Men: Would you agree to use an embryo from wifes’s prior marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you regret more, never being a parent or never remarrying? If you want to be a parent, have a baby now on your own. It will be easier for you to find a divorced dad to marry later on than someone excited about your giving birth to your ex’s baby.

This. If you have a baby (or babies) on your own you'll be just like any other divorced woman with kids from her ex-spouse.

Except that other divorced women who had children with their ex-spouse had those children during the marriage, and their ex-spouses are co-parenting. Has OP’s ex signed away his parental rights? Is there a legal avenue for him to change his mind in the future? Can OP really predict how this will turn out?

She said in her original post that her soon to be ex-husband had signed off on the embryos completely, but the bolded is something I would want to be 100% sure on before I used those embryos, whether I was single or married.

OP, if you have embryos already frozen, does that mean you have fertility issues? I mean, I'm just confused in this scenario.If you have known fertility issues and want to have a child, I think you should go for it on your own.

I’m not sure it is legally possible to sign away your parental rights to children who do not yet exist. I have a feeling OP’s ex has only given permission to OP to make decisions over the future use of the embryos, as far as the fertility clinic is concerned.

It really depends on the state. Arizona just passed a law that an ex can use embryos against the wishes of the former spouse depending on the nature of the original contract, but also relinquishes that parent of all child support.

I just read up on the Arizona law. It’s the first of its kind in the nation, so expect it to be challenged, and it only went into effect a little over a year ago and doesn’t apply to embryos created before it took effect. I seriously doubt OP can count on any particular outcome from potential future legal challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you regret more, never being a parent or never remarrying? If you want to be a parent, have a baby now on your own. It will be easier for you to find a divorced dad to marry later on than someone excited about your giving birth to your ex’s baby.

This. If you have a baby (or babies) on your own you'll be just like any other divorced woman with kids from her ex-spouse.

Except that other divorced women who had children with their ex-spouse had those children during the marriage, and their ex-spouses are co-parenting. Has OP’s ex signed away his parental rights? Is there a legal avenue for him to change his mind in the future? Can OP really predict how this will turn out?

She said in her original post that her soon to be ex-husband had signed off on the embryos completely, but the bolded is something I would want to be 100% sure on before I used those embryos, whether I was single or married.

OP, if you have embryos already frozen, does that mean you have fertility issues? I mean, I'm just confused in this scenario.If you have known fertility issues and want to have a child, I think you should go for it on your own.

The right to use embryos is different from parental rights. I don't think anything will stop OP's ex from pursuing his parental rights if that's what he decides to do.

[Anonymous]

Have a baby on your own and then start dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here: I don't think its black and white issue. If you have embryos, my understanding is that its already half yours half your exes. If you were not able to conceive at that point and I really wanted kids, I would look at all the options (donor egg, adoption, etc.). The financial aspect and legal issues could also play some role in deciding. In reality, when raising kids, genetics only matters before the kids come. If you like kids, it doesn't matter who the biologic parents are.

You're going to feel like a real schmuck when you get divorced and you're on the hook for child support for some other dude's kids.

[Anonymous]

Man here: complete dealbreaker. Even suggesting the option would be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here: complete dealbreaker. Even suggesting the option would be an issue.

Yup. She could go ahead and have those kids even if you said no, and then you'd really be hosed.

[Anonymous]

So the child potentially grows up and wants to know more about their biological Dad and where they came from, genetics, etc. (Not unusual questions to have) and ex husband could likely want no part of this discussion. Not fair to child, not fair to ex husband.

[Anonymous]

I think most men would be okay if it was a stranger's sperm. Most men don't want their wive's ex husband's sperm.

Why do you have embryos and not just eggs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most men would be okay if it was a stranger's sperm. Most men don't want their wive's ex husband's sperm.

Why do you have embryos and not just eggs?

She may have had cancer radiation treatment... op can have have kids at all?

[Anonymous]

I would say it's one thing to help raise your existing child. That's not a concern. It's another thing to get married and you, in essence, have a child with a guy you used to hang out with. Not interested in that.

[Anonymous]

Would ex have any claim to the child?

Frankly, I think both your ex and the new guy would be very much against this.