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I would not care at all if someone guessed the gender of my kid wrong but the anti bow contingent is just as crazy as the, "my baby needs a bow to leave the house so no one thinks she's a boy" contingent.
Basically everything I dress my baby in is a personal choice based on my own aesthetic. She could wear white onesies and white blankets and hats 24/7 and have all her needs met extremely economically. So every once in awhile I put a bow on there, yes like a doll. Because what is a doll essentially? It's a toy that children play with to pretend they are caring for a pretend child. Part of that is dressing the child. |
No one here is arguing that dressing a baby girl in pink is bad. No one here is arguing that even dressing a baby in a dress is bad. We're arguing that bows serve no purpose (unlike clothes) and are a hazard. Make any aesthetic choice you want! But to put your baby in something UNCOMFORTABLE AND DANGEROUS because it's your ~aesthetic choice~ is horrible. |
- Hannah Gadsby, “Nanette” |
I understand your argument. My argument is that a dress is just as superfluous and unnecessary and potentially uncomfortable as a bow. I don't dress my baby in uncomfortable bows or dresses but I've seen plenty of baby boys in bow ties and shoes and baby girls in tulle dresses to know that parents of many styles dress their kids up, particularly for photos, in ways that at least temporarily prioritize the baby's appearance over its comfort. Im sure some bows are UNCOMFORTABLE AND DANGEROUS ( ) but plenty (baby bling bows for example) are soft and stretchy and provide no discomfort or danger as long as they're removed when the baby is sleeping or unsupervised.
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+1 I got them when I was pregnant but she hates them. When she was little my mom always asked where her bow was and acted like I was just being a millennial trying to ungender a beautiful princess. She babysat for us and (predictably) put her in one of the bow headbands we had from our shower, and when I got back I said "she hates those things, they're too tight" and my mom just raved about how cute she was. When I took it off and there was a deep red line on her forehead she almost burst into tears. Hasn't tried to "sneak" a bow headband onto her since. Maybe when she gets more hair we can see about barrettes, but for now it's not worth it. |
This is so cute. |
True. We live in a society where men and women (and boys and girls) often wear different clothing. Do you dress yourself exclusively in gender neutral clothing? |
The point is they were responding to someone saying "the bow has nothing to do with proving gender....maybe some people just like bows". If it was just a love of bows and nothing to do with gender, that PP (was that you?) would put them on sons too. That's not what's happening, because it is about gender. That's the PPs' point. You haven't disproved it by trying to move the goalposts with this response, just shown you can't follow the thread. |
Well I'm an adult and get to decide if I want to put myself in something impractical and uncomfortable in order to signal my gender. A baby doesn't get that choice. |
DP. I accept your general note that yes bows are worn basically exclusively by girls but that still doesnt mean they are necessarily intended to signal gender. I wear dresses because I like dresses not to inform the world I am a woman. Same for the color purple and other subtle signals I give that communicate my gender. I like handbags and wear them.and the fact that I do makes it clear I am a woman but I am not wearing them in order to.make sure everyone knows I'm a woman. You're trying to reduce a complicated thing about how we want to present ourselves outwardly as being exclusively tied to gender when in fact we're all trying to communicate our identity, consciously and subconsciously and our gender identity is a part of that and therefore informs our personal likes and dislikes. |
15:21 here, and: well, no. Nobody is doing that. How "we want to present ourselves" is always fine. That's a personal choice. This is about how some parents are insisting on presenting girl babies, and to a different PPs point, doing so even though some of the bows recommended in this thread are potentially unsafe. So an adult wearing a dress to express personal likes and dislikes is not analogous. But the person saying "it has nothing to do with gender" is full of it. And FTR, I'm a mom of a baby girl, I have bought bows for her, but she doesn't like them so she doesn't wear them. I don't have anything against bows in general. But the disingenuousness of parents saying that bows have nothing to do with gender, or if you don't put bows on your daughter you're actually a misogynist -- it's all nonsense. |
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Just don't
I think they are low-class |
Get a grip. I used to dress my girl baby in her brother's hand me downs. No one died. What on earth difference does it make? |