Is there a dating market for...

[Anonymous]

I'm 44. Most men in their forties are divorced with kids. The ones who have never been married are often....socially awkward, not really looking for a great relationship, or otherwise somehow flawed.

YOU ARE 32. That is a great age because there are still many single men in their thirties who are very dateable who may be looking to get married. Target men who are 31 to 36. Trust me on this. Don't waste your time on men in their forties until you reach your early 40s and dont have any other choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

Yes, OP can get a clean slate at her age, but the reality is that there are not that many quality men in their mid to late 40s, even early 40s, who were never married, and who do not have major issues. Good guys - successful, good looking, kind etc - get taken earlier. OP your preference for guys 15 years older than you is not very smart. By targeting men that much older than you, you are either going to get bachelors with issues, or divorced guys with baggage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44. Most men in their forties are divorced with kids. The ones who have never been married are often....socially awkward, not really looking for a great relationship, or otherwise somehow flawed.

YOU ARE 32. That is a great age because there are still many single men in their thirties who are very dateable who may be looking to get married. Target men who are 31 to 36. Trust me on this. Don't waste your time on men in their forties until you reach your early 40s and dont have any other choice.

I wrote this. I just read another post about who guys in their thirties date women.

Yeah...I kind of think guys three years are younger than me dont have as good dating manners. That does seem to be true. But that's partly because women their age put up with that BS. Don't have sex with a guy who "doesnt want to label things" and isnt taking you on real dates. Before sex, have a convo about what he wants, whether you are exclusive, etc. Women your generation DO put up with a lot of poor treatment with ambiguous men. Yall seem to let men jerk you around and treat you poorly let you just keep sleeping with them despite the poor treatment. Just....stop putting up with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

Yes, OP can get a clean slate at her age, but the reality is that there are not that many quality men in their mid to late 40s, even early 40s, who were never married, and who do not have major issues. Good guys - successful, good looking, kind etc - get taken earlier. OP your preference for guys 15 years older than you is not very smart. By targeting men that much older than you, you are either going to get bachelors with issues, or divorced guys with baggage

Strictly in terms of the quality of men available and their willingness to settle down, the best time for OP to have acted on this preference would have been early to mid 20s. After 40 unless you’re dating A list celebrities I agree the never-married men are often single for good reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

Yes, OP can get a clean slate at her age, but the reality is that there are not that many quality men in their mid to late 40s, even early 40s, who were never married, and who do not have major issues. Good guys - successful, good looking, kind etc - get taken earlier. OP your preference for guys 15 years older than you is not very smart. By targeting men that much older than you, you are either going to get bachelors with issues, or divorced guys with baggage

Strictly in terms of the quality of men available and their willingness to settle down, the best time for OP to have acted on this preference would have been early to mid 20s. After 40 unless you’re dating A list celebrities I agree the never-married men are often single for good reason.

Do you live in the midwest or the south? there are many single men in their thirties in DC. 32 is still young in DC. Most women in DC are not getting married by their mid 20s. But OP should not waste a second of her early to mid thirties on men who are not also in their thirties. OP, target men 31 to 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not go on bumble and make your lead picture one where you’re holding up three fingers or something. Then one of us guys on here can have a photo of a similar thing and we could connect and if you like us you can swipe right.

You're going to swipe through thousands of profiles looking for the one random DCUM woman with 3 fingers up? Dude...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced guys with baggage? Sure they are a dime a dozen. Plenty of these midlife losers out there. Take your pick. They will see charming and wonderful. You might want to check in with their prior wives/girlfriends for the truth.

I would never want someone else’s baggage. You are young. Go for a clean slate.

This is so true. OP, you have no idea.

I’ve been dating divorced men in your demographic and they’re all scared of intimacy and being hurt and refuse to consider another LTR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

For the sake of a thought exercise, these are the things that I have found off putting about men under 35 (male friends, coworkers, ex boyfriends, male relatives) that I don’t see as much in men over 40:

Not being geographically settled so to speak, always leaving the idea of moving across the country on the table, leaving me wondering if this is a serious relationship worth pursuing
Being really into video games
Having overly “woke” politics (I’m quite left leaning on economic issues, but the online “woke” discourse is kind of off-putting”)
Not having a more classic or old fashioned sense of dating. I liked the way my sisters dated in the 90s: guys asked them out, they went on dates, then they were boyfriend and girlfriend. None of this ambiguous “seeing each other” and “not being about labels”
Being too into social media and on their phones
Tastes in music and cultural references
Goofiness and cutesiness in the bedroom. Not into that at all.

Oh, you posted before about the goofy bedroom behavior. Not sure this is the answet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 44. Most men in their forties are divorced with kids. The ones who have never been married are often....socially awkward, not really looking for a great relationship, or otherwise somehow flawed.

YOU ARE 32. That is a great age because there are still many single men in their thirties who are very dateable who may be looking to get married. Target men who are 31 to 36. Trust me on this. Don't waste your time on men in their forties until you reach your early 40s and dont have any other choice.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course there is.

I don't want to be a jerk, but you do sound immature. Like a high school student trying to justify her relationship with a man in college. I find nothing wrong with age gaps, but your long defense of something you haven't done just sounds sad and try hard.

+800 (what you’re describing is actually quite normal)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

For the sake of a thought exercise, these are the things that I have found off putting about men under 35 (male friends, coworkers, ex boyfriends, male relatives) that I don’t see as much in men over 40:

Not being geographically settled so to speak, always leaving the idea of moving across the country on the table, leaving me wondering if this is a serious relationship worth pursuing
Being really into video games
Having overly “woke” politics (I’m quite left leaning on economic issues, but the online “woke” discourse is kind of off-putting”)
Not having a more classic or old fashioned sense of dating. I liked the way my sisters dated in the 90s: guys asked them out, they went on dates, then they were boyfriend and girlfriend. None of this ambiguous “seeing each other” and “not being about labels”
Being too into social media and on their phones
Tastes in music and cultural references
Goofiness and cutesiness in the bedroom. Not into that at all.

Sounds like you know losers. (Signed 4 year age gap in marriage)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, of course. Might be a divorced guy though

Divorced men, with or without children, is fine by me. As long as the divorce is clean and over without residual drama.

I’m a divorced 52yo guy I would absolutely love to get remarried to someone and have one more child. I have two now and the third with a new person would be great. I am very fit and healthy.

This is not the path of wisdom. Even if the kid isn’t autistic, you’re going to be in your 70s when the kid is in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced guys with baggage? Sure they are a dime a dozen. Plenty of these midlife losers out there. Take your pick. They will see charming and wonderful. You might want to check in with their prior wives/girlfriends for the truth.

I would never want someone else’s baggage. You are young. Go for a clean slate.

This is so true. OP, you have no idea.

I’ve been dating divorced men in your demographic and they’re all scared of intimacy and being hurt and refuse to consider another LTR.

Huh? I don’t know any divorced guys in their 40s who aren’t looking for an LTR.

Maybe not with you but that’s not necessarily a problem with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, of course. Might be a divorced guy though

Divorced men, with or without children, is fine by me. As long as the divorce is clean and over without residual drama.

If they have children it won't ever be over. Then come the grand children.

A guy without kids is what you should look for OP. Nothing over 12 years because that will make for a lot of problems down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, of course. Might be a divorced guy though

Divorced men, with or without children, is fine by me. As long as the divorce is clean and over without residual drama.

If there are children (even if they are no longer minors), there is residue. It can be happy residue, but it is there.