Is it common for parents to not allow their kid to take private lessons from a male?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standard practice in safety training is to never have one child alone with one adult. It protects everyone. We try to make it a two-adult rule, but in a pinch multiple children also generally provides safety.

Totally agree. My 6th grade daughter had a male history teacher this year. He was always available for after school help but he had a buddy rule - 2 people had to stay after at a minimum. Don’t blame him a bit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Trust me from personal experience, once they've done something creepy it's too late. Not a good plan.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If the male teacher is smart, he will have someone there during the lesson.

[Anonymous]

I have a daughter and I also think I’d want to be able to see what’s going on. She’s only 3, so it’s not relevant right now, but given how many incidents there have been with male teachers/coaches and female students, we unfortunately will need to be careful.

It’s frankly one of the reasons why I’d be hesitant to have her do competitive gymnastics, swimming, etc. Those sports seem rife with these sorts of situations, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I have a son and specifically asked for a male tutor. My kid is surrounded by mostly women at school so he likes having a young, male tutor. I also sent him for years to an all boys camp and now he goes to an all boys HS. He is being raised by a single mom. His favorite teachers are men.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is common unless there is a system that there is a parent or someone else in the room or the session is being recorded. My husband teaches middle school and will not meet with a student alone in his classroom. If he is there alone he will walk into the teacher's classroom next door where there is another teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a male piano teacher who insists that a parent or other supervising adult always be present during the lesson.

He is smart to protect himself and remove any question. Makes sense to me.

[Anonymous]

Normal

Our preschool used to offer gymnastics with a male coach, who would teach the kids in a separate building. Daycare management told me that a preschool teacher always attended. I trusted my gut and I did not enroll my daughter.

Come to find out, by talking directly with one of the teachers, that no, the teachers do not stay with the kids while they are being taught gymnastics.

[Anonymous]

My son has a male guitar teacher. He comes to our house and gives lessons. The living room is open, I don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Trust me from personal experience, once they've done something creepy it's too late. Not a good plan.

Different poster. Also, many creeps know how to gradually push limits while maintaining plausible deniability and simultaneously building bonds through positive aspects of the relationship. It's called grooming. By the time something indisputably creepy happens, the child is often enmeshed emotionally with the abuser and also feels guilty about and at fault for whatever happened

[Anonymous]

It depends on the liability of the provider (Levine School of music? Private studio? Music store?);
The teacher him or herself;
On the age and personality of the student;
And the parent's level of comfort.

My daughter takes lessons from a very reputable private teacher in his home basement studio. Since she is younger, the teacher prefers that I stay to take notes. I have complete confidence in her safety, though. Most of the other students are older and are dropped off outside by their parents.

[Anonymous]

No I don't do that. I was also sexually abused as a child though, and well aware of the stats on sexual abuse of girls...so I am certainly cautious. Honestly it hasn't really come up for us though.

[Anonymous]

DC is paranoid like that but then again, he went to a Catholic school 1-12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not normal. Just paranoid.

If you had been molested by a male teacher you might feel differently. How lucky you are!

I was raped repeatedly by an uncle and his friends. But yes, I would say I'm lucky - to recognize that not every man is like my uncle and his friends and most are perfectly normal upstanding human beings. How sad you are to be paranoid.

[Anonymous]

I think its reasonable as not all allow a parent to watch/be involved.