VENT WARNING. Non-working parent not carrying their weight in quarantine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went to great lengths to be completely gender neutral in your post, but it just screams that you are a woman and your husband is the one taking his time off.
And, yes, many of us can relate.

Me too. I’m the only one working. The kitchen is a mess. He’s in the bedroom doing god knows what. Kid is sitting on the couch behind me eating popcorn for a late lunch and playing animal crossing.


I’m trying hard not to scream.

Play some animal crossing too! It is fun and relaxing.

Sure, pp can just quit her job and play Animal Crossing instead.

[Anonymous]

So your husband, whose not working, isn’t helping with house or kids? Does he hate you guys or something? Why would he not help his family?

[Anonymous]

It’s amazing how many wives, supposedly loved, are treated like servants.

[Anonymous]

Your dH is a douche. Why did you have kids with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you lock yourself in an office/bedroom/spare room or even sit in your car to work. Like so many DCUM household/childcare work dispute, the only thing you can do is have a serious conversation, let your spouse sink or swim, live with the results, and if the results are bad at first give them time to get better.

"Lovebird, I really appreciate your commitment to recaning all those chairs, but I am dying here with work, school, and cooking. I need to focus on my work so I can still have a job, so I am going to be less available during the day. I know you'll come up with a great plan to get everything else done!"

Lol

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a woman posted this and she has a lazy a$$ husband.

[Anonymous]

Well FWIW I am the working from home spouse (man) and my wife who is a SAHM already is doing jack sh$t every other day. She gets “exhausted” or “can’t handle the kids”. So she just sleeps the whole day. Our kitchen is a war zone of dirty dishes stacked to the windows, laundry in various stages just piled all over the house. She’s used to having a cleaning lady.

Like two hours of home school per day and making a couple sandwiches is moving mountains. I work a very demanding and stressful job. Once in a while they stop screaming at each other when I ask them so I can do an important call. That’s about it. Occasionally she makes me a cup of coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well FWIW I am the working from home spouse (man) and my wife who is a SAHM already is doing jack sh$t every other day. She gets “exhausted” or “can’t handle the kids”. So she just sleeps the whole day. Our kitchen is a war zone of dirty dishes stacked to the windows, laundry in various stages just piled all over the house. She’s used to having a cleaning lady.

Like two hours of home school per day and making a couple sandwiches is moving mountains. I work a very demanding and stressful job. Once in a while they stop screaming at each other when I ask them so I can do an important call. That’s about it. Occasionally she makes me a cup of coffee.

I mean this seriously, pp could your wife be depressed? Sleeping all day on a regular basis when you have kids at home sounds like depression. Plus not being able to do the daily tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well FWIW I am the working from home spouse (man) and my wife who is a SAHM already is doing jack sh$t every other day. She gets “exhausted” or “can’t handle the kids”. So she just sleeps the whole day. Our kitchen is a war zone of dirty dishes stacked to the windows, laundry in various stages just piled all over the house. She’s used to having a cleaning lady.

Like two hours of home school per day and making a couple sandwiches is moving mountains. I work a very demanding and stressful job. Once in a while they stop screaming at each other when I ask them so I can do an important call. That’s about it. Occasionally she makes me a cup of coffee.

Be more like this dude, OP. It doesn’t even occur to him to do the dishes, make lunch, and help with schooling when he has a SAH spouse. He’s not sitting next to his child and feeding him lunch while he attends an important meeting and his wife is sleeping in the other room. He assumes lunch has been made and calls out from the home and tells everyone to be quiet so he can make an important call.

His wife is doing so much more than your husband is, OP, and this dude is still so pissed. He isn’t looking for reasons that she might feel the way she does or coming up with lists of when the kids zoom meetings are.

Be more like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went to great lengths to be completely gender neutral in your post, but it just screams that you are a woman and your husband is the one taking his time off.
And, yes, many of us can relate.

+1

+2. My husband took a week off of work when our first baby was born and spent that week hanging drywall and repainting the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well FWIW I am the working from home spouse (man) and my wife who is a SAHM already is doing jack sh$t every other day. She gets “exhausted” or “can’t handle the kids”. So she just sleeps the whole day. Our kitchen is a war zone of dirty dishes stacked to the windows, laundry in various stages just piled all over the house. She’s used to having a cleaning lady.

Like two hours of home school per day and making a couple sandwiches is moving mountains. I work a very demanding and stressful job. Once in a while they stop screaming at each other when I ask them so I can do an important call. That’s about it. Occasionally she makes me a cup of coffee.

Be more like this dude, OP. It doesn’t even occur to him to do the dishes, make lunch, and help with schooling when he has a SAH spouse. He’s not sitting next to his child and feeding him lunch while he attends an important meeting and his wife is sleeping in the other room. He assumes lunch has been made and calls out from the home and tells everyone to be quiet so he can make an important call.

His wife is doing so much more than your husband is, OP, and this dude is still so pissed. He isn’t looking for reasons that she might feel the way she does or coming up with lists of when the kids zoom meetings are.

Be more like him.

This is so true. And it’s funny how men and women react differently to having a spouse slack off, but seriously, OP you need to be more like this dude.

Stand up for yourself! Or at a minimum take care of your needs first.

[Anonymous]

Rehome the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well FWIW I am the working from home spouse (man) and my wife who is a SAHM already is doing jack sh$t every other day. She gets “exhausted” or “can’t handle the kids”. So she just sleeps the whole day. Our kitchen is a war zone of dirty dishes stacked to the windows, laundry in various stages just piled all over the house. She’s used to having a cleaning lady.

Like two hours of home school per day and making a couple sandwiches is moving mountains. I work a very demanding and stressful job. Once in a while they stop screaming at each other when I ask them so I can do an important call. That’s about it. Occasionally she makes me a cup of coffee.

Be more like this dude, OP. It doesn’t even occur to him to do the dishes, make lunch, and help with schooling when he has a SAH spouse. He’s not sitting next to his child and feeding him lunch while he attends an important meeting and his wife is sleeping in the other room. He assumes lunch has been made and calls out from the home and tells everyone to be quiet so he can make an important call.

His wife is doing so much more than your husband is, OP, and this dude is still so pissed. He isn’t looking for reasons that she might feel the way she does or coming up with lists of when the kids zoom meetings are.

Be more like him.

This is so true. And it’s funny how men and women react differently to having a spouse slack off, but seriously, OP you need to be more like this dude.

Stand up for yourself! Or at a minimum take care of your needs first.

Lol.
Someone needs to explain to him that he should just let his wife do things “her way” or do them himself. And that just because her way doesn’t look like his way doesn’t mean it’s wrong .

[Anonymous]

Np here. DH has almost no work. I'm full time

I'm overseeing the schooling, most dinners,all tidying and cleaning except his laundry (clean disgusting frig and pantry last night after ant invasion), did taxes, contacted all camps for refund/updates/registrations (because I've also planned the entire summer, 7 different freaking camps), all the online shopping, arranged in home care for my elderly parents after a fall, and gave the dog a bath. He has built a climbing wall on the side of the house and binge watched many shows. Been asking him to deal with the logged drain (I fixed it myself), wasp nest and broken cowling fan for week to no avail. I am exhausted and disappointed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np here. DH has almost no work. I'm full time

I'm overseeing the schooling, most dinners,all tidying and cleaning except his laundry (clean disgusting frig and pantry last night after ant invasion), did taxes, contacted all camps for refund/updates/registrations (because I've also planned the entire summer, 7 different freaking camps), all the online shopping, arranged in home care for my elderly parents after a fall, and gave the dog a bath. He has built a climbing wall on the side of the house and binge watched many shows. Been asking him to deal with the logged drain (I fixed it myself), wasp nest and broken cowling fan for week to no avail. I am exhausted and disappointed.

Most men will gladly let you do EVERYTHING.

I am in a marriage where my husband does 50/50 and I have only accomplished this by NOT doing things. Pretend like you’re a man. Come out of your office at 6 PM and ask what’s for dinner.

You’re partially to blame for this situation. No one is forcing You to make dinner, tidy, bathe the dog etc. I personally just wouldn’t do any of that.

We will never have equality until we put ourselves FIRST.