What to do - Coach's son gets more playing time than teammates....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some studies have shown parent coaches with kids actually play their kids less to avoid favoritism accusations.

Ours does this.

Thanks for the input coach.

[Anonymous]

When you talk to the coach, you should think about your player in absolute terms, not relative to other players. Like "what does [my kid] need to work on to earn more playing time?" It never comes across well to put it in relative terms: "why is [my kid] playing less than [other player]?"--even if that other player isn't the coach's son. And if the coach can't answer that question in the first place, or the answer sucks, that's a (bad) sign. And if your player honestly works on and improves that thing, and nothing changes, that's a bad sign. And if a coach consistently has (seemingly, to you) non-soccer reasons for managing playing time, that's a bad sign. Your job as a parent is to read all these signs and decide when the bad outweighs the good and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So,

Coach has a son who plays on the team. Interestingly enough while other kids are rotated out to give everyone playing time and or for strategic advantages, the Coach's son comes out rarely and only for short periods. What/How to say to coach "play fair" with time and rotation without creating a dust up? If you want everyone to progress and get better in game situations then they all need turns in game situations, and your son needs to sit the bench for stretches, just like everyone else.

I like the Coach, I don't think he's a bad guy, but I try to suggest some equity, it may go south for both of us, and I don't want to jeopardize my son's time, production, and integration with the team.

Welcoming ideas...

This is quite literally the definition of "parent coach". Since the beginning of time!

[Anonymous]

You can say something to the coach if the game is a blowout and your kid is still on the bench. Seek additional training if your kid is on the bench too much, you will be amazed at how much this helps. In one training session your kid will get a few thousand touches, which is more than they would get in a few weeks of team practice combined. After a few additional sessions my DD was way more confident on the ball and doing things in games that she hadn’t before. Get more training instead of complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to go to the head of the soccer program. It is highly unusual to have a parent be a paid coach on a club sport. We did experience this in lacrosse and the outcome was horrible, especially for the players who played the same position as the coach's daughter.

Rec is totally different, and OP said this is NOT a rec team.

Yes, I would go to the head of the travel soccer program.

[Anonymous]

its only u9. relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to go to the head of the soccer program. It is highly unusual to have a parent be a paid coach on a club sport. We did experience this in lacrosse and the outcome was horrible, especially for the players who played the same position as the coach's daughter.

Rec is totally different, and OP said this is NOT a rec team.

Yes, I would go to the head of the travel soccer program.

They already know, don’t bother wasting your energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this is a normal travel team? Or “select”?

OP here - it's a normal travel team. They plan around the region, and tournaments, and a pretty good team too.

No, not everyone gets equal playing time. And the Coach's son is good, but I suspect its a vicious circle; you play better and more confident because you are in the game more, and thus there an interest in putting you in the game more. It is noticeable that some get more playing time than others (especially if the match is competitive) but it is especially noticeable that Coach's son plays more than the others.

This is not a parent volunteer, he is part of the coaching staff.

My point to him would be, try to develop all the players, and give your son a taste of sitting on the bench eager to get in. Either way, as a father/coach, we would want to be mindful of other players.

So, confront him and tell him rather than DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Volunteer to coach. This is how youth sports works.

+1,000 coaching is a LOT of work, most people are u willing or unavailable to do it. If you are in a rec league, let this go. It’s the cost you pay for not having to coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this is a normal travel team? Or “select”?

OP here - it's a normal travel team. They plan around the region, and tournaments, and a pretty good team too.

No, not everyone gets equal playing time. And the Coach's son is good, but I suspect its a vicious circle; you play better and more confident because you are in the game more, and thus there an interest in putting you in the game more. It is noticeable that some get more playing time than others (especially if the match is competitive) but it is especially noticeable that Coach's son plays more than the others.

This is not a parent volunteer, he is part of the coaching staff.

My point to him would be, try to develop all the players, and give your son a taste of sitting on the bench eager to get in. Either way, as a father/coach, we would want to be mindful of other players.

Don’t do this. It will backfire and hurt your kid.

You don’t like it move teams.

There will always be someone you think gets too much play time.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like a real travel team if all of your kid's friends on the team and a parent is the coach. Does it have tryouts and cuts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't sound like a real travel team if all of your kid's friends on the team and a parent is the coach. Does it have tryouts and cuts?

And playing with a U9/u10 mixed group.

[Anonymous]

OP said the son comes out "rarely" and for "short periods" I don't understand the beef, but if you can do a better job why don't you coach.


Sorry, not helpful. I am trying to find a good solution; my son is not leaving the team, these are his friends, and it's good training. He, the Coach, and Coach's son are friends (think bday parties and sleep-overs);

So my two options as I see it are to ask one of the less vocal parent to talk to Coach; I talk to Coach, or I STFU.

I'm leaning towards S'ingTFU - this will play itself out; Coach will be exposed or he will adjust. My son gets playing time and is one of the better players - I'm actually less worried about him. When I notice what I perceive to be an injustice it raises my hackles. The fact that I notice a play time injustice on a soccer team with 10yos makes my blood boil; A better coach will coach a team to play together, not rely on his son and other role players.

Thanks for your input Soccer DCUM.

Unless the club has rules about equal playing time, you say nothing. You are taking this WAAAAY too personally for someone whose kid "gets playing time and is one of the better players."

[Anonymous]

Become a coach.

[Anonymous]

If the kid who is getting more playing time is better than your own kid it doesn’t matter who’s kid he is.