When your kid doesn’t want you at Move-In

[Anonymous]

Assuming you’re allowed to all come and you want to, I would just tell her I was going along and reassure her that I won’t stay too long and will try not to embarrass her. I don’t think she gets to make the decision.

It’s good you are conscious of your mom’s narcissistic tendencies but the answer isn’t to let your daughter call all the shots or dictate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There must be something about your behavior that mortified your daughter. What don you think it is?

A lot of 17 yo are mortified by 100% normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

I remember not wanting a parent there. I love my mom, but she always brought too much nervous energy to these events. All my milestones were just waaaay too important to her.

OP, it is great you are aware of your mom's shortcomings. Next thing is to step back a big.

[Anonymous]

I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

[Anonymous]

Move-in isn’t until January or later OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

Drop the umbilical cord.

[Anonymous]

I remember being self conscious of my mom during freshman move-in day. There were a lot of emotions going on for me and my mom. I was worried she would cry or embarrass me in some way in front of my potential new friends. It was different in HS because I already knew everyone and we felt comfortable around each other.

[Anonymous]

Aww. I'm sorry. I love my mom but wouldn't want her moving me anywhere even today. She's super opinionated and usually right--which can be annoying!

Be chill. Send a care package. You are a good mom. It's hard for kids of narcissists to manage hurt feelings bc you didn't get a great example. But you are doing a good job. You don't have to be BFFs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

Drop the umbilical cord.

Lol you are funny! I am sure you are very popular with your large group of friends who appreciate the heck out of your simplistic, unsophisticated, aphorism-driven homespun advice! Thanks, Dear Abby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 17 I was still super embarrassed of my parents.

I was jealous of kids that had their parents fussing over them and being very present at move in. I was too on my own. Maybe that seems cool but it is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

Drop the umbilical cord.

Lol you are funny! I am sure you are very popular with your large group of friends who appreciate the heck out of your simplistic, unsophisticated, aphorism-driven homespun advice! Thanks, Dear Abby!

Sorry, but the kid isn’t being inconsiderate. It’s the kid’s day, not mom’s or dad’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

Drop the umbilical cord.

Lol you are funny! I am sure you are very popular with your large group of friends who appreciate the heck out of your simplistic, unsophisticated, aphorism-driven homespun advice! Thanks, Dear Abby!

Sorry, but the kid isn’t being inconsiderate. It’s the kid’s day, not mom’s or dad’s.

Sorry but they are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Sending a student through college is often a heavy lift for the entire family. Important but it is not like they are being dropped at summer camp for a couple weeks.

[Anonymous]

Meant important AND it is not like getting dropped at camp. Do what works for your family which may be very different then the choices made by another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to go against the grain and support you 100%, OP. Kiddo is being extremely inconsiderate of how difficult the separation is for parents. It’s a couple of hours and then you are gone. She’ll regret this behavior big time later in life.

1. She won’t regret this.

2. Not about mom.