids know they were not planned. I do say it with a positive spin though... that they magically happened before I could even decide and I love them more than anyone in the world.

But when they grow up I will tell them to never ever let anyone pressure them into having children...not ever...and do not take the chance of one time without protection...that is how it happened...twice...and years apart (no action in between).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were to get a positive pregnancy test tomorrow, how would you feel?

OP here. Happy but scared. I’m 38. There is worry about having children at ad advanced age.

If your H leaves you and you are single again, it will be difficult to find friends interested in hanging out with someone who is childless.

This is the biggest load of BS I've ever read. Don't listen to this OP, its nonsense.

[Anonymous]

When I was not sure if I wanted kids a friend (who doesn’t want kids) told me that whatever I decided I had to make sure that I had no regrets. I though about it and I was sure that I will regret not having kids. However, then I decided to have only one kid and once again I asked myself if I was going to have regrets, this time I was sure that I won’t regret not having more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were to get a positive pregnancy test tomorrow, how would you feel?

OP here. Happy but scared. I’m 38. There is worry about having children at ad advanced age.

If your H leaves you and you are single again, it will be difficult to find friends interested in hanging out with someone who is childless.

This is the biggest load of BS I've ever read. Don't listen to this OP, its nonsense.

+1 I would think is the opposite.

[Anonymous]

OP, my first impression of your post makes it seem like you don’t really want them. It’s very hard work raising a child and if you’re not all in then you will likely resent it. Don’t have children just because you feel like you have to.

[Anonymous]

I think the long poster summed it up very well. I'll add one thing. I find having teenagers much easier then babies/toddlers. Every stage is a joy, but no way would I want to go back to the work of a young one. Though they are cute.