Is it common for parents to not allow their kid to take private lessons from a male?

[Anonymous]

DD has a male piano teacher who comes to our house and I am generally the next room. He teaches my son, too.

But no, I would never drop my kids off at a male teacher’s house and come back an hour later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standard practice in safety training is to never have one child alone with one adult. It protects everyone. We try to make it a two-adult rule, but in a pinch multiple children also generally provides safety.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Trust me from personal experience, once they've done something creepy it's too late. Not a good plan.

+1. Creepers don't start by being creepy. They groom. Come on people.

My guitar teacher started calling me at home. I was 14 at the time. This stuff happens all the time.

Men aren't bad. They are statically more likely to abuse kids. Facts are facts. A chaperone protects everyone; this is what I tell my male residents (I'm a supervising attending). Men who don't think like this have nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Honestly...it’s probably a very common sentiment, which is a shame, but I get the paranoia.

I have let me daughters take private lessons from male instructors, BUT...there were video cameras in the room and I could see them from the waiting room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all younger but yes I think it’s normal.

Op here. Wow, that's really sad. It would never occur to me to not let my daughters take a lesson from a male for a reason like that. I suppose it makes sense, but it still doesn't seem right considering that most people have no qualms about letting a female give their child private lessons.

[Anonymous]

Yes normal. I wouldn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all younger but yes I think it’s normal.

Op here. Wow, that's really sad. It would never occur to me to not let my daughters take a lesson from a male for a reason like that. I suppose it makes sense, but it still doesn't seem right considering that most people have no qualms about letting a female give their child private lessons.

I wouldn't leave my child alone with anyone for the first few seasons and I have a boy - male or female. Boys can be sexually abused too but for some reason parents are more relaxed. I'm in the next room for my son and music lessons but I was lesson concerned with the current instructor as our old instructor trained with him for many years and knew him well/no issues.

[Anonymous]

No one on one situation where I could not see the lesson and instructor. This is weird, OP. I’ve been certified through a church licensing child safety program and we go o great lengths to never ever be alone with another child regardless of sex of child and adult. I taught Sunday School in the church gym and each “class” had one corner. Entirely open and w/o doors.

I also would never hire a male babysitter.

My teen nephews are in demand babysitters in their local neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

I think its pretty normal. I think parents also have to be careful of the narrative they give their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Yeah, but they'd be telling you after it happened. The creepy thing would still have happened.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has worked with a male teacher for euphonium since 6th grade (now in 10th). Never crossed my mind to be concerned. Lessons are in a room at the music school, with a big window in the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]No one on one situation where I could not see the lesson and instructor. This is weird, OP. [/b]I’ve been certified through a church licensing child safety program and we go o great lengths to never ever be alone with another child regardless of sex of child and adult. I taught Sunday School in the church gym and each “class” had one corner. Entirely open and w/o doors.

I also would never hire a male babysitter.

My teen nephews are in demand babysitters in their local neighborhood.

The place where the piano lessons are held are inside of a music store. There are separate rooms for the lessons, but the rooms don't have windows (my daughters take lessons there as well). Parents are allowed to stay in the room if they wish, but most don't. I honestly never thought about it. I never realized that many people were that worried about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not normal. Just paranoid.

If you had been molested by a male teacher you might feel differently. How lucky you are!

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are all younger but yes I think it’s normal.

Op here. Wow, that's really sad. It would never occur to me to not let my daughters take a lesson from a male for a reason like that. I suppose it makes sense, but it still doesn't seem right considering that most people have no qualms about letting a female give their child private lessons.

NP here. It would seriously *never* occur to you to not leave your daughter alone with man you don’t really know? There’s a reason that pedophiles gravitate towards jobs where they can be alone with kids.

[Anonymous]

It’s risk mitigation. The risk of a female sexually abusing a child is small compared to the risk of a male sexually abusing a child. I read somewhere that 95% of sexual abuse is committed by males. This isn’t meant to vilify men, but the math suggests that any type of private lesson is much safer when conducted by a woman.