What to do - Coach's son gets more playing time than teammates....

[Anonymous]

Is the coaches son one of the best players?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can do. This is what happens when the coach's son is on the team. Nobody in the history of sports has ever convinced a coach to play their kid less. Give.it.up.

Agree, even when the coach’s son is bad! It sounds like the son here is one of the stronger players (or OP would have mentioned otherwise). Get on a team with a different coach next season and find out before you write the check if there are any relatives of the coach on the team!

[Anonymous]

I will never understand people who pay $$$$ for travel sports and drive all around to bum-f nowhere to watch their kid sit on a bench. For $100 a season you could go five blocks and watch your kid play at least half the game in rec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the coaches son one of the best players?

OP here. One of the better players, yes. But his teammates are competitive, and some have potential if Coach would make "room" for them but sharing time/space with his son. He plays center mid; and is the best on the team in the role. This is not a rec league team, not a volunteer parent - this is what Coach does for a living - he should allow other center-mids to develop if this is a weakness that only his son can fill.

Again, I want his son and everyone's son to play. I want to talk to him about developing others to share the space and time, but I fear our conversation may go south. I also don't want to grumble to other parents to foment consternation; Actually, it may be easier coming from another parent - Coach and I, while we are friendly, have too much testosterone if it's not a well received discussion...

[Anonymous]

OP said the son comes out "rarely" and for "short periods" I don't understand the beef, but if you can do a better job why don't you coach.

[Anonymous]

Be the coach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said the son comes out "rarely" and for "short periods" I don't understand the beef, but if you can do a better job why don't you coach.

Sorry, not helpful. I am trying to find a good solution; my son is not leaving the team, these are his friends, and it's good training. He, the Coach, and Coach's son are friends (think bday parties and sleep-overs);

So my two options as I see it are to ask one of the less vocal parent to talk to Coach; I talk to Coach, or I STFU.

I'm leaning towards S'ingTFU - this will play itself out; Coach will be exposed or he will adjust. My son gets playing time and is one of the better players - I'm actually less worried about him. When I notice what I perceive to be an injustice it raises my hackles. The fact that I notice a play time injustice on a soccer team with 10yos makes my blood boil; A better coach will coach a team to play together, not rely on his son and other role players.

Thanks for your input Soccer DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said the son comes out "rarely" and for "short periods" I don't understand the beef, but if you can do a better job why don't you coach.

Sorry, not helpful. I am trying to find a good solution; my son is not leaving the team, these are his friends, and it's good training. He, the Coach, and Coach's son are friends (think bday parties and sleep-overs);

So my two options as I see it are to ask one of the less vocal parent to talk to Coach; I talk to Coach, or I STFU.

I'm leaning towards S'ingTFU - this will play itself out; Coach will be exposed or he will adjust. My son gets playing time and is one of the better players - I'm actually less worried about him. When I notice what I perceive to be an injustice it raises my hackles. The fact that I notice a play time injustice on a soccer team with 10yos makes my blood boil; A better coach will coach a team to play together, not rely on his son and other role players.

Thanks for your input Soccer DCUM.

Nobody claimed the answer would be helpful and most folks never claimed there was a solution. What you are being told is that nothing you say or have someone else do your dirty work via proxy will matter.

It is how it is on EVERY TEAM when a parent is coach. If you can solve the Parent Coach paradox then I suggest you work on string theory.

[Anonymous]

You need to go to the head of the soccer program. It is highly unusual to have a parent be a paid coach on a club sport. We did experience this in lacrosse and the outcome was horrible, especially for the players who played the same position as the coach's daughter.

Rec is totally different, and OP said this is NOT a rec team.

[Anonymous]

This is normal. It is bare-knuckled parenting.

[Anonymous]

Every coach I know plays their kids equally, or even less, to seem fairer. Maybe they're just nicer guys.

[Anonymous]

Some studies have shown parent coaches with kids actually play their kids less to avoid favoritism accusations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can do. This is what happens when the coach's son is on the team. Nobody in the history of sports has ever convinced a coach to play their kid less. Give.it.up.

My kids basketball coach. He plays point guard like my 11-year old and his son barely plays. He is hard on his son and my son is clearly much better and has a passion. But, I feel so sorry for his son. He sits him out more than anyone.

My dad was always tougher on me when he coached my travel team so I know how that kid feels. If anything he wanted to make it clear there was no favoritism. But, yes, it’s usually the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some studies have shown parent coaches with kids actually play their kids less to avoid favoritism accusations.

Ours does this.

[Anonymous]

If you want to keep the team and the relationship between your child and the coaches son....then you do nothing. It’s up to the other parents to advocate for their kids. Live and learn a lesson about parent coaches.