Mom friend drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ick posts like this make me nervous for DC to start ES

can't believe cliques are still a thing as 30-40 year old women!

I have two ES kids and have never encountered this. It's not everywhere or everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was once sitting at a parent event talking to a another mom. We were sitting on the floor with our kids, talking while waiting for things to start. Another mom came up, smiled and started talking to the other mom without looking at me, and literally sat down inches from me in front of me so that I was no longer part of the conversation with the other mom. It was the weirdest, rudest thing ever. I still wonder if she knew what she was doing or was just totally oblivious. Parents can be weird, and it isn't worth the drama. Do what is best for you as a family -- your kid is young and will make friends with anyone you pod with.

This has happened to me in a bunch of different situations and I am always so confounded. I think most of the time people truly are just oblivious, or are just being awkward. Like I think often people just don't have the social skills to introduce themselves to someone they don't know, or to say "Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt but I really wanted to say hi before we got started" or whatever to just acknowledge your presence. I do think sometimes people are being intentional about it. I remember there was one woman in in my new mom's group who would always do this to me if she came in and I was talking to her "bestie" in the group. She was definitely trying to make it clear that this was HER friend. It was so dumb.

I used to take this personally but I've realized that it has nothing to do with me -- it's just people with limited social skills and lots of insecurity acting out. I think having a kid actually make it easier for me to deal with behavior like this, because it's the exact same behaviors you see in young kids as they learn how to navigate socializing and friendship. It makes me genuinely sad how many adults apparently never got the guidance to do this well, or gained the self-awareness and empathy to interact with people in a non-competitive, open-hearted way. It just makes me double down on making sure my kid does get those skills.

This is a very kind and thoughtful way to think about the dynamic
I think that some of these women are very cunning and narcissistic, they don’t want to say hi because they don’t want to be seen saying hi to anyone not deemed worthy!
I agree it’s sad and underscores their insecurity but I also think it’s deliberate

I usually feel relieved as they walk by

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do not want to be in a pod with these people

OP yes agreed but I do want DD to be with some of her friends and she’s very social

The kids will almost always eventually end up just like their parents, because that’s what they see and how they’re taught to behave—and that type of behavior is never corrected or called out.

If you aren’t comfortable with the way the parents act, you certainly don’t want your child to end up dealing with the same nonsense later on. It’s not A big deal if you just don’t have anything in common with the parents, but if their values are that different, why would you want to subject either of you to it?