Did you know you were done at a certain number of kids? Or was it more a financial decision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its not so much the money, but time. Can you really give 4 kids the 1-1 they need.

That's a big issue for us. DH and I both work FT and neither of us plans to change that. We can technically afford a second kid (our HHI is about $375K) but we want to be able to have certain flexibility and lifestyle, including:

- Being able to save for college and retirement without undue stress
- Being able to take nice vacations with DD to help her see the world
- Being able to give her our attention. We are both exhausted at the end of the day and can't really imagine having to deal with a preschooler and an infant.

We know ourselves well enough to know we can be great parents to 1 kid, but probably at best ok parents to 2 kids. We chose to not overextend ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four fits in the log flume at an amusement park. More would be tricky, so we stopped.

Interesting “test”. Do you particularly love log flumes or what?

I agree with this pp. Roller coasters, standard hotel rooms, sedan rental cars, 4 top tables at restaurants, having 4 people is just a convenient number. And for us it partly was financial. We do well but wanted to easily find college and weddings, help with grad school and down payments, be generous with our grandchildren (time and money) and this all just seemed more doable with 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

While it's true that another kid would have stretched us financially, that actually had nothing to do with our decision to stop at 2. I never, not ever for even one second, thought that I might want 3...it took me a while to even come around on the decision to have 2 and I'm perfectly happy with that choice for so many reasons.

[Anonymous]

With three children and two careers and both being in our late 30's we had too much going on to want to have a fourth. But i really enjoyed being pregnant and cuddling a baby so if we had had a fourth I would have been "well, I guess BC didn't work so we have to suck it up and enjoy it." My children are young adults now and I would be very proud to have had one more like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We currently have 2 kids and are expecting our 3rd. We are on the fence about having a 4th and will need to decide sooner than later due to our ages (36 years old). Did you have a "feeling" and just know you were done having kids? Or was it more a financial decision? We can afford more (decent HHI - $450K) but not sure if it would make sense. Our kids will be 3 and 5 when the new baby comes. I have a super flexible job and work from home but DH works a lot of hours and has a very inflexible job.

Also FWIW our older two are pretty easy going and I haven't found it very difficult dealing with the two of them. They have both been sleeping through the night since 4 months old and are pretty chill kids (with their mix of insanity like any normal toddler thrown in).

Two was our plan and enough. Never wanted more.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financial. HHI of $165. We can’t afford more than two. Knowing that fewer people on Earth is better for the environment helps. Knowing that my husband only wanted two helps, but I still want to meet those other two kids. I don’t talk about it, because I don’t want DH to feel pressured. Just can’t shake the feeling.

PP - sorry, I missed this one.

And, sorry that you feel as if you are missing something, but I appreciate your at least considering that excessive procreation has enormous potential impact...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

Yawn, there are plenty of ways to reduce your environmental impact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

Yes, you did.
Middle of second page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

Yawn, there are plenty of ways to reduce your environmental impact.

Yawn, says a selfish mother of four.

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/07/best-way-reduce-your-carbon-footprint-one-government-isn-t-telling-you-about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

Yes, you did.
Middle of second page.

I did note that. And corrected myself.

My point still stands.

Time, body, career, finances were the majority reasons offered. Where is the discussion about the impacts of choosing to have so many children - and the impacts on the world that they and their kids will inherit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps I missed something - but I can't believe that, in three pages, NOT ONE person mentioned environmental considerations.

For such a seemingly educated group of women, I don't quite understand - in light of global pressures that have a high potential to affect this planet into the future - how three or four (or more?!?) can even be a consideration... Seems very, very selfish, IMHO.

Have one... Maybe two? Then. just. stop. already.

https://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change

Yes, you did.
Middle of second page.

I did note that. And corrected myself.

My point still stands.

Time, body, career, finances were the majority reasons offered. Where is the discussion about the impacts of choosing to have so many children - and the impacts on the world that they and their kids will inherit?

Not a consideration for me whatsoever. Sorry, but we don't agree on that. I believe brainpower is what is needed to fight our future environmental challenges.

[Anonymous]

I just felt like a family of 4 was a full family for me, since I grew up with a sibling. So after 1 there was definitely a longing for #2. My husband was an only and wasn't sure. Now of course neither of us regrets it. 2 kids is awesome. sometimes I think of 3 but i'm already 43 so it's not happening. LOL. We got a puppy instead.

[Anonymous]

I only ever pictured myself with one kid when I pictured myself as a mother, so I was already like 95% sure we were one and done. Then I had a pretty not great pregnancy/birth experience - largely because medical staff lost their dang minds because I turned 35 while pregnant, so things that were somehow fine when I was 34 were suddenly doomsday predictions. Anyway, kid’s here, for the record nothing is wrong with her, and my husband got the snip the same day as my 6 week postpartum appointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four fits in the log flume at an amusement park. More would be tricky, so we stopped.

Interesting “test”. Do you particularly love log flumes or what?

Someone on this site once wrote that the world is made for families of four. It’s true.