Am I being too sensitive about doctors COVID statement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to tell without context, but it does sound like she was trying to scare you, which frankly IMO is a condescending way to approach warning a patient and probably says a lot about how she's going to treat you throughout the pregnancy. I think the question you need to ask is, even if her warning was legit, do I want to continue being spoken to like I'm a moron, or do I want a provider who lays out facts without lecturing or talking down to me and then lets me make my own decisions? There are providers out there who do not behave that way and you still have plenty of time to switch.

Also, you may be "high risk" for contracting covid because pregnancy suppresses the body's immune responses, but the threat of covid, or even contracting covid, does not make your pregnancy a "high risk" one. I hope she was not saying it does, because that is blatantly false and makes me think she is setting you up for lots of micro-managing of your pregnancy and delivery that isn't evidence-based.

All of this. And if you don’t connect with an OB, for whatever reason, that’s a good reason to switch.

I totally agree. The rudest doctors are often the least competent. They are mean to hide their own lack of knowledge/laziness. Finding a good OB can take some trial and error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she hates her job, and has poor bedside manner. Switch doctors. Also, pregnancy MIGHT be at an increased risk, not ARE at an increased risk, according to the CDC.

This. There's no particular reason to think COVID presents a risk to the baby's development. However, pregnancy is quite hard on the body, which does make you more vulnerable to complications related to COVID. Overall, though, the risk is still rather low for younger, healthy women.

The OB was needlessly alarmist. At worst, they don't know the current literature. At worst, they know, but were exaggerating the risks to make a point. Either way, I wouldn't trust them.

+1000

I’m not in DC, but in VA, at UVA actually, and my doctors have mentioned nothing to me.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard to know without being there but perhaps you didnt appear aware or concerned about the risks in conceiving and having a baby now. All of us who are getting ready to give birth now got pregnant pre pandemic so we didn’t make a choice to have a baby in the middle of this. If you didn’t have a preconception appointment with your OB to discuss timing and such and then appear to be unaware of COVID risks and that yeah, this isn’t a great time to have a baby, that might explain her demeanor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose to have a baby now but you should have been considering the risks when you thought about conceiving and maybe your OB got the vibe that you were being flippant or something. No way to say though without knowing the context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I had my first Ob appointment today and my doctor made a statement that really freaked me out. I'm not sure if I am overthinking it but I am now wondering if I made a mistake getting pregnant and her comments are hitting me hard for some reason. She mentioned COVID risks multiple times and when I asked her to expand she said that I am automatically high risk due to the coronavirus situation and said that now is not a good time to be pregnant. She then stated that my baby may be at risk for possible long term issues if I were to catch COVID but did say no one knows for sure about the long term affects. I feel like her statements were insensitive but maybe I am being overly sensitive and she was just being giving me the hard truth. Any thoughts or am I freaking out uncessarily?

Good lord, she was telling you the truth for your own good! Be grateful that your OB is being honest with you. You are beyondbridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to know without being there but perhaps you didnt appear aware or concerned about the risks in conceiving and having a baby now. All of us who are getting ready to give birth now got pregnant pre pandemic so we didn’t make a choice to have a baby in the middle of this. If you didn’t have a preconception appointment with your OB to discuss timing and such and then appear to be unaware of COVID risks and that yeah, this isn’t a great time to have a baby, that might explain her demeanor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose to have a baby now but you should have been considering the risks when you thought about conceiving and maybe your OB got the vibe that you were being flippant or something. No way to say though without knowing the context.

So it's ok for an OB to moralize to patients and chastise them for making a personal decision to start a family during a public health crisis? Which, by the way, isn't having an outsize impact on pregnant people or babies? And are you also aware, many people get pregnant without meaning to? SMH.

https://www.contagionlive.com/news/newborns-not-at-increased-perinatal-covid19-risk

https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-advisory/articles/2020/03/novel-coronavirus-2019

[Anonymous]

Op here thanks for all of the feedback. This baby was planned and I am well aware of the risks of COVID. Age is not on my side so we decided to go ahead and try. After thinking about it more, I'm going to explore other options for my OB care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thanks for all of the feedback. This baby was planned and I am well aware of the risks of COVID. Age is not on my side so we decided to go ahead and try. After thinking about it more, I'm going to explore other options for my OB care.

Good idea, OP!

[Anonymous]

If your doctor providing you medical information without sugarcoating it and constantly reassuring you is "insensitive" to you, then you should get another OB. Personally, I like a doctor who treats me like an adult. I want to know what they think. YOU asked her to explain, and then you got offended because she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to know without being there but perhaps you didnt appear aware or concerned about the risks in conceiving and having a baby now. All of us who are getting ready to give birth now got pregnant pre pandemic so we didn’t make a choice to have a baby in the middle of this. If you didn’t have a preconception appointment with your OB to discuss timing and such and then appear to be unaware of COVID risks and that yeah, this isn’t a great time to have a baby, that might explain her demeanor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose to have a baby now but you should have been considering the risks when you thought about conceiving and maybe your OB got the vibe that you were being flippant or something. No way to say though without knowing the context.

So it's ok for an OB to moralize to patients and chastise them for making a personal decision to start a family during a public health crisis? Which, by the way, isn't having an outsize impact on pregnant people or babies? And are you also aware, many people get pregnant without meaning to? SMH.

https://www.contagionlive.com/news/newborns-not-at-increased-perinatal-covid19-risk

https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-advisory/articles/2020/03/novel-coronavirus-2019

This is the guidance to practitioners copied from the ACOG link you provided:

Clinicians should counsel pregnant women and those contemplating pregnancy about the potential risk for severe illness from COVID-19, and measures to prevent infection with SARS-CoV-2 should be emphasized for pregnant women and their families. Pregnant individuals in particular are encouraged to take all available precautions to optimize health and avoid exposure to COVID-19 including:

maintaining prenatal care appointments
wearing a mask and other recommended PPE, if applicable, at work and in public
washing hands frequently
maintaining physical distancing
limiting contact with other individuals as much as practicable
maintain an adequate supply of preparedness resources including medications

That's exactly what OP's doctor did. It sounds like it just isn't a good personality match, but the OB was being a responsible professional, especially since the OP specifically asked her for more information on Covid.

[Anonymous]

I think it is on the same level as if she was telling you that doing drugs and drinking is extremely danerous during pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to know without being there but perhaps you didnt appear aware or concerned about the risks in conceiving and having a baby now. All of us who are getting ready to give birth now got pregnant pre pandemic so we didn’t make a choice to have a baby in the middle of this. If you didn’t have a preconception appointment with your OB to discuss timing and such and then appear to be unaware of COVID risks and that yeah, this isn’t a great time to have a baby, that might explain her demeanor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose to have a baby now but you should have been considering the risks when you thought about conceiving and maybe your OB got the vibe that you were being flippant or something. No way to say though without knowing the context.

So it's ok for an OB to moralize to patients and chastise them for making a personal decision to start a family during a public health crisis? Which, by the way, isn't having an outsize impact on pregnant people or babies? And are you also aware, many people get pregnant without meaning to? SMH.

https://www.contagionlive.com/news/newborns-not-at-increased-perinatal-covid19-risk

https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-advisory/articles/2020/03/novel-coronavirus-2019

Show me where OP's OB "moralized and chastised" her. Saying that now is not a great time to be pregnant because of COVID is neither.

[Anonymous]

As others have said, she was probably just trying to emphasize how dangerous COVID is for you and your baby so you take extra care. If I were pregnant, I would probably limit to the most minimal social interaction I could for the duration of the pregnancy -- let your spouse do the shopping, etc.

But I think it is a red flag that you might want to look for a doctor who is more aligned with how you feel comfortable being treated.

To share a similar story -- When I went to my first appointment, there was a new OB with the practice we were at, and we met with her to talk about things. I noted that I was a vegetarian and had been for more than a decade, so I was willing to try to eat a little meat if it were necessary, but I really had no desire or interest in eating it. On the one hand, she told me that was fine as long as I ate healthy. On the other, she made a weird snide comment about her own daughter "insisting" on being a vegetarian during her pregnancy and how she tore badly because of it. It made me feel so bad -- similar to what you seem to be feeling -- and the whole thing seemed really unnecessary. I was already worried about how pregnancy would impact my body, and this was NOT what I needed to hear.

FWIW, I did stay with the practice but delivered with someone else in the practice and was very happy with it, but I never forgot it. Oh, and I stayed a vegetarian and did not tear more than a small and normal amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to know without being there but perhaps you didnt appear aware or concerned about the risks in conceiving and having a baby now. All of us who are getting ready to give birth now got pregnant pre pandemic so we didn’t make a choice to have a baby in the middle of this. If you didn’t have a preconception appointment with your OB to discuss timing and such and then appear to be unaware of COVID risks and that yeah, this isn’t a great time to have a baby, that might explain her demeanor. I’m not saying it’s wrong to choose to have a baby now but you should have been considering the risks when you thought about conceiving and maybe your OB got the vibe that you were being flippant or something. No way to say though without knowing the context.

So it's ok for an OB to moralize to patients and chastise them for making a personal decision to start a family during a public health crisis? Which, by the way, isn't having an outsize impact on pregnant people or babies? And are you also aware, many people get pregnant without meaning to? SMH.

https://www.contagionlive.com/news/newborns-not-at-increased-perinatal-covid19-risk

https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/practice-advisory/articles/2020/03/novel-coronavirus-2019

Show me where OP's OB "moralized and chastised" her. Saying that now is not a great time to be pregnant because of COVID is neither.

Telling a pregnant woman she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant is just mean.

[Anonymous]

It’s indisputable fact that now is not a good time to be pregnant and deliver. I’m due next week and the last 6 months of this pregnancy have been incredibly stressful and I dread bringing a newborn into this situation. Every time I have to go to the hospital or the doctor I have to worry about COVID. Or frankly, go to the pharmacy or even just go outside. That’s not personal OP. It’s reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s indisputable fact that now is not a good time to be pregnant and deliver. I’m due next week and the last 6 months of this pregnancy have been incredibly stressful and I dread bringing a newborn into this situation. Every time I have to go to the hospital or the doctor I have to worry about COVID. Or frankly, go to the pharmacy or even just go outside. That’s not personal OP. It’s reality.

I'm sorry it's so stressful. I think, though, that OBs don't need to make it worse! There's nothing she is going to do about being pregnant at this point, so it seems like her doctor should be level-setting with her but also giving her solutions and steps she can take -- not just scaring her.