Would you open a poison pen letter?

[Anonymous]

Three hours for dinner is a trap. You feel like she does it for herself? You can’t go visit your own mother? You are in for a surprise later in life OP.

[Anonymous]

I get poison pen emails now from mom who i think may have early sigbns of dementia. I never know which will be poison because she always starts sweet-sometimes stays sweets, sometimes hides daggars in the middle. I have a whole email box devoted to her and I go and read them when I have wine or something.

[Anonymous]

up. I'm glad for the both of you that you both got a letter. Years back, I got one from my step mom. Called my sis to ask what I should do, since I was pretty shaken. Her response? "What? This is your first one?"

Haha priceless response.

Thread is fascinating! Never knew of this poison pen letter thing. Very strange and entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As background, my mom went off on me a few weeks ago on the phone saying she feels taken advantage of and that she was too angry to talk, then hanging up the phone. I sent an emailing saying I was sorry she feels that way, wished she had spoken up earlier, and would like to talk through her feelings when she’s ready. I sent two more follow up emails with zero acknowledgment. (Before I get attacked, my parents watch my kids on Wednesday after school — by their own request. They asked this summer if they could, I said yes. We did the same thing last year. My kids are in aftercare until 6, so this essentially means my parents pick them up at 530, I’d meet them at my house and then we’d all go out to dinner, which I pay for). This is it. They do no other babysitting. They live 1.5 hours away, so when I say none, I mean none.

I just found out my sister just got a poison pen letter in snail mail today (I was told to pass along my mother’s angry words to my sister during that first call). I’m sure mine is in my mailbox.

I feel this is so immature. I’m thinking of just ignoring it’s arrival and never reading it.

We have a family event on Saturday so I will see my mother soon.

So, looking for a reality check - am I comply off-base by simply ignoring the letter?

Wait. Your parents drive 3 hours every Wednesday to see your kids and YOU"RE feeling resentful that you're paying for dinner when it is your choice to go out? Wow. And then you call her immature? And then after you emailing her a few times she responds in writing and you're calling her response a poison pen letter? As opposed to your emails which were, what, a holly jolly thanks for being interested grandparents who go out of their way to see their grandkids? And then you slam her because she doesn't babysit (for free, I assume, because I can't see you ponying up to compensate her)? Really.

I gotta say that just based on your post above and then your response/s elsewhere, I totally get where your mom is coming from and I'm a mom like you, not a grandma. You really take the cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL when an old women writes a nasty letter she isn't trying to get you to understand how she feels. Hell no. It is a PROCLAMATION and TESTAMENT of everything that is wrong with you and right with her. It is expected that upon receiving this official and formal document that you promptly start kissing her old feet.

Careful. God willing, you will be an old woman one day and maybe in need of some grace and compassion from your own children for your not so nice ways.

What you fail to understand is that some women write letters when they're younger and continue into their old age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As background, my mom went off on me a few weeks ago on the phone saying she feels taken advantage of and that she was too angry to talk, then hanging up the phone. I sent an emailing saying I was sorry she feels that way, wished she had spoken up earlier, and would like to talk through her feelings when she’s ready. I sent two more follow up emails with zero acknowledgment. (Before I get attacked, my parents watch my kids on Wednesday after school — by their own request. They asked this summer if they could, I said yes. We did the same thing last year. My kids are in aftercare until 6, so this essentially means my parents pick them up at 530, I’d meet them at my house and then we’d all go out to dinner, which I pay for). This is it. They do no other babysitting. They live 1.5 hours away, so when I say none, I mean none.

I just found out my sister just got a poison pen letter in snail mail today (I was told to pass along my mother’s angry words to my sister during that first call). I’m sure mine is in my mailbox.

I feel this is so immature. I’m thinking of just ignoring it’s arrival and never reading it.

We have a family event on Saturday so I will see my mother soon.

So, looking for a reality check - am I comply off-base by simply ignoring the letter?

Wait. Your parents drive 3 hours every Wednesday to see your kids and YOU"RE feeling resentful that you're paying for dinner when it is your choice to go out? Wow. And then you call her immature? And then after you emailing her a few times she responds in writing and you're calling her response a poison pen letter? As opposed to your emails which were, what, a holly jolly thanks for being interested grandparents who go out of their way to see their grandkids? And then you slam her because she doesn't babysit (for free, I assume, because I can't see you ponying up to compensate her)? Really.

I gotta say that just based on your post above and then your response/s elsewhere, I totally get where your mom is coming from and I'm a mom like you, not a grandma. You really take the cake.

You seem triggered.

[Anonymous]

I'd read it/save it to enjoy at future times.

But at the event I'd say "I just got a letter from you in the mail this AM! I didn't get time to read it, what did it say?" and see what she says in front of the other guests- because that would be FUNNY/Entertaining!

[Anonymous]

Ha! OP writes 3 (!!!) poison pen missives that her mom doesn't respond to. Her mom eventually, weeks later, writes her own missive to OP, and OP is calling it poison pen without even opening it. And OP is saying her mom is the problem. Oh brother is OP confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three hours for dinner is a trap. You feel like she does it for herself? You can’t go visit your own mother? You are in for a surprise later in life OP.

+1