Stay Home or Go Back To Work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you just started as an NP?

I have an MD. I was going to say work PT, but then I saw that you just finished your training. This is a tough time to work PT. Do you feel confident in your clinical decision making? It isn’t an easy job, and people are trusting you with their lives and the lives of their children.

Wow. This is just rude. I'm sure OP knows this job isn't easy and how important it is. She did go to school for it. I just find this rude and like you know best because you have an MD.

[Anonymous]

Why would you think you can’t have more kids? Just to be a NP?

What kind of md is your husband? Does he have decent hours?

[Anonymous]

I also vote for PT. You got this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you think you can’t have more kids? Just to be a NP?

What kind of md is your husband? Does he have decent hours?

OP here. Having another kid has nothing to do with my job. I am 38 ( turning 39 in May) and it took us a long time to conceive. I think we might not be able to have a second child with my age and how long it took for us to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

If there’s a way to go part time I would definitely recommend that. I dialed back work when my kids were young and was able to savor the early years while still having a little escape from SAHM isolation. When I was ready to dial it back up (and I was by mid elementary) it was easy for me to do so. Best of both worlds. It would have been much harder if I dropped out completely, and to a degree, I also would have lost an important part of my identity.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the replies but my mom stayed home and I especially appreciated it in my late elementary and middle school years. And those are the years I remember! You could always work now and continue your career and build savings and step away later.

[Anonymous]

I would do PT. Keep a foot in the door, it is definitely easier than trying to go back in 5 years after totally switching gears. PT really is the best of both. You don’t need to be with your child 24/7 to feel like you’ve seen them growing up. Then when they reach about 4-5 they prefer to be with their friends anyway.

[Anonymous]

Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you just started as an NP?

I have an MD. I was going to say work PT, but then I saw that you just finished your training. This is a tough time to work PT. Do you feel confident in your clinical decision making? It isn’t an easy job, and people are trusting you with their lives and the lives of their children.

OP here. I've been an NP for 1.5 years before I had my baby. I work in a wellness clinic where I see patients for various things like colds, flu, strep tests, etc. I worked in the medical filed as a tech while in nursing school and used my nursing degree while in school for NP. I feel confident with my ability, but I do think working will help me build up my career. I worry taking too much time off will make it hard for me to go back once he is in school.

This job doesn’t sound like the right fit. No wonder you think that if you left you would never go back. You should always feel like you are still learning, even with the amount of experience you have had. And your boss sounds like a jerk. You are already anticipating problems and you haven’t even started back yet.

You are in a great position. You have some work experience, but you aren’t pigeon holed in any one thing, you don’t need to find something that’s highly paid or has a lot of hours, and you have plenty of time to look around. You can do just about whatever you want to do.

If I were you, I would spend some time thinking about what you really want your career to look like. Is it working in a family practice office? Rounding on patients in the hospital? Working in the ED? Then, I would polish my CV and send it around to every single place in the area that does what you are looking to do. Tell them you are looking to work PT, and offer to take the crappiest shift four days a month. Tell your husband (with a few months notice) that he needs to figure out how to be home during those times (most of the time). Then, every time you go, do an amazing kick-ass job. And every time you come across something you haven’t seen before, read about it.

This way, you would be advancing your career, you would be working part time, and your husband would get some 1:1 time with the baby.

[Anonymous]

What kind of hours and income does your DH have?

Very different if he works 70 hours as a neurosurgeon making $1m a year or a family medicine guy working 9-5 making 150.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of hours and income does your DH have?

Very different if he works 70 hours as a neurosurgeon making $1m a year or a family medicine guy working 9-5 making 150.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your post IMO doesn’t read like you want to stay at home. You mention the early years briefly but the rest of your post is about why work is important to you and your fears around losing it.

Why not hire a capable nanny (as a former one, you know they exist) and be a proud WOHM? You can be a fantastic and involved mother and also work full time. I recognize that you have options, but to me your post reads like someone who just needs to be reminded that it’s ok to be a mom and choose to work!

OP here. I do want to stay home. I’m just struggling with what could happen to my career. I would love to be able to stay home or work part-time and find a nanny. It’s just tough to find any good part-time help.

I think you are making a lot of excuses. You are a nurse. I’m pretty sure you will always have a job.

DH is a surgeon and he has lost 2 NPs having babies in the past 4 years. I’m not a NP but I stay home with 3 kids. I was a working mom of 2 kids for 5 years.

You should easily be able to work and find a nanny. Or work PT like everyone has suggested.

OP here. The issue is I have little experience as an NP that can hurt my career if I take a 4-5 year gap. You clearly never hired a nanny. Finding a part-time nanny that is willing to commit to the job is tough. They will leave once they find a full-time position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of hours and income does your DH have?

Very different if he works 70 hours as a neurosurgeon making $1m a year or a family medicine guy working 9-5 making 150.

OP here. My husband is an anesthesiologist and works 50-60 hours a week. His schedule varies and he's often on call. I won't include his salary.