Stepmother Struggles w/Feeling No Love For Stepchildren

[Anonymous]

If I ever divorced I would never remarry. I have kids and they are my reason for living. I would never give them the trauma of a step parent. Never. No one can love my bio kids like the bio parents.

Thankfully, DH is also a gem of a husband and man. So the only thing I fear is illness or death.

[Anonymous]

My DH’s ex has done everything she possibly can to alienate the kids from him and our family. The drama, the litigation, everything she has done is disgusting. Moms who do this are self serving scum. No one has benefitted from this behavior - least of all her own children who have been taught to believe their dad is a dead beat loser who doesn’t care about them even though he has shared custody. Don’t underestimate a woman’s power to shape her own children’s views. So yeah, at this point I associate them with toxicity and dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I ever divorced I would never remarry. I have kids and they are my reason for living. I would never give them the trauma of a step parent. Never. No one can love my bio kids like the bio parents.

Thankfully, DH is also a gem of a husband and man. So the only thing I fear is illness or death.

The "trauma" of a step parent? This knee-jerk negative attitude towards step parents is EXACTLY why they face an uphill battle. It is easy to be smug when you are sitting in a Disney World marriage with a perfect husband. I've got news for you - your entire situation can be very, very different in a few years from now. Maybe even a decade or so from now.

Yes, spouses do get sick and they do die. And if you choose to live the rest of your life alone that's your choice. Your kids will get older and have families of their own. They will also have spouses. And maybe one of those spouses may not like YOU making their spouse the "reason for living" and will consider you whiny, dependent and meddling. And they will give your kid an ultimatum of telling you to back off and may just have to cut you out of their lives.

Or maybe that gem of a husband will decide you aren't exactly as shiny as he once thought. And maybe he'll leave you and get someone new. Then, whether you like it or not, your kids will be involved with a step parent.

[Anonymous]

My step-mother (OW) told me when I was 12 that she never wanted DCs and there was a serious over population in the world so people should really stop having DCs. Fast-forward to when I had my own child, her gift was a book called How to Not Raise a Brat (the kid was 6 months).

[Anonymous]

Letechia Stauch is the worst of the worst in this regard. If you would resent a stepchild don't marry a person with kids.