I am a terrible SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

It was far harder 100+ years ago.

Lol, it absolutely was not. My grandpa and great uncles were actually a net benefit to my great grandma as they could help on the farm or later, work in the family store. If they weren’t in school or contributing to the family business, they could disappear to any old place. Maw maws life was hard for many other reasons but her “mom gig” was not the main reason.

Agreed! Life was hard. Being a mom just sort of happened without the volumes of expectations and self-reflection expected from us today.

Oh yeah living with the inescapable and incurable diseases like polio which paralyzed 1 in every 1,000 kids and crippled many more was a walk in the park.

As was feeding your kids without social nets like supplement assistance, unemployment, paid time office, and sick leave.

Health insurance also didn't exist. Your kid broke their arm? Uncle Jimmy will snap it back in place if you don't have $50 cash to pay the doctor every time.

I think I'll look for a more authoritative historiographer! LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: So you come here and post something generic and expect virtual hugs? You could be beating your kids like crazy over there...

Funny...you're the only one to whom this thought occurred. Coincidence?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

Give me a break. Today's homes have electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, automobiles, grocery stores. Today women have it easy. The problem is laziness. You hire surrogates to have your babies, nannies to rear them. Get off your arse OP and be an adult and a decent parent!

Guessing you're feeling deprived of one or more of these things...

[Anonymous]

Some women aren't cut out to be a SAHM. My sister could not wait to go back to work after my niece was born. Doesn't make her a bad mom, though. Don't be so hard on yourself, if you know where you might be lacking, try to do better.

[Anonymous]

Me too, OP. It never occurred to me prior to having a kid just how much I’d suck at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

It was far harder 100+ years ago.

Everything was harder 100 years ago. So?

[Anonymous]

I’m with you OP. I didn’t realize how mad I’d be about cleaning up after other people all day. It doesn’t even take that much time I just resent it so much because it’s gratuitous mess. I also hate cooking so quarantine has been a nightmare. I was ok before when we could have a ton of outings to museums, libraries, parks, etc but now I am just stressed about the world and am having a very hard time wanting to engage. I’m also still depressed about having to shelve (yet again) plans for projects I was going to work on this year when our youngest started PK. I loved the baby stage FWIW. Low pressure, just keep them alive. Now they ask me for s#!t all day along and I’m so annoyed. I have nothing left to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

Give me a break. Today's homes have electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, automobiles, grocery stores. Today women have it easy. The problem is laziness. You hire surrogates to have your babies, nannies to rear them. Get off your arse OP and be an adult and a decent parent!

Today women are expected to work successful careers while also maintaining a spotless home, cooking from scratch, and facilitating Pinterest-worthy enrichment activities starting in infancy. And of course "bouncing back" after childbirth, because otherwise their husbands will cheat.

Please don't make ignorant remarks about surrogacy being out of laziness. Unless you've got the income of a celebrity, it's a difficult decision and often costs over $150,000, which is a lot of money for 99% of the population. My friends who went through it worked like crazy and saved every penny for nearly a decade. They would not have been able to have a biological child any other way.

That is ridiculous. You are setting unrealistic standards for yourself and crying because you can’t meet them. Lower the bar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m with you OP. I didn’t realize how mad I’d be about cleaning up after other people all day. It doesn’t even take that much time I just resent it so much because it’s gratuitous mess. I also hate cooking so quarantine has been a nightmare. I was ok before when we could have a ton of outings to museums, libraries, parks, etc but now I am just stressed about the world and am having a very hard time wanting to engage. I’m also still depressed about having to shelve (yet again) plans for projects I was going to work on this year when our youngest started PK. I loved the baby stage FWIW. Low pressure, just keep them alive. Now they ask me for s#!t all day along and I’m so annoyed. I have nothing left to give.

You’re right... you are a terrible mother. Many people are doing what you do WHILE HOLDING DOWN A JOB. And you can’t even hold it together with preschoolers and above!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an even worse working mom. I’m beginning to think I am just a bad mom.

I understand OP. I often feel the same way. I work out, take anti-anxiety medication, pray, sleep 8 hours, read parenting books, make resolutions not to yell, and .... I'm still high-strung, prone to getting overwhelmed/getting angry/yelling. It's like I'm a student who spends all day studying only to get a C. But children know when they are loved. So I take comfort in that.

I doubt your children know they are loved. Read what you wrote! The hoops that are required to adopt a child should also be mandatory for women having babies.

Are adoptive mothers perfect? Do they never become impatient or yell? Wow, wasn’t aware of that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an even worse working mom. I’m beginning to think I am just a bad mom.

I understand OP. I often feel the same way. I work out, take anti-anxiety medication, pray, sleep 8 hours, read parenting books, make resolutions not to yell, and .... I'm still high-strung, prone to getting overwhelmed/getting angry/yelling. It's like I'm a student who spends all day studying only to get a C. But children know when they are loved. So I take comfort in that.

I doubt your children know they are loved. Read what you wrote! The hoops that are required to adopt a child should also be mandatory for women having babies.

Are adoptive mothers perfect? Do they never become impatient or yell? Wow, wasn’t aware of that

With enough cash, anyone can adopt. The hoops aren't that much.