Pushups in store bathroom as punishment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A normal parent would have whispered in the kid’s ear to settle down, quickly use the restroom, and then leave the store. When kids act up, you take them home. You don’t cause a scene. You lecture the child privately. You never reward bad behavior; you just go home.

WTH is wrong with people? This is why we have such poorly behaved kids and adults: bad parenting.

How about you parent your kids in a way that's effective for YOUR kids. I'll parent mine in a way that's effective for them.

DP. I do get that different kids need different things, and that parenting styles are really not that important, but is there ANY research that suggests pushups in a public place is an effective discipline technique? Or anything similar to pushups in a public place? Particularly a place that might be a little humiliating like a bathroom floor?

My mom used to make me clean our bathrooms as a disciplinary technique. Quelle Horreur. How humiliating.

Are you seriously suggesting it's basically the same thing?

You clearly want to argue about it, but honestly, don't you think the parent knows what's best for her child? She took him into the bathroom because it was more private. MYOB.

AND THEN SHE LET SOMEONE PHOTOGRAPH IT and post all over Facebook, and talked to CNN about it.

Private my a$$. She gave up the right to have people Mind their own business when she went out of the way to publicize this.

I guess you didn't read the article? The mom had nothing to do with posting it to Facebook and sharing it.

She did nothing about letting the other woman photograph it and post it.

It's a picture of her back. You think she was cognizant of someone taking a picture of her back and cognizant of that person sharing the photo on social media? She could've very well had no idea that's what the woman was doing.

If she walked out the house in that outfit, she's clearly not "cognizant" of her back.

[Anonymous]

This parenting article says that exercise as punishment isn't effective because a) it makes the kid associate exercise with punishment and b):

"Using exercise as a response to child behavior problems is more of a punishment, as it generally pushes a child to the point of exhaustion or, at the very least, soreness, in the hopes that the child will remember that physical strain and not do things like lie or refuse to do chores next time. The trouble with this is that the child is not learning what is intended. Let's say your child curses at you and you decide to have him run laps. To paraphrase James, this is ultimately ineffective because your child is learning how to run miles rather than what he can do instead of cursing at you next time he feels frustrated."

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/giving-kids-consequences-exercise-as-punishment/

[Anonymous]

Child abuse? Not even close. An effective discipline technique? Unlikely.

[Anonymous]

And she had her ten year old in a ladies bathroom! My ten year old would die of humiliation if his friends knew about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And she had her ten year old in a ladies bathroom! My ten year old would die of humiliation if his friends knew about it.

Hmm I never even thought of this. Like hell my 10 year old son would come in the ladies bathroom with me!!

It's all just so wrong especially given his difficulties. Like the shaming in the dirty bathroom aspect really was a strong part of the discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child abuse? Not even close. An effective discipline technique? Unlikely.

From the mother:

Kingston has attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and oppositional defiance disorder, according to Harper Quinn. This means he purposefully does things she asks him not to do because of a neurological brain impulse. 

"I took him to the bathroom and I said drop and give me 10 pushups," she said. "And he was back talking me about how dirty and gross the bathroom floor was and I said 'well if you don't quit you're going to give me 10 more.'"

[Anonymous]

It seems to me that much like spanking your kids for hitting their sibling, making your kid do push ups on a bathroom floor kind of invalidates a "don't touch things in a bathroom" rule. Also, I don't like the notion that physical activity is a punishment, although I can see how it would have its place while coaching a sports league, for example, because those two things at least seem related. Maybe it's because my kids do sports, but I can't fathom using push ups as a punishment for any kind of bad behavior (and they are not saints, they do get punished). I guess if it worked for that mom, then good on her for at least doing something about her kid's bad behavior. I just wouldn't personally adopt it as a technique for the reasons stated above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving aside the efficacy and humiliation, I would never do something that encourages my kid to touch the bathroom floor. Gross.

Having a mom who dresses like that woman is humiliation enough.

Good point!

I was in the Army. Pushups are a good form of discipline when executed correctly, on willing adults. But I don’t believe using it for children in a public (womens) bathroom is it. Is it CPS worthy, no. Poor judgement, yes.

[Anonymous]

I think people shaming the mom for what she was wearing are worse than she was for making her kid do push ups on the bathroom floor.

[Anonymous]

I once saw a mom do this (small number of pushups, not in a bathroom).
It was obvious to me that the tween (he was probably eleven or twelve) had learning/behavior issues that caused him to become extremely oppositional and unreasonable to following directions.
He was a big kid, and I think the pushups were a re-set of sorts when he was about to become physically unmanageable in a public space. I didn't see it as any effort to humiliate him or punish him- the mom wasn't seeking attention, she just didn't want him escalating further. It was almost like the countdowns we do with younger children.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone truly believe a kid with ODD magically does push ups after prompting by mom? I bet she hits him, and the push ups are better than being hit from his perspective.

Flame away, but I think this is just bad parenting that can be filed under the heading “poor people have poor ways.”

Would any UMC parent from Dcumlandia cause a scene like this in public? Don’t most people whisper into their kid’s ear, collect them, and quickly head to the car before properly lecturing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A normal parent would have whispered in the kid’s ear to settle down, quickly use the restroom, and then leave the store. When kids act up, you take them home. You don’t cause a scene. You lecture the child privately. You never reward bad behavior; you just go home.

WTH is wrong with people? This is why we have such poorly behaved kids and adults: bad parenting.

How about you parent your kids in a way that's effective for YOUR kids. I'll parent mine in a way that's effective for them.

DP. I do get that different kids need different things, and that parenting styles are really not that important, but is there ANY research that suggests pushups in a public place is an effective discipline technique? Or anything similar to pushups in a public place? Particularly a place that might be a little humiliating like a bathroom floor?

My mom used to make me clean our bathrooms as a disciplinary technique. Quelle Horreur. How humiliating.

Are you seriously suggesting it's basically the same thing?

You clearly want to argue about it, but honestly, don't you think the parent knows what's best for her child? She took him into the bathroom because it was more private. MYOB.

No I do not always think parents know what's best for their kids. I think parents often just assume parenting is intuitive, but it's really not. Kids will do better when parents search out skills and attitudes toward parenting that are backed by research. But this very well could have been what was best! I don't know.

DP.. indeed.. you don't know... so myob as the ^PP stated.

If you think everybody should mind their own business why are you even commenting on a thread about whether or not you would do x as punishment? I am not going to go to the woman and tell her "I don't know if this is a good parenting technique." The question was asked and I answered. So did PP.

? This is an anonymous forum. I saw this article way before OP even posted it, and I didn't come on here posting about it initially, but I did click on the thread and read through the comments because I knew others would have a holier than thou attitude. I only read a portion of the story, and like you or the PP didn't know the backstory, so that's why I stated to myob since "you don't know". I also commented because IMO some parents do need to punish their children more.

[Anonymous]

It is really irresponsible reporting to print the child’s
Name and his Diagnosis like that. What a huge invasion of his privacy. Now it’s on the internet forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is really irresponsible reporting to print the child’s
Name and his Diagnosis like that. What a huge invasion of his privacy. Now it’s on the internet forever.

Well, you can blame the mother for this.

[Anonymous]

It’s not how I parent. But I see nothing wrong with it. Coaches have been doing this for years.