What to do if invited to eat at a dirty house?

[Anonymous]

Develop a cat allergy. Apologize profusely, but tell her that you can’t be around cats or anywhere that cats have been. Suggest meeting at a restaurant or your house instead.

[Anonymous]

Decline and tell your family has a bug.

[Anonymous]

This is either serious, as you portray it, or it isn't. If serious, of course you decline. If she asks why, you tell her.

[Anonymous]

Look, the issue here is that OP doesn't want to go to this dinner because her friend is gross, but she also doesn't want to stop being friends with her friend.

OP, if you start declining suddenly for a bunch of different reasons, I agree that they will suggest rescheduling. I think that the best strategy here would be to talk with your friend and be straight (but gentle) with her. "Sarah, when we were there last year, the vegetables on your crudite platter were clearly expired and I saw the cat walking around on the counter in the food prep area. I also saw the kids sticking their unwashed hands into food that was then put on the table. One year I got sick after the dinner. I haven't mentioned this to you before because I did not want to hurt your feelings, but this year, we'd prefer to host or meet at a restaurant."

If this ends the friendship, at least your friend knows why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, the issue here is that OP doesn't want to go to this dinner because her friend is gross, but she also doesn't want to stop being friends with her friend.

OP, if you start declining suddenly for a bunch of different reasons, I agree that they will suggest rescheduling. I think that the best strategy here would be to talk with your friend and be straight (but gentle) with her. "Sarah, when we were there last year, the vegetables on your crudite platter were clearly expired and I saw the cat walking around on the counter in the food prep area. I also saw the kids sticking their unwashed hands into food that was then put on the table. One year I got sick after the dinner. I haven't mentioned this to you before because I did not want to hurt your feelings, but this year, we'd prefer to host or meet at a restaurant."

If this ends the friendship, at least your friend knows why.

This will almost certainly end the friendship.

[Anonymous]

A cat allergy is your best out, OP. If you have a cat, you can say that for some reason you don’t react to your own cat. Tell her cats cause you to have an asthma attack.

[Anonymous]

I had a cat for 29 years who never walked on tables! Gross! I would decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a cat for 29 years who never walked on tables! Gross! I would decline.

lol

Cat owners are so cute. The cat never walked on tables when you were around...

[Anonymous]

If you must go, only eat food that has been thoroughly cooked. Avoid, fish, rice, pasta salad, greens, charcuterie, crudités, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Develop a cat allergy. Apologize profusely, but tell her that you can’t be around cats or anywhere that cats have been. Suggest meeting at a restaurant or your house instead.

I was going to say this, too. Seems like an easy out. I have a (real and severe) cat allergy and I never get push back when declining an invite for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Come down with the “flu” or stomach bug and offer up going out to eat in the new year.

[Anonymous]

I vote for cat allergy

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is why I don’t have that many friends, but when she offers the crudités I’d say “thanks but no thanks, there’s mold on that”.
And eat before going to her place.

[Anonymous]

So when you say “sick”. What do you mean? Food poisoning or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a cat for 29 years who never walked on tables! Gross! I would decline.

Your cat is in the minority, then. I have a dog who is a picky eater. He's definitely in the minority!!!