Estranged Mother and Brother Trying to Reconnect

[Anonymous]

Mom of a dc with ASD here-I'd go with your gut instinct and decline contact with them.

Who needs that? And what if they say awful things to your ds? I might feel differently if he was, say, 20. But he's still a child and they might scar him emotionally.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will not be granted a restraining order with that background.

I have a similar story except my father and mother disagreed. My mother supported our DS and my father wanted nothing to do with him or us. He actually told me that he does not respect me because I had a child with SN and then assaulted me in front of my mother, DH, and my DC. At that point, I cut him off. My mother told me that she will stand by my father and that that is more important to her than my DS or my family. I looked into getting a restraining order because of the assault, but it happened when I was visiting my parents home, so lawyer suggested that I just not visit them. The bar is quite high for a restraining order.

If I were you, I would send a nice note in the mail telling them that your DH and DC are your priorities now. While you wish them well, res-establishing contact would not be in your DC’s best interest, so no thanks. Then let it go and don’t respond.

[Anonymous]

I think your instinct is correct. I think the hurt and judgment they exhibited is as close to unforgivable as you can get. You can make peace with it while still keeping them out of your life. I would also think that some of this may be prompted by your brother who, now 10 years later, is facing the prospect of being solely responsible for your mother as she ages. Now he wants to get you back into the fold so that it's not all on him. I would bet HE is the one who suggested reconciliation and is bringing you mother along with the idea. Keep them excommunicated. They missed out on your son's childhood. They can't come swooping in now.

[Anonymous]

I really think there must be an ulterior motive for the sudden desire to reconnect. I don't trust it. Trust your instincts.

[Anonymous]

Forget about restraining orders—you don’t need one, they don’t work, and you will look unhinged trying to get one on this set of facts.

If they contact you directly and you don’t want a relationship, you can get a lawyer to write them a letter that says “leave my clients TF alone” for a few hundred bucks. It will impress them of your seriousness. It may also enrage them. You have to decide which is worth more.

[Anonymous]

I would try to reconnect. There is no downside, because you can just cut them off again if you’re not happy. I made that very clear with my own mother when she did incredibly hurtful things to me. She behaves

[Anonymous]

This thread is 6 months old, doubt OP's coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is 6 months old, doubt OP's coming back.

Sorry, that's a year and a half old... omg why do I think it's still 2020