Hunkering down: the long haul

[Anonymous]

The Mall and Target are slammed with families shopping in my area. It honestly feels like the Christmas surge.

Many families with young children are not wearing masks.

I don't see how kids can't go to school if they can roam the Mall and Target unfettered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30% of epidemiologists surveyed say that they would not personally send kids back to school until this winter, at the earliest (with half of those saying this date would be a year or more out).

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/upshot/epidemiologists-decisions-children-school-coronavirus.html

We think that if schools reopen, they are likely to do so in conditions that are either intolerable from a public health standpoint or that are so diminished/constrained that they're bad for kids' mental health (and probably adults').

We're considering what to do about this information. If you are also considering this, come on in to chat.

How many of them are working mom of young children? I don’t actually care what others think because they cant adequately weigh the costs and benefits.

It’s not their job to assess risk based on individual circumstances. They are simply stating the cost. We have to have all the information to make the calls for our individual circumstances.

DP, but they are only stating the cost as it relates to the virus. They’re not looking at the havoc wrought by extreme mitigation efforts. Yeah, I know that’s not their job, but it has to be someone’s job.

If people have the means to keep their kids home comfortably, great. If everyone is chronically stressed, that needs to factor into decision making. It’s not solely about COVID-19.

NP here. “Stress” is simply overused now. It’s not a deadly stress to deny your kid play dates or skip going to the mall. Yes, it’s difficult - and it’s different - but we all really have to learn to buck up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30% of epidemiologists surveyed say that they would not personally send kids back to school until this winter, at the earliest (with half of those saying this date would be a year or more out).

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/upshot/epidemiologists-decisions-children-school-coronavirus.html

We think that if schools reopen, they are likely to do so in conditions that are either intolerable from a public health standpoint or that are so diminished/constrained that they're bad for kids' mental health (and probably adults').

We're considering what to do about this information. If you are also considering this, come on in to chat.

How many of them are working mom of young children? I don’t actually care what others think because they cant adequately weigh the costs and benefits.

It’s not their job to assess risk based on individual circumstances. They are simply stating the cost. We have to have all the information to make the calls for our individual circumstances.

DP, but they are only stating the cost as it relates to the virus. They’re not looking at the havoc wrought by extreme mitigation efforts. Yeah, I know that’s not their job, but it has to be someone’s job.

If people have the means to keep their kids home comfortably, great. If everyone is chronically stressed, that needs to factor into decision making. It’s not solely about COVID-19.

If people have the means to keep their kids home UNCOMFORTABLY but possible they should. There are other ways to deal with stress than going back to a pre-COvId lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My husband and I (geneticist and virologist) are probably not sending our tween and teen to school until we’ve been vaccinated. We are anticipating Covid-19 cases, hospitalizations and deaths to surge with each attempt to open, and hope a vaccine will be available in 2021 (Dr. Fauci predicted early 2021).

Are you otherwise continuing to live in “stay at home” rules or have you shifted on any of that?

PP you replied to.

We are still teleworking, not seeing people socially and ordering online. We rented a Bay beach house with private beach we plan to drive to without stopping, and will disinfect surfaces once we arrive. We will probably have a physically distant picnic with one other family to celebrate our multiple missed birthdays. I am not inviting anyone to my house (we will need to let in someone from Verizon).

And for another PP, a surge for me would be a statistically significant increase in Covid-19 hospitalization and deaths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30% of epidemiologists surveyed say that they would not personally send kids back to school until this winter, at the earliest (with half of those saying this date would be a year or more out).

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/upshot/epidemiologists-decisions-children-school-coronavirus.html

We think that if schools reopen, they are likely to do so in conditions that are either intolerable from a public health standpoint or that are so diminished/constrained that they're bad for kids' mental health (and probably adults').

We're considering what to do about this information. If you are also considering this, come on in to chat.

How many of them are working mom of young children? I don’t actually care what others think because they cant adequately weigh the costs and benefits.

It’s not their job to assess risk based on individual circumstances. They are simply stating the cost. We have to have all the information to make the calls for our individual circumstances.

DP, but they are only stating the cost as it relates to the virus. They’re not looking at the havoc wrought by extreme mitigation efforts. Yeah, I know that’s not their job, but it has to be someone’s job.

If people have the means to keep their kids home comfortably, great. If everyone is chronically stressed, that needs to factor into decision making. It’s not solely about COVID-19.

If people have the means to keep their kids home UNCOMFORTABLY but possible they should. There are other ways to deal with stress than going back to a pre-COvId lifestyle.

To you and the previous PP: I think neither of you have an understanding of the impacts of chronic stress. Way too many people discount it, and that’s your choice, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about going back to a pre-COVID lifestyle, but I’m also not talking about denying kids social interaction. There’s a middle ground between back to “normal” and “hunkering down” entirely. I get that it feels easier to hole up and throw stones, but that’s not a healthy coping strategy.

[Anonymous]

I keep thinking that we’re going wrong in believing that returning to our previous before corona lifestyle is the only answer. I totally feel the stress too but that can’t justify just giving up and pretending the virus doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep thinking that we’re going wrong in believing that returning to our previous before corona lifestyle is the only answer. I totally feel the stress too but that can’t justify just giving up and pretending the virus doesn’t exist.

PP directly above you, and why are those your only choices? They’re not.

Here’s what we’re doing: getting together with a few other families, outside only. Our kids run around together and the adults stand apart. We don’t share food or drinks, we don’t go inside together.

I’m not comfortable spending time inside with other people, with the exception of once weekly grocery shopping, and during which I wear a mask. We’re not getting our hair done or pedicures, or eating inside at restaurants (or even outside), or going to malls, or planning to go to the gym. That, to me, feels like a reasonable middle ground. There is no solid evidence that outdoor transmission is robust in non-crowded settings, and there’s some evidence that kids don’t transmit the virus as much as adults do. The things we are doing have eased our stress considerably, and yes, that matters, *especially* when those things confer minimal risk of us contracting the virus. I’ll add that none of us are high-risk for complications, either, which we also take into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30% of epidemiologists surveyed say that they would not personally send kids back to school until this winter, at the earliest (with half of those saying this date would be a year or more out).

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/upshot/epidemiologists-decisions-children-school-coronavirus.html

We think that if schools reopen, they are likely to do so in conditions that are either intolerable from a public health standpoint or that are so diminished/constrained that they're bad for kids' mental health (and probably adults').

We're considering what to do about this information. If you are also considering this, come on in to chat.

How many of them are working mom of young children? I don’t actually care what others think because they cant adequately weigh the costs and benefits.

It’s not their job to assess risk based on individual circumstances. They are simply stating the cost. We have to have all the information to make the calls for our individual circumstances.

DP, but they are only stating the cost as it relates to the virus. They’re not looking at the havoc wrought by extreme mitigation efforts. Yeah, I know that’s not their job, but it has to be someone’s job.

If people have the means to keep their kids home comfortably, great. If everyone is chronically stressed, that needs to factor into decision making. It’s not solely about COVID-19.

If people have the means to keep their kids home UNCOMFORTABLY but possible they should. There are other ways to deal with stress than going back to a pre-COvId lifestyle.

To you and the previous PP: I think neither of you have an understanding of the impacts of chronic stress. Way too many people discount it, and that’s your choice, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about going back to a pre-COVID lifestyle, but I’m also not talking about denying kids social interaction. There’s a middle ground between back to “normal” and “hunkering down” entirely. I get that it feels easier to hole up and throw stones, but that’s not a healthy coping strategy.

You are misunderstanding me, PP. While I do think “stress” is overused to describe anything we encounter that’s difficult, I’m saying we need to make uncomfortable choices. I feel very healthy making need vs want decisions as a coping strategy. Our kids aren’t in dark closets - they have social interactions with us! Yes, it would be so much easier for me to invite a friend over for DC but it’s not a necessity.

The middle ground has to be needs over wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Mall and Target are slammed with families shopping in my area. It honestly feels like the Christmas surge.

Many families with young children are not wearing masks.

I don't see how kids can't go to school if they can roam the Mall and Target unfettered.

We’re not in this group. We have high-risk people in our house, so that’s not an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:30% of epidemiologists surveyed say that they would not personally send kids back to school until this winter, at the earliest (with half of those saying this date would be a year or more out).

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/12/upshot/epidemiologists-decisions-children-school-coronavirus.html

We think that if schools reopen, they are likely to do so in conditions that are either intolerable from a public health standpoint or that are so diminished/constrained that they're bad for kids' mental health (and probably adults').

We're considering what to do about this information. If you are also considering this, come on in to chat.

How many of them are working mom of young children? I don’t actually care what others think because they cant adequately weigh the costs and benefits.

It’s not their job to assess risk based on individual circumstances. They are simply stating the cost. We have to have all the information to make the calls for our individual circumstances.

DP, but they are only stating the cost as it relates to the virus. They’re not looking at the havoc wrought by extreme mitigation efforts. Yeah, I know that’s not their job, but it has to be someone’s job.

If people have the means to keep their kids home comfortably, great. If everyone is chronically stressed, that needs to factor into decision making. It’s not solely about COVID-19.

If people have the means to keep their kids home UNCOMFORTABLY but possible they should. There are other ways to deal with stress than going back to a pre-COvId lifestyle.

To you and the previous PP: I think neither of you have an understanding of the impacts of chronic stress. Way too many people discount it, and that’s your choice, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about going back to a pre-COVID lifestyle, but I’m also not talking about denying kids social interaction. There’s a middle ground between back to “normal” and “hunkering down” entirely. I get that it feels easier to hole up and throw stones, but that’s not a healthy coping strategy.

You are misunderstanding me, PP. While I do think “stress” is overused to describe anything we encounter that’s difficult, I’m saying we need to make uncomfortable choices. I feel very healthy making need vs want decisions as a coping strategy. Our kids aren’t in dark closets - they have social interactions with us! Yes, it would be so much easier for me to invite a friend over for DC but it’s not a necessity.

The middle ground has to be needs over wants.

That’s great for your kid. Our kids need peer interactions, in part because DH and I both work full-time. I don’t consider peer interactions for children “nice to have,” I consider them essential for development. Same as playing. I’ve seen a lot of people say that we don’t need to prioritize giving kids spaces to play, but yeah, we really do. We’re not letting our kids do whatever they want—all of their time with peers is outside, for example—but we’re also not refusing to let them interact with friends, either. For a year or more? No freaking way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Mall and Target are slammed with families shopping in my area. It honestly feels like the Christmas surge.

Many families with young children are not wearing masks.

I don't see how kids can't go to school if they can roam the Mall and Target unfettered.

Because school districts have more sense than some idiot parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s hard to fully accept how long this is going to take to resolve.

It really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My husband and I (geneticist and virologist) are probably not sending our tween and teen to school until we’ve been vaccinated. We are anticipating Covid-19 cases, hospitalizations and deaths to surge with each attempt to open, and hope a vaccine will be available in 2021 (Dr. Fauci predicted early 2021).

Excellent. More room/attention for my kids who will be going back in the fall if schools reopen with in person classes.

Signed,
A doctor married to a virologist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My husband and I (geneticist and virologist) are probably not sending our tween and teen to school until we’ve been vaccinated. We are anticipating Covid-19 cases, hospitalizations and deaths to surge with each attempt to open, and hope a vaccine will be available in 2021 (Dr. Fauci predicted early 2021).

Excellent. More room/attention for my kids who will be going back in the fall if schools reopen with in person classes.

Signed,
A doctor married to a virologist

+! Man I hope that PP isn't actually practicing in the field. I would never want someone like her making public health decisions. I'm guessing she's the geneticist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep thinking that we’re going wrong in believing that returning to our previous before corona lifestyle is the only answer. I totally feel the stress too but that can’t justify just giving up and pretending the virus doesn’t exist.

This. We have to find other ways to live and thrive.