Awkward situation with nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, for anyone who wants to know how the saga ends. Nanny came in this morning as usual and I told her I am sorry for the confusion and we don’t want to make an issue over $60, so I handed it to her in cash. She said thanks and took the money and hopefully that’s that. I think a part of me was thinking she would not accept it since it clearly was a mistake in the first place, but guess not.

You confused the sh1t out of her, OP. I doubt the relationship is salvageable. She is probably looking for another job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, for anyone who wants to know how the saga ends. Nanny came in this morning as usual and I told her I am sorry for the confusion and we don’t want to make an issue over $60, so I handed it to her in cash. She said thanks and took the money and hopefully that’s that. I think a part of me was thinking she would not accept it since it clearly was a mistake in the first place, but guess not.

Oh man, if giving her the $60 back was some kind of test then you shouldn't have done it. Come on, put yourself in her shoes. Why would you give her the cash with the hope that she wouldn't accept it? That's some passive aggressive nonsense. You're her boss and you need to be graceful and act like one.

[Anonymous]

Think of it this way, OP: you are saving a ton of money by hiring someone not qualified as an early childcare educator, so the $60 is very small in comparison to hiring a professional nanny, making a livable wage, being paid legally! So really, you’re still coming out ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, how was the interaction this morning?

I responded on the last page (7).

I see it now. How are you feeling about the situation, not so great I bet. I commented upthread that I don't think you can move on from this and will most likely have to find a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how many of these holier-than-thou posters are paying under the table IRL.

We used a company to issued pay checks and took care of social security. Our nanny got every federal holiday, three weeks vacation and week off over Christmas/New years. When we took vacations, she got paid time off. I bet you are one of those women who complains about how women are under paid and exploited while you screw your nanny over for $60.

How noble of you. You deserve sainthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't pay her in cash anymore. No more confusion.

If my employer overpaid me it would come off my next cheque. What makes people think a nanny should be different?

Does anybody here get a "Thanksgiving bonus"?

My, my aren't we affected. Cheque. In this country the correct spelling is check!

Have you never travelled anywhere else? How provincial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, for anyone who wants to know how the saga ends. Nanny came in this morning as usual and I told her I am sorry for the confusion and we don’t want to make an issue over $60, so I handed it to her in cash. She said thanks and took the money and hopefully that’s that. I think a part of me was thinking she would not accept it since it clearly was a mistake in the first place, but guess not.

You confused the sh1t out of her, OP. I doubt the relationship is salvageable. She is probably looking for another job.

Dear god, I would hope so. She might give at least two weeks' notice, if she is particularly generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, for anyone who wants to know how the saga ends. Nanny came in this morning as usual and I told her I am sorry for the confusion and we don’t want to make an issue over $60, so I handed it to her in cash. She said thanks and took the money and hopefully that’s that. I think a part of me was thinking she would not accept it since it clearly was a mistake in the first place, but guess not.

You confused the sh1t out of her, OP. I doubt the relationship is salvageable. She is probably looking for another job.

Dear god, I would hope so. She might give at least two weeks' notice, if she is particularly generous.

Probably this. I don’t think you can salvage the relationship either.

[Anonymous]

See, now you sound resentful of her. I don’t think this relationship is salvageable, either, since now you’re going to think poorly of her over your stupid mistake and she probably thinks you’re crazy. How’s that for the probable end of a good employee-employer relationship over $60?

[Anonymous]

OP: Ignore all the criticism on here for paying on/off the books.
This is not even related to the topic at hand.
If people are truly bothered by cash, they should realize that in beauty + nail salons, many of the workers pocket daily tips and do not report them annually.

Same for tattoo artists/body piercers, massage therapists, etc.
Many professions that provide a service usually receive tips in ca$h.
Heck, the guy who helps an elderly customer taking her shopping cart to her vehicle, then kindly assisting w/the unloading of groceries into the trunk may receive a cash tip!

Let us stay ON TOPIC.
OP, I think you should have just chalked up your $60 as a loss & let it go.
Because now things are awkward & it is so not worth it.
The Nanny likely thought you were adding in extra for appreciation or the like.

My bosses sometimes let me know that they do not have change when I babysit for them on Saturday evenings so they let me know up front.
(Since I am paid via check during the week, this tends to only occur on weekends.)

If they overpaid me, then even mentioned the $$ later on - I would feel hurt & unappreciated.

And it would always be awkward between us so I would simply restart w/another employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's totally reasonable that you pay her cash under the table with no records and no taxes or benefits but expect her to cover your mistake just like she was a legitimate employee.

I've had a nanny for 8 years and have never had this situation because we pay her on the books (yes, even for OT) through a payroll service.

[Anonymous]

Slash her holiday bonus. She is an idiot for being so short sighted.
She did not mention the extra money - fine. But she ACKNOWLEDGED she received it and even offered to give it back - yet played stupid later so as to keep it.
She is both dishonest and stupid.
Look for another nanny.
Signed,
Someone who has both employed and worked as a nanny

[Anonymous]

I feel like people are being so nasty on this thread.

Op, you sound reasonable and fair to me. I think your nanny is being shady.