Finally found my father

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were OP, I’d be concerned that biodad was a rapist given the mother’s attitude toward him and the fact she never even sought child support. I guess its always a good thing to give to suicide prevention groups but I’m not sure I’d want yo honor a man without knowing more about him.

As some one said, the mother’s version is suspect. She put up 3 kids for adoption and almost did the same with OP. That is not normal behavior. Now whether that’s due to trauma or not, we don’t know.

It’s weird that you jump to the rapist conclusion based on her not seeking child support. If she were raped, and had no trouble relinquishing the other kids, why keep a rapist’s child?

Well, it sounds like OP was her first pregnancy, so maybe she thought she could do it, and that it would be okay once OP was born. After OP was born, sounds like she had trouble bonding, so may have decided that early adoption would be better for the other babies. Most women do try to get child support, even if they hate the guy (or maybe especially if they hate the guy), so the fact that she didn't suggests that there was some reason like abuse that she didn't want him to know about the child. It does sound like OP's mom had significant issues, and I feel very sorry for OP that she grew up this way. It sounds like she now is in a great situation, though, with a husband who has a loving family and three kids of her own that she loves. I'd focus on that, and not on honoring biodad who she knows nothing about and who may have had issues that were equal to, or worse than, her mom's. I think people obsess over family of origin, when that's the one thing in your life that you really can't control. OP, you've made a great life for yourself, despite your bio parents -- focus on that.