People with adult children

[Anonymous]

Adult child. We last got together as a family... three years ago. I think everyone is more or less in touch with the grandparents but the only real/alive tie is grandchildren. I don’t call my parents to just talk about life. They hardly if ever call us. My siblings and I don’t try to get together much. Maybe once a year, if that? I have friends I’m closer to.

[Anonymous]

I have a close friend with adult kids. Three kids are scattered around the country and one is overseas. They are rarely all together but they constantly text and FT so they seem to get along pretty well. My friend takes trips to visit each of them as much as she can but it's tough. She doesn't have a huge savings account, she's divorced and has had a lot of health problems the past few years. They each visit her probably about once or twice a year, sometimes all together around the holidays but not all of them every year.

I don't think you can predict at all what your adult children will be like or what choices they'll make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:our kids are 29, 25, and 22. still bank-rolling their lives. it's like having a dental procedure that never ends.

Haha. What do you think contributed to being 3 for 3 on failure to launch?

probably failure to cut the cords on our part... but, seriously, 2 are still in school (phd and md programs), the oldest one got his phd and doing his postdoc work so we are still happy to help him out here and there. it's not causing us financial stress.

PhDs are fully funded. My sibling and I were both financially independent from the time we started our PhDs. I worked during grad school, not bc I had to but to make things financially easier for myself (afford trips, etc.).

well, your parents did a better job than we are doing with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Our three adult children are all married with children and we live within an hour of them part of the year. They are great friends and often see each other regardless of where we are. We are really blessed that they all are doing well. I love that they actually seek guidance from us on so many things. When they were teens we were pretty dumb and now we are smart. Funny how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our three adult children are all married with children and we live within an hour of them part of the year. They are great friends and often see each other regardless of where we are. We are really blessed that they all are doing well. I love that they actually seek guidance from us on so many things. When they were teens we were pretty dumb and now we are smart. Funny how that works.

Full circle of life from "my parents know everything" when they are little to "my parents are so dumb/don't know anything" when they are teens and early 20s to "my parents know a lot" when they are older to "I wish my parents were here so i can ask them" after parents die.

[Anonymous]

OP why such a huge age gap? What are the ages?
Second marriage?

What kind of relationship do you have with your adult kids that they both moved away? Family dynamics?

My adult kids live close by like most close families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:our kids are 29, 25, and 22. still bank-rolling their lives. it's like having a dental procedure that never ends.

Haha. What do you think contributed to being 3 for 3 on failure to launch?

probably failure to cut the cords on our part... but, seriously, 2 are still in school (phd and md programs), the oldest one got his phd and doing his postdoc work so we are still happy to help him out here and there. it's not causing us financial stress.

PhDs are fully funded. My sibling and I were both financially independent from the time we started our PhDs. I worked during grad school, not bc I had to but to make things financially easier for myself (afford trips, etc.).

well, your parents did a better job than we are doing with our kids.

PP who is helping adult children getting advanced degrees. I just finished my PhD and my parents were instrumental in helping me. I was fully funded btw. I am so grateful to them and when I have myself situated I fully expect to pay for their plane tickets when they visit and give them nice gifts. They are financially secure and won't need anything from me but it is the least I can do. I am willing to bet your adult children feel the same way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:our kids are 29, 25, and 22. still bank-rolling their lives. it's like having a dental procedure that never ends.

Haha. What do you think contributed to being 3 for 3 on failure to launch?

probably failure to cut the cords on our part... but, seriously, 2 are still in school (phd and md programs), the oldest one got his phd and doing his postdoc work so we are still happy to help him out here and there. it's not causing us financial stress.

PhDs are fully funded. My sibling and I were both financially independent from the time we started our PhDs. I worked during grad school, not bc I had to but to make things financially easier for myself (afford trips, etc.).

well, your parents did a better job than we are doing with our kids.

PP who is helping adult children getting advanced degrees. I just finished my PhD and my parents were instrumental in helping me. I was fully funded btw. I am so grateful to them and when I have myself situated I fully expect to pay for their plane tickets when they visit and give them nice gifts. They are financially secure and won't need anything from me but it is the least I can do. I am willing to bet your adult children feel the same way!

Have two adult kids that I am still supporting. One has mental health issues and lives at home. The other had significant physical health issues for a number of years and that delayed college. Will be going to med school next year and we will be paying for that.

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both one of four siblings.

In both of our families, the three younger siblings have a tight bond, get along well, and try to see each other as often as possible. The oldest in each family is the one who we don't speak to often and don't see often. Don't know why it worked out that way, just did. Maybe the oldest just ends up being the most independent.

In recent years, my oldest brother and youngest brother have been fighting and there's some underlying tension there when we all get together. Other than that, I think it's awesome having so many siblings.

[Anonymous]

I adore my three adult children and admire them for who they have become. They are all happily married with children, are successful in their careers and they are best friends. My husband and I take great pride in whatever part we may have played. I think it helps that we have always had a very happy marriage and that our children were always our top priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP why such a huge age gap? What are the ages?
Second marriage?

What kind of relationship do you have with your adult kids that they both moved away? Family dynamics?

My adult kids live close by like most close families.

Nice subtle dig...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s it like being the parent of adult children? Wondering what it’s like if you have a large family... is it impossible to get everyone together? Does everyone get along? It it too costly to travel and visit everyone? Did everyone stay close or move far away?

DP If they are adults, than they aren't children. I treat my new adults as adults.