Is there a dating market for...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be real here. Do you have a good career? Are you making a good salary?

Or is it really that you want a guy that is established with $ and owns a home?

You don’t want to work, correct?

I know four couples with this approximate age gap. 3 of them make equivalent salaries, the 4th woman out earns her husband by ~$5M according to her company’s latest SEC filing.

[Anonymous]

Divorced guys with baggage? Sure they are a dime a dozen. Plenty of these midlife losers out there. Take your pick. They will see charming and wonderful. You might want to check in with their prior wives/girlfriends for the truth.

I would never want someone else’s baggage. You are young. Go for a clean slate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be real here. Do you have a good career? Are you making a good salary?

Or is it really that you want a guy that is established with $ and owns a home?

You don’t want to work, correct?

I know four couples with this approximate age gap. 3 of them make equivalent salaries, the 4th woman out earns her husband by ~$5M according to her company’s latest SEC filing.

Yeah. Ok. I’m 100% sure OP is not one of the unicorns you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course there is.

I don't want to be a jerk, but you do sound immature. Like a high school student trying to justify her relationship with a man in college. I find nothing wrong with age gaps, but your long defense of something you haven't done just sounds sad and try hard.

Judge how you may, I was only anticipating inevitable questions as to why I would have this preference. Long and short of it is I haven't really found compatibility with men close in age to me, but have connected better (at least as friends) with men that are older. I don't think of it as a superiority thing, it is what it is. It's not "trying hard", more like "trying something else."

Your response has nothing to do with what I said. Date who you want, but you seem very "off". If I can pick that up from 2 posts, then trust me, any decent guy is picking up the same thing and running. Regardless of his age.

If that's your opinion, then fine.

Correct, it is my opinion. You continue to sound immature. Another opinion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s be real here. Do you have a good career? Are you making a good salary?

Or is it really that you want a guy that is established with $ and owns a home?

You don’t want to work, correct?

I do have a good career. I do fine by myself. Of course I would prefer a dual income, who wouldn't? It matters less that someone is a high earner, but it matters more that they are settled, established, and not so up-in-the-air about where they'll end up in five years. Thinking about it, I guess I'm tired of dating men who seem to have one foot in/one foot out the door in terms of living here. So maybe as long as they are over the generational transience hump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, of course. Might be a divorced guy though

Divorced men, with or without children, is fine by me. As long as the divorce is clean and over without residual drama.

I’m a divorced 52yo guy I would absolutely love to get remarried to someone and have one more child. I have two now and the third with a new person would be great. I am very fit and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah. My husband is 12 years older but I wouldn’t have touched him with a 10 foot pole if there was an ex-wife and kids. Don’t settle for that if you have literally any other choice.

+1,000

You can get a clean slate at your age.

For the sake of a thought exercise, these are the things that I have found off putting about men under 35 (male friends, coworkers, ex boyfriends, male relatives) that I don’t see as much in men over 40:

Not being geographically settled so to speak, always leaving the idea of moving across the country on the table, leaving me wondering if this is a serious relationship worth pursuing
Being really into video games
Having overly “woke” politics (I’m quite left leaning on economic issues, but the online “woke” discourse is kind of off-putting”)
Not having a more classic or old fashioned sense of dating. I liked the way my sisters dated in the 90s: guys asked them out, they went on dates, then they were boyfriend and girlfriend. None of this ambiguous “seeing each other” and “not being about labels”
Being too into social media and on their phones
Tastes in music and cultural references
Goofiness and cutesiness in the bedroom. Not into that at all.

[Anonymous]

I know someone! Never married, ex-military with a pension and contracting job. Wants kids and just bought a house.

[Anonymous]

Why not go on bumble and make your lead picture one where you’re holding up three fingers or something. Then one of us guys on here can have a photo of a similar thing and we could connect and if you like us you can swipe right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, of course. Might be a divorced guy though

Divorced men, with or without children, is fine by me. As long as the divorce is clean and over without residual drama.

I think this is where you might run into problems. There is usually residual drama, particularly if children are involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:early 30s women seeking 40 or 45+ men?

Of course, there are *always* older men pursuing younger women. But I'm not talking 50 year olds with 25 year olds. I'm talking a moderately wide age difference of 10-15, maybe 20 years.

As far as children go, I'd like to have one child, but it is not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. I am a very happy aunt. I could also be a fine stepmom provided that there was no pre-existing drama. Yes I realize those are big "ifs", but my point is having children is not the be-all end-all in what I am looking for in a relationship. I am looking for a life partner first and foremost.

This isn't meant to be a humblebrag about being oh-so-mature compared with men my own age, but I just haven't been able to establish a successful relationship with a man closer in age. Too many compatibility issues, and a lot of it is generational and cultural. Maybe it's because I grew up with older Gen X sisters and identify more with them and their preferences and liked how their relationships panned out, as opposed to the relationships I have had. It's also possibly worth mentioning that I spent the bulk of my 20s living outside the United States. Who knows. All I know is the men I've "clicked" with, who are American, the most have been older. Again, could be a grass is greener thing, but I've often felt a connection with men of this age group who were married or taken or gay or otherwise unavailable (though I did not pursue anything for obvious reasons, more of a "wouldn't it be nice...") Anyways, I could keep fathoming about the reason why, but I'm attracted to and seem to get along better with men in their 40s and early 50s. Judge that how you will. What I'm wondering is what the dating "market" is like, and what the dynamic is like, if there is a different dynamic between say, a 45 y/o man with a 32 y/o woman versus the classic example of the possible "sugar daddy" or older guy with a woman in her early 20s.

Most research shows that marriages with age gap’s this big don’t fare well. Trust me that as you get older you will change your tune on this. You are also very likely to change your mind about children, and you will not want to have children with a guy who is in his 50s. Learn from my experience and the experience of many other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course there is.

I don't want to be a jerk, but you do sound immature. Like a high school student trying to justify her relationship with a man in college. I find nothing wrong with age gaps, but your long defense of something you haven't done just sounds sad and try hard.

Judge how you may, I was only anticipating inevitable questions as to why I would have this preference. Long and short of it is I haven't really found compatibility with men close in age to me, but have connected better (at least as friends) with men that are older. I don't think of it as a superiority thing, it is what it is. It's not "trying hard", more like "trying something else."

Your response has nothing to do with what I said. Date who you want, but you seem very "off". If I can pick that up from 2 posts, then trust me, any decent guy is picking up the same thing and running. Regardless of his age.

Agreed. Something is weird about this post.

[Anonymous]

48 yo man here.

Of course I would dare you if we connected. But I am not interested in someone who wants to be taken care of and I don’t want to start a second family. Those are my terms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced guys with baggage? Sure they are a dime a dozen. Plenty of these midlife losers out there. Take your pick. They will see charming and wonderful. You might want to check in with their prior wives/girlfriends for the truth.

I would never want someone else’s baggage. You are young. Go for a clean slate.

This is so true. OP, you have no idea.