I never develop friendships with cat people, partly because of this. It's just disgusting. |
+1 No kidding!! |
Eff off, cat hater! |
29 years!! He jumped on the table when you weren't there. |
m Yes. I mean I can’t believe you’d go back after she made you sick multiple times. There’s just no way I would even think about going back. |
I love cats but my neighbor frequently hosts and her cat prowls the counters and table during food prep and dinner. I eat sparingly and luckily they’re often potlucks so I can eat mostly food from neighbors’ houses and have a full-looking plate. I also help in the kitchen partly because I know exactly what’s been put in the oven or how long it’s been out of the fridge and on the counter (and therefore touched by the cat).
Are cat allergies an option? DH’s have become severe, not just making it up to escape, so it’s known that we never can stay long. So...maybe you or your DH are experiencing worsening allergies, too? |
Tell her you can't make it for dinner but you can make it for dessert - then show up with a dessert.
What I'm struggling with is why, at previous dinners, you haven't pointed out mold on food, food prepared with unclean hands or cats on prep surfaces. You see a kid about to make something with unclean hands, tell the kid to wash his hands. Push the cats off the prep surfaces (with a loud exclamation) and ask for disinfectant. You seem to prefer suffering in silence. |
If you are close with her, and you care about her, I would let her know - you guys are fighting off a bug, and last year you guys have both got sick. So you will have to sit this one out. Tell her, without telling her. Give her a clue. There is a gentler way to let her know, you think you have a weaker immune system (we know you dont its a lie, roll with it) and there is something in her house that seems to leave you guys sick each time you come.
Basically, tell her it is dirty without calling her dirty. |
Decline. You should have gotten way ahead of this and invited her over for holiday drinks weeks ago. |
I literally am one of those ones that has severe anaphylactic food allergies and severe allergies to dust & pet fur. (Yes, Allergist supervised.) I even have to carry an epi-pen. So my new friend has an absolutely filthy house. Teeming with dust, dirt, hairballs, and animal fur. I visited her only once - spent the entire time trying to keep from convulsively sneezing. I really like her friendship - but simply can't go over there for her Thanksgiving invite. I actually could go into anaphylaxis. I appreciate all these tips here. It will help me back out. No I'm not comfortable sharing all of my medical stuff with her as to why I'm backing out. In my experience, most don't understand the slippery slope of severe allergies, anyway. |
Why was this thread revived from 4 years ago? |
This seems a bit extreme. You and your spouse both got food poisoning on separate years and there is visible mold on food? If that’s the case, I would be truthful with your friend and decline. Pretending to eat, bringing your own food, or cancelling last minute are terrible ways to treat a friend. If this description is an exaggeration, just suck it up and eat foods that come from the oven. |
I do not eat in dirty houses at all, as a rule. I don’t care if the host is offended. This has not caused any issues for me. |
Because the germophobes are trying to reintegrate into society. |
Take off your pants when you get there. Put your bare ass right onto the dip. Then say “ aahhh that feels better.”
Then take off your shoes. Take a cracker with your toes dip it in the dip and eat it with delight. Ain’t no shame in being a dirty filthy shithole. You can do it together! |