DH yelled and cursed at me while I was driving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not stewing. I’m honestly scared to approach him for fear of being cursed out again.

Does this happen a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not stewing. I’m honestly scared to approach him for fear of being cursed out again.

Does this happen a lot?

Often enough that I’m scared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong sometimes.
9.99999 times out of 10 it prompts my spouse to immediately apologize also.
Back to speaking back to loving caring sharing smiling etc.
Being right is nowhere near as satisfying as being happy.

I'm curious about this. If you are always the apologize initiator, over time, don't you start to feel some hurt/resentment?

Never said always - I said sometimes.
Good compromises help you and your partner grow together as a team.
Making compromises fosters trust, accountability, consistency, and security in your relationship.
A compromise shows that you have a common goal in mind: a healthy partnership, rather than your own singular happiness at heart.
So yes - I'll compromise sometimes and put pride aside and say two simple words to open up dialogue when lips are tight and my spouse compromises also sometimes.
Like I said being "right" is nowhere near as imperative to either of us as being together and there's nothing to resent if we're both making compromises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong sometimes.
9.99999 times out of 10 it prompts my spouse to immediately apologize also.
Back to speaking back to loving caring sharing smiling etc.
Being right is nowhere near as satisfying as being happy.

I'm curious about this. If you are always the apologize initiator, over time, don't you start to feel some hurt/resentment?

Never said always - I said sometimes.
Good compromises help you and your partner grow together as a team.
Making compromises fosters trust, accountability, consistency, and security in your relationship.
A compromise shows that you have a common goal in mind: a healthy partnership, rather than your own singular happiness at heart.
So yes - I'll compromise sometimes and put pride aside and say two simple words to open up dialogue when lips are tight and my spouse compromises also sometimes.
Like I said being "right" is nowhere near as imperative to either of us as being together and there's nothing to resent if we're both making compromises.

To be clear, OP here and that was a question by someone else. I agree - I apologize even when I don’t think I did anything wrong to smooth things over. But in this feels different. He didn’t even attempt to talk to me. It felt out of left field, completely unfair, and honestly abusive. I was driving in rush hour traffic, shaking, and trying to remain calm. After which point, he left and hasn’t tried to communicate with me since then. It’s almost like he wants things to go downhill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes zero sense. He freaked out for no reason? You were running errands together but then you say you were alone?

In the middle of errands, after I parked, he left in an Uber. At which point I was alone, and continued to do errands. Sorry I wasn’t more clear in my OP. I was kind of shook up, and TBH, still very much am.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. He exploded at you then abandoned you? This is not the reaction of an emotionally-stable person. He has serious anger management and emotional regulation issues. This is abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes zero sense. He freaked out for no reason? You were running errands together but then you say you were alone?

In the middle of errands, after I parked, he left in an Uber. At which point I was alone, and continued to do errands. Sorry I wasn’t more clear in my OP. I was kind of shook up, and TBH, still very much am.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. He exploded at you then abandoned you? This is not the reaction of an emotionally-stable person. He has serious anger management and emotional regulation issues. This is abusive.

Np. Still doesn't make sense.

Nobody wakes up one day and evolves into this level of craziness.

Op is leaving out a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not stewing. I’m honestly scared to approach him for fear of being cursed out again.

Does this happen a lot?

Often enough that I’m scared.

If you are real, what you are describing is an abusive relationship. Deeper issue than one time yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes zero sense. He freaked out for no reason? You were running errands together but then you say you were alone?

In the middle of errands, after I parked, he left in an Uber. At which point I was alone, and continued to do errands. Sorry I wasn’t more clear in my OP. I was kind of shook up, and TBH, still very much am.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. He exploded at you then abandoned you? This is not the reaction of an emotionally-stable person. He has serious anger management and emotional regulation issues. This is abusive.

Np. Still doesn't make sense.

Nobody wakes up one day and evolves into this level of craziness.

Op is leaving out a lot.

OP, ignore this blame-casting PP. there are NO circumstances under which it is appropriate to yell at and curse out anyone. That and the abandonment are forms of emotional abuse.

Please visit loveisrespect.org to evaluate your relationship further.

If you don’t have kids, this kind of behavior should be an immediate relationship ender. If you do have kids, please work with a therapist experienced in emotional abuse to set bpundaries and contemplate how to extricate yourself and the kids. This kind of behavior is a lifelong pattern that is very hard to break. And growing up with an emotionally abusive parent leaves lifelong scars.