Awkward situation with nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny.

And the nanny might be looking for a new boss. One that is less cheap. Remember this is all about $60. What should be a drop in the bucket for the boss, but a lot of money for the nanny.

Whatever. $60 is not a drop in the bucket. Plenty of people have nannies and are on very tight budgets but have no other option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's totally reasonable that you pay her cash under the table with no records and no taxes or benefits but expect her to cover your mistake just like she was a legitimate employee.

+1 We are heading into the holidays and she was working overtime. I could easily imagine her thinking you were paying her time and a half, or just giving her a little bonus heading into Thanksgiving.

+2 I think you confused her by doubling down on your cheapness, op.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you didn’t put her in a financial bind by doing this. She may have thought the extra $60 was some kind of tip/bonus, and perhaps had already committed that money to something (especially with the holidays coming up) before you realized your error and told her days later. In that cSe, by deducting it from the next paycheck, you may have left her short on rent or some other necessity.

[Anonymous]

I would be worried that she is the kind of person who brought up what she perceived as an underpayment but didn’t mention the overpayment herself. She is clearly keeping very careful track of what she gets paid, so she definitely noticed the extra money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had an awkward situation with our nanny and not quite sure how to put it all behind us. Our nanny works a couple hours overtime 2-3 times per month if DH and I have to work late or have something at the kids’ school. Three weeks ago she worked 3 hours overtime so we paid her an extra $75 on top of her weekly salary. We pay her in cash, and when I went to the ATM I had taken out some extra money as well for myself but forgot to separate it out so I ended up giving the nanny an extra $60. I didn’t realize it until 2 days later when I could not find the money. Nanny did not say anything about the extra money.

On Monday morning when she came in to work I mentioned that I gave her an extra $60 accidentally and that she can just keep it for now, and we can deduct it from her overtime the next time she babysits. She said ok and confirmed she had received the extra money - said she just assumed we were giving her extra.

So, this week we had her work late on Wednesday night and then she was off Thursday and Friday. We paid her for the full week and since she worked 3 hours of overtime again so I owed her $75 but deducted the $60 and paid her just the extra $15 on top of her salary. When I gave her the cash I mentioned that I deducted the $60 from when we overpaid and she kind of looked at me blankly and nodded. Later that night when she got home she texted me that she wanted to check in because her money was a little short. I explained again that I had overpaid her by $60 and we owed her $75 so the difference is $15 which I paid her. She seems thoroughly confused and keeps asking why we didn’t pay her the full amount. I keep explaining but she just seems extremely confused and annoyed.

I feel like this has now become a “thing” when it really should not have. At this point she stopped responding to my texts and i tried to call her because I thought it would be easier to explain over the phone but she didn’t answer. Part of me just wants to smooth this over but at the same time I am not sure I love how she is handling the situation since I feel like she genuinely believe we held back money from her when we did not.

What would you do here?

So you have a nanny who is good to your kids, you trust and who works extra hours on your whims with no problem. Yet you are fighting with her over $60? What the f is wrong with you? She is most likely living pay check to pay check. You have put her in financial stress. Maybe she could not afford to eat this week? I know how hard it is to get a nanny who you trust and fits in with your family. You apologize to her and make her whole.

Also are you paying her social security? How does that work when you start deducting from her pay check. Do you have a contract with her? What does your contract say about deduction from her pay check? If she work x hours you have to pay her for x hours. You can not just deduct money from her paycheck. Unless you are paying her under the table?

[Anonymous]

Y’all on page three need to chill. This chick I mean nanny is making $25 a hour.

The Op is clearly not being cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all on page three need to chill. This chick I mean nanny is making $25 a hour.

The Op is clearly not being cheap.

That’s her overtime rate. If OP is paying time and a half for overtime, that means the nanny is getting more like $16/hr for regular time, which is peanuts for a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Unless I missed it, you haven’t answered if there’s a language barrier. She could’ve thought it was a tip, she may not understand what you meant by discounting it on the next check (and just acknowledged to be polite ) or you may simply have never given her the money at all. If I were you I would send her a text apologizing for the confusion and forget about the $60.

[Anonymous]

This is the woman who cares for your children. Who willingly works overtime when you need her to. And you destroyed a relationship over $60? She probably assumed it was a tip.

[Anonymous]

Recommendation -
1 - make her "whole"
2 - reduce her holiday bonus by $60

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny.

And the nanny might be looking for a new boss. One that is less cheap. Remember this is all about $60. What should be a drop in the bucket for the boss, but a lot of money for the nanny.

Good riddance then. OP explained her mistake and if nanny chooses to play dumb it’s as good as stealing the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny.

And the nanny might be looking for a new boss. One that is less cheap. Remember this is all about $60. What should be a drop in the bucket for the boss, but a lot of money for the nanny.

Good riddance then. OP explained her mistake and if nanny chooses to play dumb it’s as good as stealing the money.

I think there was a major miscommunication and I don’t think the nanny understands that the $60 was a mistake. However, that relationship might not be salvageable because it can be very difficult to come back from negative feelings, especially in such a close relationship.

[Anonymous]

How do you give someone $75+$60 without realizing that it's a lot more bills? Was it in an envelope?
Does she know how much she receives for OT of 3 hours?
Does nodding really mean that she understood she got extra $60 besides the $75?
Have misunderstandings happen before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look for a new nanny.

And the nanny might be looking for a new boss. One that is less cheap. Remember this is all about $60. What should be a drop in the bucket for the boss, but a lot of money for the nanny.

Whatever. $60 is not a drop in the bucket. Plenty of people have nannies and are on very tight budgets but have no other option.

There are other options cheaper than a nanny.

[Anonymous]

From another MB
I have many domestic helps such as nanny maid Home tutor for my son etc.
I have never encountered such issue OP had. The nanny is either not so smart or is a dishonest person. None of which characters I would like near my kid.
So I would probably let it go ( it’s just $60)if this is one isolated issue, but would start looking for other signs / evidence of dishonesty or stupidity etc . If those traits are confirmed then start looking for a new one.