Awkwardness, acne, adolecence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I bought my daughter and I silk pillowcases.
2. I got her to be very good about washing her face each night.
3. I made sure she had friends from different walks of life.
4. I pointed out to her how awkwardly other girls her age stood (as if they've just discovered they have arms and don't know where to put them or what to do with them) so she didn't feel alone
5. I did fun things with her every few days (go for a walk, get Starbucks - nothing big) so she'd be able to get out without having to overthink how she looked or what she said.
6. I allowed her to try every face wash she wanted, and get any coverup she wanted.

What?? The answer is to make fun of other girls? You are a terrible example. This is where mean girl behavior starts - from the moms.

Oh please, give me a break. She's not saying to make fun of other girls. She's showing her DD that the awkward physical stuff is common and nothing to be ashamed of. I thought that that was great advice, given than my own 14 year old DD is also in this weird, gangly, baby giraffe stage of life where she doesn't seem to know how to naturally walk while swinging her arms anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP- ProActive. If you haven't bought her this, you have failed as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dermatologist before it gets worse and she risks permanent scarring. My husband and SIL both had horrible acne - there is definitely a genetic factor to it. They both have permanent scarring and pitting.

My mom had fairly bad acne and has some scarring. She was on top of it for me and I went on prescription antibiotics (with no long-term sides effects) and BC for bad cramping but it did help with my skin.

I wouldn't say that my skin is perfect but I don't have scarring. My mom's scarring is honestly not that bad but it still had a huge impact on her self-esteem.

Do what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do I get DD (14) to stop picking her acne? She already is seeing a dermatologist but the picking defeats any medicine or cleaning regime she has. Do take her to an aesthetician? Threaten to take away her phone?

Could it be anxiety?

.

Possibly. If so then what?

NP, I want to speak to this because I've got a 15 y.o. DD and learned the hard way.

PP, this picking at the face is the same as twirling the hair. It is a "thing" that has a medical name (I have unfortunately forgotten it) and once the pattern is established, it is incredibly hard to break without help.

The first thing to do is get her to take a supplement called N-A-C. This has found to help with these two behaviors. It takes a month to work, so be patient.

You may have to take her to a therapist (I had to with my DD). Just to give an example, my DD has incredible willpower and excels both athletically and academically, but she has finally admitted that she cannot stop picking her face.

Her athletic schedule is so bad, I couldn't get her to the therapist during her hours, so the therapist recommended an online program you can get under skinpick.com. It's a little pricey but has a good success rate. My DD is doing it now.

[Anonymous]

ALl of these posts on hair washing and skin treatments are great but could be useless. She is hitting puberty-- both my kids have gone through this.

For acne-- take her to a dermatologist. My daughter an older teen still picks her acne, making it worse. There is nothing you can do about this-- they have to want to stop on their own. But some acne is persistent and is hormone related and may take a long time and many meds to get rid of.

Hair-- both mine had greasy hair. Get a dry shampoo and research shampoos that are good for greasy hair. Washing every day is likely NOT the answer if you do research. Dry shampoo in the morning helps.

But mostly-- is SHE upset about this stuff or are YOU pointing this stuff out? Think about that before doing anything. If you are constantly on her about this stuff it will make her feel worse.

[Anonymous]

Adolescence was very unkind to my DD. She came down with sudden health problems like epilepsy and asthma.

But far, far worse--for her--was the acne. I mistakenly put it at the end of the list of things to worry about, but I should have put it near the top. Perhaps if I had had acne myself as a child, I would not have been so clueless about the psychological damage acne can cause.

If I had to do it over, I would have treated it like a medical emergency. Okay, not really, but the point is treat this as seriously as your teen takes it.