Would you date someone who...

[Anonymous]

No. I don't date married people. Separated= still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this with a woman. She was hot. She got her own plaice after a year. We continued to date very seriously. The one thing that happened that gives me pause is when she officially finished her custody piece that had been brewing for three years, and the litigation pressure was off, our relationship changed and we ultimately went separate ways.

Sad a little for the loss, but I’ll say it was worth it. I got him emotional benefits from it as well (in addition to the hot sex), which helped me in other ways.

Why did the relationship change after all matters were resolved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, no. When i was stupider I dated a separated guy who was still living under the marital roof for "financial reasons." Guess what - he was just cheating on his wife!

TBF that’s definitely a financial issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I called it quits more than a year ago, but haven’t made any move to separate legally because of a complicated situation with our kids that has now been resolved. Neither of us has retained a lawyer yet. We sleep in separate bedrooms, but still share the master bathroom. We had planned that he would move out at the end of this month, but he just found out that his contract isn’t being renewed and he doesn’t have another job lined up, so I’m not sure how that will play out. We just spent the holidays together and the two of us are planning a huge international trip together with the kids for this coming summer.

And yet, he has been seeing someone the last few months. Most nights, he doesn’t come home until the wee hours of the morning, but he does always come home. I’ve been wondering what woman would settle for that. I have no idea what he tells women about his marital status. When my parents visited a couple months ago, he thought he was going to sleep in the same bed with me. I had him sleep in the basement, but seriously, would you want to date my husband under these circumstances???

No way. That woman must be desperate as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I don’t date anyone whose divorce hasn’t been finalized for at least a year. The likelihood of them being ready for any kind of healthy relationship is low.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, no. When i was stupider I dated a separated guy who was still living under the marital roof for "financial reasons." Guess what - he was just cheating on his wife!

A friend of mine just wasted a year dating someone like this

[Anonymous]

No. He can call me when the divorce is final.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think these responses are a little harsh, honestly. I do not think it is hard no in all cases.

When did the separation start? And how long has the marriage really been over?

Many, many people have to be separated in the same house for awhile and even until a divorce. It is hard to agree on terms and also to start two new residences.

I am someone who has been separated a year, filing for divorce any day but I can tell you that the marriage has been over since almost the beginning. And there have been separate bedrooms for 5 years now and there was trouble before that. So for someone like me, honest to God, there would be nothing to worry about. There are no lingering feelings as it was over YEARS ago. People will stay for a very long time past a marriage's death for kids.

So to everyone saying, oh no, it is a deal breaker--it is just simply not true in all cases. Really.

So how does this work? Your date picks you up and drops you back off at home where you spend the rest of your time with your not-yet-ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you date someone who was going through marital separation but for financial reasons had to still with their spouse? The person was open and honest about the situation. Each spouse has been dating other people, and sometimes get picked up at the marital home for dates, etc. You and the person have a lot in common and have really hit it off.

BTDT. Never again. Hard NO.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I saw a friend go through a long divorce. He treated women better after it was finalized. He regrets dating during the divorce now.

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband and I separated and were living apart for close to two years. We were screwing the whole time. I had a key to his apartment and all that. We reconciled for another two years and eventually divorced. Now he calls me all the time. Just walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think these responses are a little harsh, honestly. I do not think it is hard no in all cases.

When did the separation start? And how long has the marriage really been over?

Many, many people have to be separated in the same house for awhile and even until a divorce. It is hard to agree on terms and also to start two new residences.

I am someone who has been separated a year, filing for divorce any day but I can tell you that the marriage has been over since almost the beginning. And there have been separate bedrooms for 5 years now and there was trouble before that. So for someone like me, honest to God, there would be nothing to worry about. There are no lingering feelings as it was over YEARS ago. People will stay for a very long time past a marriage's death for kids.

So to everyone saying, oh no, it is a deal breaker--it is just simply not true in all cases. Really.

So how does this work? Your date picks you up and drops you back off at home where you spend the rest of your time with your not-yet-ex?

We don't date, but we could. Been separated for more than a year. Our agreement was signed months ago. Neither of us could claim adultery now. We will date after it is final, but if we were dating, it would not be a problem. It has been beyond over for YEARS. Also, I have an apartment. We go there separately sometimes mainly to get away from each other (kids in the house). But that is recent. My point is, there is no complicated issue in this scenario...it if is truly over and you are literally waiting for the divorce decree, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think these responses are a little harsh, honestly. I do not think it is hard no in all cases.

When did the separation start? And how long has the marriage really been over?

Many, many people have to be separated in the same house for awhile and even until a divorce. It is hard to agree on terms and also to start two new residences.

I am someone who has been separated a year, filing for divorce any day but I can tell you that the marriage has been over since almost the beginning. And there have been separate bedrooms for 5 years now and there was trouble before that. So for someone like me, honest to God, there would be nothing to worry about. There are no lingering feelings as it was over YEARS ago. People will stay for a very long time past a marriage's death for kids.

So to everyone saying, oh no, it is a deal breaker--it is just simply not true in all cases. Really.

So how does this work? Your date picks you up and drops you back off at home where you spend the rest of your time with your not-yet-ex?

I just responded to this but forgot to add one thing. We don't spend any time together in the house. We have not for years. It is big...very easy to be in separate rooms all of the time. No meals, no hanging out, talking only about the kids and that is IT. It is like living with a coworker or a roommate.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

No.