Stay Home or Go Back To Work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

OP here. The issue is I have little experience as an NP that can hurt my career if I take a 4-5 year gap. You clearly never hired a nanny. Finding a part-time nanny that is willing to commit to the job is tough. They will leave once they find a full-time position.

Actually I used to work part time and hired a full time nanny. It was pretty awesome for a few years. That nanny was not the enriching/make play dates and friends type nanny though and we eventually put the kids in daycare.

We know a lot of anesthesiologists. I know how much they make. Eh. I would work if I were you. You can afford a FT nanny/housekeeper. Use the extra hours for her to do your laundry, let you guys have date night or lunches.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I gave birth to my kids when DH was a resident and fellow. I had to work as I was the breadwinner. When he finished fellowship, we could afford for me to stay home but I wanted to continue working. I worked approximately 25-30 hours per week and had a FT nanny for 40 hours per week. She would come and watch/feed kids while I got ready for work. She would also tidy up/help with dinner when I came home from work. In the early years when DH didn't have his practice up yet, nanny would watch napping baby while DH and/or I would take older child to the playground or on outings. Those years were great.

[Anonymous]

I'd absolutely stay home. There's zero reason not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd absolutely stay home. There's zero reason not to.

OP just spent a lot of time in school to become a NP. That is a reason to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

OP here. I am thinking of staying home part-time but hiring a full-time nanny is absurd. Why would I hire a full-time nanny when I want to be home? It seems lazy and not worth the expense.

OP here. The issue is I have little experience as an NP that can hurt my career if I take a 4-5 year gap. You clearly never hired a nanny. Finding a part-time nanny that is willing to commit to the job is tough. They will leave once they find a full-time position.

Actually I used to work part time and hired a full time nanny. It was pretty awesome for a few years. That nanny was not the enriching/make play dates and friends type nanny though and we eventually put the kids in daycare.

We know a lot of anesthesiologists. I know how much they make. Eh. I would work if I were you. You can afford a FT nanny/housekeeper. Use the extra hours for her to do your laundry, let you guys have date night or lunches.

[Anonymous]

I just read you used to be a nanny for 10 years. I would probably just stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

OP here. I am thinking of staying home part-time but hiring a full-time nanny is absurd. Why would I hire a full-time nanny when I want to be home? It seems lazy and not worth the expense.

OP here. The issue is I have little experience as an NP that can hurt my career if I take a 4-5 year gap. You clearly never hired a nanny. Finding a part-time nanny that is willing to commit to the job is tough. They will leave once they find a full-time position.

Actually I used to work part time and hired a full time nanny. It was pretty awesome for a few years. That nanny was not the enriching/make play dates and friends type nanny though and we eventually put the kids in daycare.

We know a lot of anesthesiologists. I know how much they make. Eh. I would work if I were you. You can afford a FT nanny/housekeeper. Use the extra hours for her to do your laundry, let you guys have date night or lunches.

OP here. I am thinking of working part-time but why would I hire a nanny for full-time work? The whole point is for me to be home. It seems lazy and not worth the expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

OP here. I am thinking of staying home part-time but hiring a full-time nanny is absurd. Why would I hire a full-time nanny when I want to be home? It seems lazy and not worth the expense.

OP here. The issue is I have little experience as an NP that can hurt my career if I take a 4-5 year gap. You clearly never hired a nanny. Finding a part-time nanny that is willing to commit to the job is tough. They will leave once they find a full-time position.

Actually I used to work part time and hired a full time nanny. It was pretty awesome for a few years. That nanny was not the enriching/make play dates and friends type nanny though and we eventually put the kids in daycare.

We know a lot of anesthesiologists. I know how much they make. Eh. I would work if I were you. You can afford a FT nanny/housekeeper. Use the extra hours for her to do your laundry, let you guys have date night or lunches.

Because as you said, the better nannies will most likely want a full time job. Don't work then. Why'd you post if you just want to stay home? I gave you a suggestion. I had 2 kids though, not just 1. It was a nice luxury to be able to take my kid out on play dates while my other child napped.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you pay for daycare and use as needed?

Or just take a year off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you just started as an NP?

I have an MD. I was going to say work PT, but then I saw that you just finished your training. This is a tough time to work PT. Do you feel confident in your clinical decision making? It isn’t an easy job, and people are trusting you with their lives and the lives of their children.

OP here. I've been an NP for 1.5 years before I had my baby. I work in a wellness clinic where I see patients for various things like colds, flu, strep tests, etc. I worked in the medical filed as a tech while in nursing school and used my nursing degree while in school for NP. I feel confident with my ability, but I do think working will help me build up my career. I worry taking too much time off will make it hard for me to go back once he is in school.

If you’re good at what you do, you will be fine. I truly think people make a bigger deal out of this than normal. Unless you want to be a CEO, you will be fine. Take advantage of the flexibility in your role and go part time. I was a SAHM for 4 years, thought I would only take 1 yr, and as soon as I started networking I had 3 job offers in a week all six figures. Part time let’s you keep your foot in the door, stay relevant without resume gaps, extra money, you don’t go stir crazy, and it’s easy to ramp up hours once you’re ready.

Congrats on Baby Owen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you just started as an NP?

I have an MD. I was going to say work PT, but then I saw that you just finished your training. This is a tough time to work PT. Do you feel confident in your clinical decision making? It isn’t an easy job, and people are trusting you with their lives and the lives of their children.

OP here. I've been an NP for 1.5 years before I had my baby. I work in a wellness clinic where I see patients for various things like colds, flu, strep tests, etc. I worked in the medical filed as a tech while in nursing school and used my nursing degree while in school for NP. I feel confident with my ability, but I do think working will help me build up my career. I worry taking too much time off will make it hard for me to go back once he is in school.

This is a terrible job. You don’t have the relationship with your patients that you would have in a typical outpatient Linux, and at the same time you don’t have the excitement and unpredictability of the ED.

Go back to work, but find another job.

[Anonymous]

If you can go back part time, I say do it. I had my son at 39 and have been SAH since. I wish I’d gone back part time. That’s a bit hard to admit because I really and truly loved the early years I had with DC at home—after years of fertility issues I was so ready to be a mom— and I love being there for him now, able to host weekday play dates, etc. But, I’ve stayed home longer than I meant to (i loved it too much, maybe), economy has changed a bit, and we are struggling financially. And my old field has changed, my skills no longer in as high demand and I’m only finding comparable jobs for at least $30k less than I’d been making.

[Anonymous]

I’d say do what you want to do, not what you think you should be doing or what people are telling you to do because you have a degree.

I work PT with 3 kids and wished I’d just stayed at home for most of those years. iME, I’m not taken seriously career-wise and no one is advancing at all by working PT.

I’ve had about 6 nannies over the last 5 years, even though i pay towards the top of the pay scale. No one wants to work PT, even if they start out wanting to initially. It is a waste to pay someone full time so you can float a PT job, but I suppose that would have made the nanny situation more stable.

Play dates and doing anything is a challenge. SAHM all gather at the drop of a hat and I just can’t do that.

Either work FT, get benefits and the experience you need to advance your career or stay at home, enjoy your kid and ramp up later. That’s my $.02 from actually living it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d say do what you want to do, not what you think you should be doing or what people are telling you to do because you have a degree.

I work PT with 3 kids and wished I’d just stayed at home for most of those years. iME, I’m not taken seriously career-wise and no one is advancing at all by working PT.

I’ve had about 6 nannies over the last 5 years, even though i pay towards the top of the pay scale. No one wants to work PT, even if they start out wanting to initially. It is a waste to pay someone full time so you can float a PT job, but I suppose that would have made the nanny situation more stable.

Play dates and doing anything is a challenge. SAHM all gather at the drop of a hat and I just can’t do that.

Either work FT, get benefits and the experience you need to advance your career or stay at home, enjoy your kid and ramp up later. That’s my $.02 from actually living it.

I agree with you here. I think most of the people saying how amazing PT work is have not actually done it.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if there’s any working from home jobs you could do? The “telehealth” field is huge and growing. Maybe you could try that part time for a few years. If you need PT care, day cares can be more flexible than nannies, who usually want to work full time.

I’d also think as a NP that you could SAH for a few years and keep up your licenses, and just get back into working when you’re ready? Could you do a shift a week at a hospital, maybe on a weekend?