Be honest - did you have your second only to give your first a sibling? How did it work out?

[Anonymous]

It wasn't the only reason we had a second child, but it was a big part of it for me. I loved growing up with two siblings and we are still close as adults. We didn't always get along as kids, and we are different in many respects as adults, but we genuinely enjoy each other's company. I wanted my firstborn to have the experience of having a sibling even though there are no guarantees that they will have a close relationship. In fact, my DH and his sibling never got along and are not close. He viewed a second child as being a potential disadvantage to our firstborn given all of the issues my DH has had with his own sibling.

I also wanted the experience of being a parent to two kids. So we had a second.

It's been great so far. My second child is very different from my first but they seem to get along really well. I hope that will always be the case.

[Anonymous]

Definitely only had the second b/c I was “supposed” to. Definitely think having just one would have been way easier and I am such a better parent of one than of two.

But my second is such an awesome kid and so much fun and out lives would be so boring without her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely only had the second b/c I was “supposed” to. Definitely think having just one would have been way easier and I am such a better parent of one than of two.

But my second is such an awesome kid and so much fun and out lives would be so boring without her.

This is pretty much how I feel.

[Anonymous]

My 2nd is great. Having a 2nd shows you that love can grow. I never wanted my kid to be an only child. I have a few cousins who are only children and they basically spent all their time with my siblings and I. 2 of my cousins have loss parents and seeing them go through that alone was tough. We are a supportive family but it's a different experience having siblings that have the same parents and life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely only had the second b/c I was “supposed” to. Definitely think having just one would have been way easier and I am such a better parent of one than of two.

But my second is such an awesome kid and so much fun and out lives would be so boring without her.

Exactly this. And I got my girl! I have one of each so feel like it’s perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I could be done with one but her not having a sibling relationship gives me pause but at the same time I don’t want to have another kid just for that reason. Anyone have 2 to give your first a sibling and regret it?

Absolutely do not regret it. The only way we've been able to make it through this pandemic is because my kids have each other to play with. If I had an only child, I'd be definitely taking the risk and enrolling him/her in camps, begging for hybrid school, etc.

[Anonymous]

2 was harder at first, but now, it's much easier. The two play together, which frees me up to do whatever. It also easier to get them both off the screens because they have each other to play with. If I had an only, I'm betting s/he would be online all day long.

[Anonymous]

Yes/No. We weren't really planning on having another one...but here we are.

[Anonymous]

Not really, I wanted another and my daughter is so nurturing and caring she will make a great sister. I Know 2 will
Be harder, but I also hope at some point they keep
Each other busy

[Anonymous]

It was absolutely the reason. I have no shame in being honest about that.

If anything were to happen to Dh and I, I would not have wanted my first to be family-less. My parents and dh’s parents were immigrants, we don’t have a huge network of aunts, uncles, etc living in America.

I could not imagine life now without my second child. He is the most amazing person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an Only and love being an only. I know too many people who have meh or horrible relationships with their siblings. And my parents are older and my Mom is having significant health issues. I’m so grateful that I don’t also have to be negotiating and checking with a sibling about what we should do.

There is no guarantee that your kids will get along. Have a another kid if you want another kid. Don’t do it for some rosy fantasy that your kids will have each other. Would you have this kid if you knew they would be at odds with each other for the rest of their lives? And that the relationship would only cause conflict in each other’s lives?

Read One and Only

https://smile.amazon.com/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child/dp/1451626967/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=one+and+only+book&qid=1595773818&sr=8-3

Ugh this book always get recommended here whenever this topic comes up. The author basically justifies why she has one child. It’s completely one-sided. I’m an only child and disagrees with a lot of what she says.

She quotes research. If you disagree and can find research to back you up, write your own book.

[Anonymous]

Honestly babies shouldn’t have jobs in the family dynamic . They are not born to be siblings, fix marriages or please eager grandparents. Their role is to be who they are and that is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not really, I wanted another and my daughter is so nurturing and caring she will make a great sister. I Know 2 will
Be harder, but I also hope at some point they keep
Each other busy

Is this some kind of poem? Who writes like this?

[Anonymous]

No but I did get a second dog once just to keep my first dog company while I was at work, someone to play with.

It didn't go well although I imagine some people do this and it does go well.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't my reason, but it was her father's reason. They are now 3 and 1 and the best of friends that they could be considering the ages. No regrets. Even though I am a young single mom with no money. Way better than 1 child.