I am a terrible SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you are a terrible mother. How can you improve and what do you need to change? I’m sure you love your kids and work to keep them safe so what can you do to remove the “terrible” from your self-definition?

+1. Look, we all know terrible mothers. If you truly are one - change.

[Anonymous]

What do you think you're bad at? Is the parenting part? (I ask that because working and staying at home both have other components).

Did you just always feel stressed and therefore not able to be your best self?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have started putting earbuds in and playing classical music during the day. The kids seem so much less stressful when I can’t hear every annoying argument or whining.

THIS!!!

I put my noise-canceling headphones on sometimes and then I can't hear them arguing or whining while I'm trying to get stuff done. So far no one has died or even been injured, so I'm calling it a win. Although my husband did get annoyed that I couldn't hear him one time, but I thought that was funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an even worse working mom. I’m beginning to think I am just a bad mom.

I understand OP. I often feel the same way. I work out, take anti-anxiety medication, pray, sleep 8 hours, read parenting books, make resolutions not to yell, and .... I'm still high-strung, prone to getting overwhelmed/getting angry/yelling. It's like I'm a student who spends all day studying only to get a C. But children know when they are loved. So I take comfort in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

Give me a break. Today's homes have electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, automobiles, grocery stores. Today women have it easy. The problem is laziness. You hire surrogates to have your babies, nannies to rear them. Get off your arse OP and be an adult and a decent parent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an even worse working mom. I’m beginning to think I am just a bad mom.

I understand OP. I often feel the same way. I work out, take anti-anxiety medication, pray, sleep 8 hours, read parenting books, make resolutions not to yell, and .... I'm still high-strung, prone to getting overwhelmed/getting angry/yelling. It's like I'm a student who spends all day studying only to get a C. But children know when they are loved. So I take comfort in that.

I doubt your children know they are loved. Read what you wrote! The hoops that are required to adopt a child should also be mandatory for women having babies.

[Anonymous]

Yelling/verbal abuse is worse for children than spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yelling/verbal abuse is worse for children than spanking.

uh... there was a jump there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was an even worse working mom. I’m beginning to think I am just a bad mom.

I understand OP. I often feel the same way. I work out, take anti-anxiety medication, pray, sleep 8 hours, read parenting books, make resolutions not to yell, and .... I'm still high-strung, prone to getting overwhelmed/getting angry/yelling. It's like I'm a student who spends all day studying only to get a C. But children know when they are loved. So I take comfort in that.

I doubt your children know they are loved. Read what you wrote! The hoops that are required to adopt a child should also be mandatory for women having babies.

Oh man... I would have passed adoption hoops. Fancy degrees, money, in-shape, lots of volunteer work. I mean... the whole point of OP's post is that she is surprised that she doesn't feel like a good mother. Presumably, she *thought* she would be a good mother before she had children. And so often the women who have it the most together are the ones who are high-strung and feel the most overwhelmed. They are also the most self-critical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yelling/verbal abuse is worse for children than spanking.

Please don't hit your kids and then congratulate yourself on not yelling at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

Give me a break. Today's homes have electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, automobiles, grocery stores. Today women have it easy. The problem is laziness. You hire surrogates to have your babies, nannies to rear them. Get off your arse OP and be an adult and a decent parent!

Today women are expected to work successful careers while also maintaining a spotless home, cooking from scratch, and facilitating Pinterest-worthy enrichment activities starting in infancy. And of course "bouncing back" after childbirth, because otherwise their husbands will cheat.

Please don't make ignorant remarks about surrogacy being out of laziness. Unless you've got the income of a celebrity, it's a difficult decision and often costs over $150,000, which is a lot of money for 99% of the population. My friends who went through it worked like crazy and saved every penny for nearly a decade. They would not have been able to have a biological child any other way.

[Anonymous]

Me too op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Aww, hugs. The mom-gig is just hard, especially in our modern era, and even moreso in the middle of a global pandemic! How old are your kids?

Give me a break. Today's homes have electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, automobiles, grocery stores. Today women have it easy. The problem is laziness. You hire surrogates to have your babies, nannies to rear them. Get off your arse OP and be an adult and a decent parent!

You seem to know everyone and everything. Well, almost everything.. some kindness seems to be missing. I don’t know OP, or what she is going through. But I will give her the benefit of the doubt. People all over the world are having a really hard time right now, I am amazed how you seem to ignore that fact.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have started putting earbuds in and playing classical music during the day. The kids seem so much less stressful when I can’t hear every annoying argument or whining.

THIS!!!

I put my noise-canceling headphones on sometimes and then I can't hear them arguing or whining while I'm trying to get stuff done. So far no one has died or even been injured, so I'm calling it a win. Although my husband did get annoyed that I couldn't hear him one time, but I thought that was funny.

I’m so glad someone else does this!