How Involved Are Men in Wedding Planning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We both picked out a venue and decided on where to cater in food. I was hoping he would be a little more involved in picking out colors for the bridesmaids. We are getting married in the fall and will have a very neutral color palette with some green. I have been having a trouble deciding between a forest/emerald greenor a wine color for bridesmaids. I thought he would have more of an opinion but he doesn't seem to care that much.

He doesn’t care and neither will 95% of your guests. Everyone just wants to eat, drink free booze, and mingle/party and doesn’t give a $hit about your dress, your flowers, your colors, your table arrangements, etc.

I don’t think this is true.
I have been to weddings where it was clear the couple didn’t care very much and wasn’t really involved in the planning, and they aren’t as much fun. Think office Christmas party. There is still food, booze, and mingling, but it feels impersonal.

The most fun weddings are the ones with a lot of personal touches. Colors might not be his thing, but I would put him in charge of something. Have him choose some of the music or make sure that his favorite drink or dessert is there or order pizza at midnight from the greasy place you used to go to when the bars closed.

[Anonymous]

Future grooms and father of the brides should stay out of wedding planning. Fathers could suffer severe collateral damage and grooms are nothing but an accessory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We both picked out a venue and decided on where to cater in food. I was hoping he would be a little more involved in picking out colors for the bridesmaids. We are getting married in the fall and will have a very neutral color palette with some green. I have been having a trouble deciding between a forest/emerald greenor a wine color for bridesmaids. I thought he would have more of an opinion but he doesn't seem to care that much.

He doesn’t care and neither will 95% of your guests. Everyone just wants to eat, drink free booze, and mingle/party and doesn’t give a $hit about your dress, your flowers, your colors, your table arrangements, etc.

I don’t think this is true.
I have been to weddings where it was clear the couple didn’t care very much and wasn’t really involved in the planning, and they aren’t as much fun. Think office Christmas party. There is still food, booze, and mingling, but it feels impersonal.

The most fun weddings are the ones with a lot of personal touches. Colors might not be his thing, but I would put him in charge of something. Have him choose some of the music or make sure that his favorite drink or dessert is there or order pizza at midnight from the greasy place you used to go to when the bars closed.

People care about and remember the food, drinks and enertainment they really don't care about the brides' dress, what the attendants are wearing and the flowers. Unless the atmosphere is a total dump or people are sweating or freezing to death or there's a persistent unpleasant odor and the sound of an oncoming train they don't care.

!. Food
2. Booze
3. Entertainment.
Spend your money on these 3 things, mak sure these are done right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is it normal for men not be that involved?

Well duh, the wedding is ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE, he is just an accessory.

Thank goodness someone else shares my thoughts...

[Anonymous]

OP, fwiw, my husband absolutely got to be the planning princess for our wedding. We had a great time and did what we wanted, but it was my second wedding, his first, and I knew I didn't really care all that much about anything in particular. We had a few non-negotiables on either side of fairly minor consequence (I insisted we did the hora at the reception, he insisted on a lifesize cut-out of his brother who was deployed at the time...I may have just outted myself here...). Anyway, my point is that I was definitely in your fiance's role in our scenario, and it didn't mean I was any less into the idea of being married.

[Anonymous]

Not very.

[Anonymous]

According to my sister her husband just agreed to everything she liked.

My other siste;s husband was vey involved.


Both seem happy and commited.